


Monachopsis

by suethor



Series: Stars and Stripes [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Peggy Carter, Darcy Lewis Is a Good Bro, Domestic Avengers, F/M, Family Drama, Female Friendship, Gen, Minor Peggy Carter/Daniel Sousa, Parent Steve Rogers, Past Peggy Carter/Steve Rogers, Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Recovery, Steve vs. the Pop Culture References, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-24
Updated: 2018-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-17 23:07:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 78,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7289716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suethor/pseuds/suethor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>monachopsis: n. the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place; to be maladapted to your surroundings</i><br/> </p><p>In which Steve Rogers emerges from the ice to find that he left more behind than he thought.  Or, Peggy was pregnant when the Valkyrie crashed, leaving Captain America with a half-super-soldier daughter and a lot of catching up to do.  Against a backdrop of alien invasions and near-world destruction, the two star-spangled heroes attempt to found a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Of Condolences and Congratulations

**Author's Note:**

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**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve is surprised. Audrey lacks finesse. It's a disaster all around, really.

**1945**

“You’re pregnant.”  

_Excuse me?_

Peggy Carter’s fingers, which had been drumming against the examination table she sat on, stilled immediately.  At the doctor’s words, her lips parted in shock and the entire world seemed to freeze.   _I’m sorry, she wanted to say, _I must’ve misheard you.  Pregnant? _I don’t think so._ __ For a moment, all she could think was _no_ , and then her brain’s floodgates burst open, spilling a million thoughts into her headspace.  A good half of them were _this isn’t real._  This was a routine physical, which meant that the doctor was supposed to tell her that she was in good health, that she needed to incorporate more vegetables into her diet, and make an offhand comment about how she was in the prime for beginning to have children.  

Not that she was actually going to _have a child_.  

He flipped the papers back over onto his clipboard, smiling at her thinly.  “Congratulations, Missus.”  

Peggy opened her mouth to protest the results— _Excuse me, but there’s no way_ —

She flipped her eyes closed when the realization hit her.  There was a way.  She and Steve, before he’d put the plane down, one time.  And as it turned out, the worst case scenario had happened.  

Clenching her hands into fists, the confusion and denial fizzled away, replaced by complete, total _panic._ Peggy was an unmarried pregnant woman, in 1945, with no clue how to raise a child, let alone one that was half super soldier.  She inhaled sharply and then gritted her teeth together.  

“Are you sure?” she asked the doctor, straining to keep her voice even.  

“Positive,” he answered with a nod.  “Your husband will be pleased, I’m sure.”  

 _I don’t have a husband_.  No husband, no house, considering she’d been living in military bases for the past few years, and had a job where she _couldn’t be pregnant._

(Probably.  It was _probably_ unwise to be a pregnant field agent.)

 _No husband_ , her brain repeated.  That was always the solution when someone had children—they would have a husband to provide income so they wouldn’t have to work, to be there and sanction the pregnancy, to pay the rent.  

No husband.  

Peggy’s panic subsided, though not completely, making space for a whole other emotion to fill her: determination.  No husband had never been a problem before.  She’d never depended on a man, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.  If nothing, she had the sheer willpower and a few allies she knew she could count on to pull this off.  Peggy smiled down at the doctor, fibbing, “I’m sure he’ll be thrilled at the news.  Thank you so much, Doctor.”  Gathering her purse, she pushed off the examination table, her heels hitting the ground with a _click_ and reminding her of exactly who she was: Agent Carter, who’d defied orders and the beliefs of others, and she was not going to be taken down by a _baby._

With every exhale, she repeated it to herself like a mantra.   _I can do this.  I can do this.  I can do this._

The devil himself would have to crawl out of hell if he wanted to stop her.  

* * *

**2012**

It had been three days.  

Three days of biting her nails raw, of anxiety and excitement keeping her awake at night, of nonstop stillness and jokes going over her head because she couldn't seem to escape her own mind.  

Three days of waiting.  

Audrey Carter-Rogers took the seat she’d remained in since Monday, outside the observation room where the apparently not-dead Captain America was lying, unmoving.  

Where her _dad_ was lying, unmoving.  

She was still struggling to wrap her head around it.  

On Monday, three days previous, she’d been halfway down the hallway when someone called out, “For a sixty four year old woman, I’d say you’re pulling off that dress pretty well.”  

She’d stopped, spinning around on her heel.  There were only four people in the building who knew about her age, about the serum in her bloodstream that had given her questionable mortality, and the only person who didn’t have a distinctly masculine voice was supposed to be on a mission in Manila.  Maria Hill stood with a file in hand, raising an eyebrow at the blonde.  

“That’s about to get a lot more significant,” she’d added.  

“I thought you were in the Philippines,” Audrey said, wrinkling her forehead with a frown and ignoring the woman’s comments.  

“They called me back in when an 0-8-4 turned out to be something… _bigger_ ,” she settled, “than we originally thought.”  

Audrey rolled her eyes at the elusiveness of her words.  She’d been a SHIELD agent for, like, two decades, and she still knew how to spit out what she wanted to say without being too cryptic.  “Are you going to elaborate, or keep talking in riddles?  Maybe you’ve been spending too much time with Fury.”  

“Funny,” she’d said, notably _not_ laughing.  “We need your help.”  She extended the file in Audrey’s direction, forcing the woman to juggle around the items in her hands: a coffee cup, a set of keys, about a dozen of her own file folders, and a DVD case that Claudia had loaned to her.  

Audrey took the offered file, struggling to flip it open with her thumb.  Maria, after watching her fumble for a good thirty seconds, plucked the coffee cup and the DVD case out of her hands.  

“ _Star Wars_?” she asked.  

“Don’t judge me.  Tony and I snuck into that movie together, I’m nostalgic.”  

“You snuck out of houses run by Howard Stark and Peggy Carter for a movie?”

Audrey give her a look that attempted to be intimidating but didn’t succeed.  She finally managed to flip the folder open.   _Steve Rogers_ was printed across the top of the yellowing paper in block letters.  

“Uh, what’s this?” she questioned.  “I’ve seen my dad’s file before, I don’t need—”  

“Keep looking,” Maria interrupted.  

She’d raised an eyebrow, but did as she was told.  A few pages of pre-serum photos and measurements, a few mission reports, all of his failed attempts to enlist in the army.  More pages on what he’d done after, the battles he’d fought in and the men he’d saved.  One page dedicated entirely to Bucky Barnes, three to his work with her mother, and one with information about her.  None of it was new.  Her father’s identity alone  had led to the way she’d been raised—mostly quietly in mansions owned by Howard Stark with a cycle of people helping raise her.  After all, Peggy could do a lot, but balancing a baby in one hand and a gun in the other had proven to be quite difficult—not that she hadn’t tried, once.  

And then there was the whole _aging ratio._ Howard wasn’t a biologist, but a few blood tests and minimal observations had yielded the knowledge that Audrey’s entire aging process had been thrown off by the serum.  Even though she was born the size of a normal baby, the prolonged lifespan her body had been determined to deliver aged her four months physically for every year.  In other words, it had taken her sixty four years to be able to obtain an ID that would get her into a bar.  

(Not that alcohol did much to her, unless it was consumed in unreasonably massive quantities, but that was beside the point.)  

The information wasn’t anything she hadn’t laid her eyes on.  She was about to return the file to Maria when the corner of a photo caught her eye.  Unlike everything else, it was in full color, and the date in the corner wasn’t from the forties.  

It had been from the day before.  

That was probably what she was supposed to look at.  

Audrey had turned to the photo only to find at least three other pages that hadn’t been there in the past.  A recent mission report listed that agents had travelled into the arctic circle after finding an 0-8-4,which was what Maria had told her.  What Hill _hadn’t_ mentioned was that the 0-8-4 was a plane, on which they found her dad’s body, still breathing.  

Still alive.  

“What the _what?”_ she asked, and her heart began to beat like a bumblebee’s wings.  “My dad’s _alive_?”  

 _Oh my god_ , _oh my god._ She’d traced the words over with her thumb.   _Captain Rogers was found alive in the ice._

Alive.  

The first thing she thought was, _How the hell did this happen,_ and then there was _Jesus, even his hairstyle is still intact_ , and then, finally, _I need to call mom._

“After,” Maria dismissed.  

Apparently, she’d said that out loud.  She winced.  

“Coulson and Fury are overseeing his transfer from the hospital to an observation room.  They want you to break the news to him.”  

Audrey couldn’t see herself, but she’d been fairly sure that her eyes bugged out of her head at that.  “ _What?”_ The amount of stuff she had in her hands made it difficult to keep up with the agent’s pace as she started power walking down the hall.  “Which news?  The _seventy-years-later_ part or the _hi-I’m-your-kid_ part?”  

“I understood it to be both,” Hill said.  “They’re in the East Wing, and I’d walk you over but I still have to fill out paperwork to get Manila transferred to someone else.”  She muttered, “I’m second in command, and I know Fury doesn’t care, but I still have to do the goddamn paperwork.  Unbelievable.”  

That had been on Monday, and it was Thursday now, but Captain Rogers—Steve—what was she even supposed to _call_ him?—hadn’t made any movement to wake up since then.  Still, she’d been practically chained to the chair outside, only leaving a few hours ago because her fellow agents Lindsey and Claudia had dragged her to a nearby deli for food.  

(“Just because you _can_ survive on vending machine food, doesn’t mean you _should_.”

In reality, all the garbage food was messing up her hypermetabolism and making her sluggish, but neither of the women knew about her status as the Captain’s daughter; they just thought he was her mission.  If they were confused about why an investigative agent was working a recovery assignment, they didn’t say anything.)

It was nearing two in the afternoon now, and Caroline was complaining about the 1940s garb again.  Coulson and a few other agents had decided to ease the Captain into the twenty-first century, which apparently included dressing up one of their assassins in victory rolls and vintage shoes and making her pace outside his room every day in case he woke up.  

“Can I just say that shoemakers in the forties had very little regard for the existence of _toes_ ,” she complained again.  

Audrey snorted at the taller agent’s comment, grimacing sympathetically as she stomped her foot on the ground petulantly.  

“Also, I feel like it was unnecessary to dress me in forties lingerie.  My boobs hurt, and I don’t see it making that _much_ of a difference, because, really, how much action do  you think he got?  How many boobs did he actually get to look at?”  

Audrey had never had the experience of being grossed out by her parent’s love lives, since her mother hadn’t gotten married to a strange man, just to Souza, who Audrey had grown up with and considered a father figure anyway.  The feeling of disgust that pooled into her stomach was entirely foreign, because, really, she didn’t need to think about her dad in relation to her friend’s boobs.  

“I dunno, man,” she said, wringing her wrists out and fidgeting in her chair.  “You’re getting paid overtime, at least.”  

“Oh, _please_.  I should be getting a bonus just for having to sleep with my hair in rollers.  Do you know how much that sucks?”  

Audrey thought back to being a teenage in the eighties, and resisted the urge to nod.  “Uh, once, probably.  In college.”  

Caroline turned around, cocking her head to the side as she looked at her.  “What year did you graduate?  You look so young.”  

Oh Jesus.  Why had she brought up her age again?  

“Uh, I graduated early.”

She prayed to God that Caroline wouldn’t push it further.  The powers that be must’ve been listening, because she went back to complaining about the outfit again.  One of the agents working the computers flinched every time she cursed the itchy material of her shirt.  Audrey thought about reading the file again, and then she considered grabbing a laptop and watching a movie on it until something happened to keep her nerves at bay, but before she could do either of those things, the red light went off.  

Someone had helpfully stuck a post-it under the light that read _if this is on, captain america is awake_.  

“...chafing against my stomach, and—”  Caroline paused her rant to gape at the light for a second, then straightened.  “Let’s get this over with, then.”  

“Do you have the panic button?” the flinching agent asked her.  

“Yup.  Am I clear to go in?”  

He counted the security agents in the room and checked the camera monitors over once more and nodded.   “Clear.”  

Audrey bounded up from her chair to cross the room and stare down at the monitors.  The room where Captain Rogers was being held was like the set of a movie, placed in a warehouse-like space in the New York S.H.I.E.L.D. base.  One of the walls was a one-way mirror, so Audrey and the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. could see out, but nobody could see in.  She gripped the desk with white knuckles, focusing on the camera feed.  

He was standing up, and Audrey felt a sense of rubatosis as her heart began to thud in her chest like the pounding of a flittering hummingbird.  Though a bit muffled, the speakers emitted the audio from the room.  

Caroline’s voice sounded awfully docile as she greeted him with a smile and a “Good morning.”  She checked her watch and continued, “or should I say ‘afternoon.’”  

“Where am I?” he asked, and the sound of his voice made Audrey freeze her fidgeting.  This was the first time she’d ever heard her dad’s voice, and it unnerved her.  

The plan was to make it seem like the room was an SSR recovery room in New York City.  Caroline explained as such, the radio segment one of Coulson’s interns had picked playing dimly in the background.  Things were going smoothly until another line of words came out of the speaker.  

“Where am I, really?”  

Oh no.  

Audrey gripped the desk tighter, hoping this was just skepticism and not a mistake in the setup.  

“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Caroline said, shaking her head and smiling with faux apprehension.  “I—”

“The game,” he clarified.  “It’s from 1941.  I know, because I was there.”  

Well, _shit._ Audrey squeezed her eyes shut, flinching as the rest of the agents in the room scrambled into action.  

“Where’s that intern?” one of them demanded.  “He’s fired.”  

All the noise after that was dulled down as she removed her fake glasses and set them down on the table.  Yet another disguise S.H.I.E.L.D. had insisted on (“ _nobody will suspect you’re a super soldier in glasses”)_ that made her life about eight times more difficult and was not at all beneficial.  As she rubbed her temples nervously, the beep ssignalingCaroline’s panic button went off.  

Wow.  She must’ve been really clinging to her cover. Agent Carmichael took at least some credit for five assassinations since her recruitment and was capable of holding her own in a hand-to-hand with Barton.  But seconds after the security team rushed in, they were hurled out the door.  Audrey’s eyes flew away from the computer monitors and towards the window into the warehouse just in time to catch Captain Rogers punch a hole in the wall and jump out.  He took a quick glance around the room and then made a run for the double doors leading into the main facility.  

Caroline’s call for a code 13 was drowned out as Audrey scrambled out of her chair.  She swiped her badge, sprinting out of the room and down the hallways.  She began to chase after the escaping man, dodging agents who had been shoved out of the way in his flight.  

Just before she made it out the doors, Coulson appeared out of nowhere, grabbing her shoulder and stopping her.  

“Wait!” she protested.  “I can catch up to him.”  

He shook his head.  “Wait for him to get back, okay?  There’s no doubt that he’s going to associate S.H.I.E.L.D. with something bad for the foreseeable future, and we don’t want you to be a part of it in his head.”  

“How are they gonna catch him?” she argued.  

“They’ve already got the cars.  When they bring him back, you can explain, okay?”  

“But—”  Audrey spluttered, realizing she’d run out of arguments.  

She let herself be led to the room where they planned on breaking it to him: an office with a window over the city, not too large but not small enough to be claustrophobic, with a view of buildings but not of the chaos in Times Square.  

Caroline stormed in a second later with a notepad in one hand and a pen in the other.  “One of the agents thought you might wanna write down everything you want to say, just so that nothing is left out, and also, I can’t believe I wore that stupid hair for three days, and the plan _still_ didn’t work.”  She gritted her teeth together.  “I mean, why were we even using radio feedback from when he was _alive?”_

Audrey shrugged.  “I don’t know, I mean, the intern’s obviously fired.  Maybe he was praying for a case of amnesia, or something?”  She took the paper and the pen and began to compile a list of speaking points.   _1\. You have a daughter; 2. I am the daughter; 3. It’s 2011 and you’ve been asleep for seventy years; 4. S.H.I.E.L.D. has rented an apartment for you in Brooklyn in an attempt to help you adjust.  5. I’ll be in charge of re-introducing you to_ life _._  Her pen hovered over the first two bullet points as she debated a more... _graceful_ way to share those facts.  And should the seventy years thing come before or after the _hi I’m your kid_ part?  Should she mention her mom yet?  

Caroline tilted her head to the side.  Under her gaze, Audrey felt scrutinized.  What was she thinking?  In an attempt to appear natural, she bent over and began writing again.  Caroline hummed under her breath and then dropped something on the desk before strolling out of the room.  Upon looking up, Audrey realized that it was her glasses.  

Her eyes flew over to the now-empty doorway, just missing the spy’s retreating figure.  Had she tried them on and found out they were fakes?  There were cracks in her cover now.  

She slipped them on just as Captain Rogers and a few other agents entered the room.  She was seeing him in person now, and _wow,_ she totally had his nose.  He still looked wildly alarmed as one of them pulled the chair out for him.  

Another agent, this one a woman, distributed a file on the desk.  Audrey glanced at it once to find that it was hers.  The lady nodded shortly, and closed the door behind her as she and the rest of the agents left.  

She gawked at the man in front of her for a few seconds, mouth open partially in shock.  It was only when he shifted uncomfortably that she remembered her mission and snatched up the notepad.  “Um, hi, uh...Captain.”  

Wow.  Nice.  The first word she ever said to her father was “ _um”_.   _It’s better than it could’ve been,_ she tried to convince herself. Her half siblings, Laura and Martin, had just screamed when they first encountered their dad.   Granted, they were newborn babies, but still.  At least her first word to her dad was an actual word?  

Optimism.  Nice.  

“I’m Audrey,” she introduced, careful not to mention either of her last names.  “So, uh, S.H.I.E.L.D. wants me to break the news to you.  You have a daughter.”  Steve’s eyes, previously unfocused, cleared suddenly as he shifted all his attention onto her.  Before he could say anything, she spit out, “And, uh, the daughter is me.  Hi.”  She pushed the folder on the desk towards him.  “Here’s my birth certificate.  Um, Peggy Carter is my mom.”  

 _Oh my_ god _oh my god oh my god._ Audrey wanted to simultaneously pat herself on the back and punch herself in the nose.  

Audrey gritted her teeth as Captain Rogers slowly lifted a hand to the file, pulling it towards him and opening it.  The raw panic never seemed to leave his eyes.  She did her best to hold still and keep her lips sealed as he stared at the documents.  Something seemed to catch his eye and he looked up at her.  Then back down.  Then up again.  

He squinted.  “These… these can’t be real.  You aren’t sixty-five.”  

Apparently, someone had already mentioned the year to him.  Which meant there was no subject to move onto when things inevitably got weird.  

“They’re real,” she assured him.  “I promise.”  Biting her lip, she added a quick, “Congratulations, I guess.”  

Captain Rogers opened his mouth but didn’t say anything, just looked down at the file and back up again.  “How are you sixty five?” he questioned finally.  

Audrey answered almost on instinct.  “The serum is in my bloodstream, which means that I age slowly, to help prolong my lifespan.”  Those words were how she'd explained it to a dozen different people, and how people had always explained it to her.  Captain Rogers nodded slowly, still looking doubtful and kinda like he was considering breaking the glass of the window behind Audrey and jumping out.  She didn’t hold it against him.  This was the most painful conversation she’d ever experienced, including the time Jarvis tried explaining the birds and the bees to her, which had been really, really painful.  

He kept flipping through her file, which was more of a photo album than anything.  Some experimental observations on Stark Sr.’s behalf, her date of recruitment, a list of tutors who’d homeschooled her.  There were an entire two pages dedicated to her various home addresses, both in the US and a few in England.  The only actual school she’d ever attended, under the guise of being an American foreign exchange student in England.  It had only been for a year, but it had been the most thrilling experience.  

She couldn’t go to an actual school, really, because it tended to raise questions when a six year old in first grade looked practically the same in fifth grade.  Still, Peggy had acquiesced to let Howard to help her find tutors to educate Audrey.  

“You said Peggy’s your mom?” Captain Rogers asked again.  Audrey nodded, suddenly filled with the dreadful feeling that there were multiple possibilities to whom he’d had a kid with.  He continued.  “You said she _is_ , not she _was_.  She’s still alive?”  

Oh thank god.  

Audrey nodded enthusiastically.  “She’s in England, because she wanted to be somewhere more familiar.”  She hesitated before adding, “She was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s a few years ago, and being here kept...reminding her.  Of you, and of everything else.  It would upset her, so Daniel and I had her moved to somewhere closer to her childhood.”  

“Who’s Daniel?”  

Oh no.  She hadn’t meant to let that slip.  That wasn’t—crap.  

Oh no.  "Um."

_Just spit it out._

“Daniel is my stepfather,” she blurted.  “He and mom got married in 1950.”  

Steve looked like a tragedy, for a moment, and Audrey wasn’t sure how a person could look like a concept, but he seemed to embody it.  Everything about him was tragic for that half second—his eyes were saddened, his shoulders slumped, he looked tired and finished and just generally _tragic._ Audrey bit her lip, chewing hard, because if she’d just remembered not to mention it to him, she could’ve told him later when not everything was a shock, and she’d been the one to make him look that depressed, and—

“That’s good.”

“Wait, _what_?”

She hadn’t meant to say that out loud either.  

“I’m glad she moved on,” Captain Rogers clarified.  

“Oh.”  Laughing nervously, she added, “Yeah.  Uh.  It was good.”  

 _That_ tipped the scale away from pat-on-the-back and towards punch-in-the-face.  She could not.  Stop.  Talking.   _It was good._ What did that even _mean?_

“There’s an apartment,” she burst out.  At Steve’s confused look, she elaborated, “There’s an apartment in Brooklyn that S.H.I.E.L.D.’s renting out for you.  They’ve also got enough in a bank account for you to survive without getting a job for a decent amount of time.”

“What’s S.H.I.E.L.D.?”  

“Pardon?”  

“What’s S.H.I.E.L.D.?” he repeated.  

“They didn’t explain this part?” she inquired disbelievingly.  “I’m judging them, not you, by the way.  I can’t believe they didn’t introduce themselves.  But, um, S.H.I.E.L.D. is the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement, and Logistics Division.  It’s like the FBI, or the CIA, but weirder, because we deal with all the stuff that’s kinda extraordinary.”  As a last note, she added, “My mom helped found it.  Peggy.  Mom.  She wanted to name it in honor of you.”  She remembered listening to Howard, Peggy, and a few other men discussing names.  The acronym had come first, and they’d built around it.  

“Can I visit her?” he asked slowly.  “Not yet, but do you think that’s possible?”  

Audrey nodded vigorously, thankful that he’d said something before she could begin babbling again.  “Yeah, of course!  I’m actually going to see her at the beginning of May, which, to be fair, is only in two weeks, but you’re welcome to come if you’d like.”  

He seemed to respond well to her enthusiasm because Steve cracked the tiniest of smiles and answered, “I’d appreciate it.”  

She waved him off.  “It’s not a problem.  I usually like to go for the Friday and the whole weekend, and then stick around on Monday.  If she’s having a good day, we’re allowed to take her around.  Sometimes she likes to go to London.  There are shops she likes to visit sometimes.”  Audrey smiled wistfully at the thought of her mother..  A beat of silence reigned over the room.  Unsurprisingly, Audrey began talking again.  “Do you want to head back to your apartment?  I don’t know if you’re tired or what but I’m getting the feeling that you’re kind of done with being _here._ ”  

“Not tired,” Steve clarified.  “I’ve done enough sleeping for a while.  Hungry, maybe.”  

Audrey grinned and took the opening he gave her.  “I know a place that has the best sandwiches ever,” she swore.  “We should get some.” There was an invitation to continue catching up in there, somewhere.  She hoped he understood.  

He nodded, smiling a little more.  “Sure.”  

“Great.”  She collected the papers from the desk, ripping the top sheet off the legal pad and discarding it.  She pulled all the files together.  “Do you want to keep this for now?” Audrey asked him, pointing down at the file on her.  

“If you wouldn’t mind.”  

“Sure,” she told him, face splitting into a grin.  “I can get you mom’s file too, if you want.”  He nodded, and she rushed ahead to open the door for him.  “After you, Captain.”  

“Uh, you can call me—”  

 _Please don’t say_ dad.  

“—Steve.”  

Oh thank god.  Audrey grinned up at him.  

“Okee-dokie.  After you, Steve.”  

She shut the door behind her, getting the feeling that maybe things weren’t going to be so terrible.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH okay so I teased this idea in a [gifset](http://theblackwidow.co.vu/post/145886258803/captain-america-au-audrey-rogers-1-peggy) on my tumblr a little while ago, and while I deal with writer’s block for my other Marvel fic (Ink Blots) I decided to draft a first chapter, which accidentally got really long??? oops.
> 
> This fic of course ties in with a lot of the canonical plot elements, but the main part of it is about the characters and the way their relationships develop. Audrey and Steve have a long way to go in terms of their dynamic, and it’s going to take a long time for them to actually become a family and become comfortable with that. Aside from that, Audrey’s dealing with how to build up her own person, because even though she’s been alive for so long she’s only just been starting to feel like an adult. 
> 
> This fic is part of a series that I’m temporarily dubbing the Stars and Stripes series, until I can come up with a better name. I’m pretty sure Monachopsis will span from the end of The First Avenger to the end of Avengers, topping off at about twenty or so chapters. I’m not too sure on the way the rest of the series will be divided, but the Captain America and Avengers movies are likely to get their own separate fics. 
> 
> I really enjoyed writing this! I hope you liked reading it, and I’d love to hear your feedback in a review. 
> 
> Find me on [tumblr](http://theblackwidow.co.vu)/[the tumblr dedicated to this fic.](http://audreycarterrogers.tumblr.com)


	2. Somewhere, Skies are Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Paninis, sketchbooks, withheld shovel talk, movies, nightmares, and bonding.

“You want... _five paninis?”_

The waitress at the Brickhouse Deli was giving both Steve and Audrey quizzical looks.  “That’s right,” Audrey confirmed.  

“Are there other people joining you?  We have bigger tables, um...” she trailed off, an arm extended towards a cluster of empty tables capable of holding four people.  

“It’s just the two of us, but, um, thanks.”  She smiled awkwardly, trying to be polite.  It reminded him of himself, before the serum and even a little after.  Steve wasn’t sure if he should be happy about recognizing bits of himself in her, or sorry that he passed those traits on.  

In the hour that Steve had known her– _his daughter–_ he’d identified four things about Audrey.  One: she definitely had the same nose as him.  Two: she seemed to have inherited his social finesse.  Three:  her laugh sounded just like Peggy’s.  Four: she was impossibly optimistic.  

The last one was the most interesting to him.  Steve had always assumed that even though he was a ray of positivity or a sliver of hope for the American people during World War II, he’d either die in battle or grow up old and bitter.  He’d lost too much to be the same.  Audrey had spent sixty years on this earth and still grinned to herself whenever someone did something nice for her.  When the man held the door open for her, when someone knocked out of the way and then paused to make sure she was okay.  She still managed a small grin and a “thank you,” said like she meant it.  

“So uh,” he started, but trailed off when he realized he didn’t have an end to his sentence.  Steve had a million and one questions for the girl, but they all seemed like the wrong ones.  

As if reading his mind, she piped up, “Right!  Okay.  You must have a ton of questions, and I’m here to answer all of them.”  She frowned.  “Actually, I don’t remember much of the fifties or the early sixties but you can still ask me.  I’ve got my phone, I can look them up.”  

“You can look things up on a phone?” he blurted without thinking.  Great.  Was she going to think he was stupid now?  

If she did, Audrey didn’t show it.  “Yeah!” she exclaimed, reaching over to her bag and pulling a rectangular box out of it.  “Okay, so phones were just...devices for calling people through, I think, 2000.  Then they started to develop mobile phones, which were phones you could charge and take places with you, or phones with batteries that you could replace instead of needing to be hooked up to the wall.  Then they invented smartphones.”  She pushed the block across the table, tapping it.  

The block lit up and he jolted a little in surprise.  She was too fixated on entering a passcode–8, 2, 8, 4, 5–to notice his reaction.  

A series of small pictures filled the screen, as well as a logo lighting up on top:  _Stark Industries_.  

“Stark?” he asked.  “Howard Stark?”  

Audrey opened her mouth.  “Uhhh….” she said, then cringed at herself.  “No, um, Stark Industries is Tony Stark now.  Howard died in a car crash in the nineties.”  She bit her lip.  “I know you knew him.  I’m sorry.”  

“It’s...it’s okay.  I think most everyone I knew is dead by now.”  Steve’s own cavalierness surprised him.  She looked taken aback by it, too, and he wanted to swallow the words back into his mouth.  This was uncomfortable.  “Do you live in New York?” he asked quickly.  

Audrey relaxed visibly.  Steve wondered how Peggy, one of the best spies he knew, had raised a child who expressed what she felt so clearly.  Maybe she just...trusted him.  Already.  In that case, how had Peggy, still one of the best spies he knew, raised a child who trusted so quickly?  

“I live in Brooklyn, yeah.”  She nodded profusely.  

“Do you have a family?”  

Her jaw dropped a little, either in shock or amusement or a combination of both.  Steve hadn’t known if it was a dumb question or not, because in his day, she looked like she was at the age to be married with a kid or two.  But Audrey shook her head no.  “I mean, I’ve got mom and Daniel and Tony, and I used to have Anna and Jarvis but they’ve both passed away.  But I don’t have a husband or kids.”  She hesitated before adding quickly, “I’ve got a boyfriend, though.”  

Oh.  Okay.  This was uncomfortable again, because he wasn’t sure how to react.  She had a boyfriend, which was good if he made her happy, but he remembered men being furiously protective of their daughters.  Somehow, though, he figured that she had a good head on her shoulders.  He didn’t want to obstruct her personal life–that was hers, and he’d been absent too long to really have a place in it yet.  Did he want a place in it?  This was his _daughter_ , but Steve had missed out on so much of her life.  Still, this was one of the last things he had.  When he’d gone into the ice, he’d lost everything, but now that he was out of it, he’d gained a kid.  Was he supposed to bond with her?  Did she want anything to do with him?  Steve opened his mouth with the intention of asking her.  “Huh,” he said instead.  “Uh, so you work for SHIELD?”  

“Yeah,” she answered, nodding.  “I’m an investigative agent, because, I mean, even though I’ve got the strength and stuff, they didn’t want to reveal a new superhero yet.  Nobody knows that you have a kid, and if I were out punching people, questions would be asked...yeah.  So I work on solving cases instead.”  

Neither said anything for a moment.  

“I can tell you’re beating yourself up about something,” Audrey divulged abruptly.  Her next words took on a sheepish tone.  “That’s how I look when I’m annoyed with myself.  But um, you can trust me.  I don’t know how much good _saying that_ will do, but you can.  I’m required to tell SHIELD if you do anything to physically hurt yourself or others, but otherwise, all of this stays between us.”  She blew out a breath.  “But, um, anyway, after lunch–does this count as lunch?  It’s, like, two-thirty—wait.  Let me start over.  After _eating_ , I was thinking we could walk around a little, and then we could stop at my apartment and grab some DVDs, and then we’d go back to your apartment and watch them because my DVD player kind of sucks, but your apartment has all the bells and whistles, thanks to Coulson and his fanboy crush.”  

“DVDs?”  Steve didn’t say anything in response to the _Coulson and his fanboy crush_ part.  Partly because he didn’t know what it meant, but mostly because he didn’t think he wanted to.  

“Movies.  Sorry.  They’re portable movies, I guess?  You take the DVD and when you put it in the player you can watch it at home.”  

Steve nodded, not giving his reaction away.  That was surprising.  Movies at home?  Steve hadn’t been able to afford to go often, maybe if he saved up for a month and split the cost with Bucky, the two of them would manage a ticket and the other would try to sneak in.  The films weren’t always interesting, and sometimes the theaters could only afford to play repeats, but it always felt special to see them.  And then he’d _been_ in the pictures, which was probably the last time he’d seen one.  But now, people just watched them in their houses?  

“I don’t have plans, so that sounds fine,” he said, just as the waitress swung by, holding a tray with five separate sandwiches on it.  

“Ooh,” Audrey said, face splitting into a grin, shifting things on the table out of the way to make room.  The waitress struggled to arrange five different meals on the wooden surface.  Audrey took two in front of her, moving her glass all the way to the corner, and then tried to wedge two in between them, and then the woman set a sandwich in front of Steve.  She smiled politely at them, but as she walked away, Steve’s enhanced hearing caught something about _better-get-a-big-tip_.  Audrey shook her head.  “We’ll tip her well, I promise.  Okay.”  She pointed to the plate in front of Steve.  “That’s a BLT, it’s really good, and I almost hope you don’t like it so I can have it.”  Then she gestured to the two in between them.  “That’s a grilled cheese, simple but nice, good comfort food.  And that one is a pulled pork sandwich, which is honestly the best thing ever, but it’s heavy, so I recommend we split it.”  Finally, she gestured to the ones in front of her.  “This one is pesto chicken, and this one is prosciutto, which Tony likes to call a lesser bacon, but it’s just as good if it’s toasted.”  

Steve eyed the plates, struggling to remember which ones had which name.  Every plate looked good, and his stomach rumbled as a reminder that it had been more than half a century since he’d eaten anything.  He’d been sipping water as they talked, but that wasn’t enough.  He wanted food.  Things had grown more complex—everything was boiled in the forties.  This was grilled, or whatever word the menu had used, and there were so many things to pick from.  

“Alright.  Which do you wanna try first?”  

Glancing up from the piles of food, Steve made eye contact with Audrey.  Things might’ve been more complicated now, but he wasn’t alone.  

He had that.  At least he wasn’t alone.

* * *

 

Steve did end up liking the BLT, to Audrey’s simultaneous delight and dismay.  The two managed to polish off every plate, to the waitress’s bewilderment.  Like she promised, Audrey tipped generously when she paid the bill, ignoring the hand from Steve that flew to his SHIELD issued wallet.  

“I got it, don’t worry,” she insisted.  This was a minor introduction to modern society.  It wasn’t always the man to pick up the check anymore.  

When they stepped outside the deli, Steve was once again startled by how populated the sidewalks were.  People spilled over every direction, pushing and pulling, going somewhere else.  Audrey watched him carefully as he struggled to make a way through the path, so she took his arm and started to tug him down the street, until they were in front of a bookstore.  “We have to go in here,” she said suddenly, yanking him to the side and through the glass doors.  There was no bell that chimed, just two-pronged, shelf-like objects made of gray plastic.  “Those are for security,” Audrey informed Steve when she caught him glancing at them in surprise.  “They sense if a product is being taken out of the store without having been paid for.”  

“Huh.”  Steve wondered how they could do that, detect if something had been purchased or not.  

He surveyed the rest of the store, big, with shelves of books crowding up the walls.  Audrey wasn’t focused on the ones high up on the shelves, though, she was strolling over to the sections of notebooks.  She pulled two from the shelves—one large enough to hold full-size sheets of paper, the other small enough to fit into his back pocket.  “These are for you,” she decided.  “This one,” she started, shaking the smaller one, “is for pop culture.  Movies, music, books, sayings that you don’t understand, write them in here and you can ask me.  We’ll make a list of things you wanna read or see or do.  Or eat.  That’s important, too.”  She handed it to him.  Clasping the bigger one in both hands, she said, “Mom said you used to draw a lot.  Art can help with trauma, or if you just feel bored, or if you have a weird dream or whatever.”  She bit her lip, cheeks tingeing pink when he didn’t react.  “You don’t have to take it, if you want.  Um, I can get you something else.”  

“No,” he said, shaking his head.  “This is great.  Just, uh, paper used to be really expensive,” he explained.  “During the war.  I couldn’t afford it, usually, so I would just draw on butcher paper if I could get my hands on some.”  Audrey was nodding pensively.  “Thank you,” he finished.  

“Of course,” she assured him, nodding.  She continued nodding.  Letting out a breath, she turned to the shelf.  “We should get you some pencils, too.  Um, do you want color?”  

Steve nodded _yes_  because he’d never had colored pencils as a kid.  How odd it felt to squeeze into the mindset that he’d been a kid many years ago, when really he felt like everything had happened yesterday.  The loss of Bucky burned deep into his heart, he could still hear Peggy’s voice breaking over the radio ( _that,_ he thought, _is something I’ll never forget anyways_ ), still felt like the Howling Commando’s presence was missing.  Steve wasn’t sure if these feelings slashed at him because the memories felt fresh, or because they were forever embedded in his mind.  Was one better than the other?  

By the time they’d left the bookstore, Audrey had collected the two notebooks, pencils, a book on the history of the twentieth century, and a paperback for herself.  (“Sorry,” she’d apologized.  “My friend Caroline—who you met, actually, um, she was the one pretending to be from the forties, anyways—she keeps bugging me about reading it.”)

They took the train to Brooklyn, where Audrey shared with him her birthday (August twenty-eighth), her boyfriend’s name (Joshua), her favorite ice cream flavor (chocolate), and where she was born (Los Angeles, a few months after Peggy had finished investigating something called Zero Matter).  When they arrived at the stop in Williamsburg, she made her way through the crowd, leaving a trail of “excuse me”s in her wake.  

As they strolled up the block, Audrey waved into a few store windows, pausing their conversation to point things out.  “My aunt, Angie, she was an actress.  After her first show on Broadway, she took mom and me out for dinner here,” Audrey noted about an Italian restaurant.  “It’s been here forever, opened right after the war ended.”  

Steve had managed to remember a few of the names she mentioned.  Daniel was Peggy’s husband, Angie was her friend, Laura and Michael were her step children, Jarvis was Howard’s butler and Peggy’s partner in crime, and Anna was his wife.  Steve noted Audrey’s tendency to use the same British exclamations has Peggy had.  “Bloody hell!” she’d yelped as she tripped platform on the subway.  “For Lord’s sake,” she muttered as she rummaged through her bag in search of a ringing cell phone.  It sounded almost comical in an American accent, but she hadn’t seemed to notice how foreign the saying was.  Maybe it was just foreign to Steve.  It seemed everything was at this point.  

“Okay,” she said finally, pulling up in front of an apartment.  “Here we are.  You can, um, come inside.”  

As Steve strolled inside, hands in his pockets, he took in the small lobby and the security guard sleeping at the front desk.  It worried him, until he remembered that Audrey inherited some of the serum’s effects, and could likely hold her own.  Thinking of her as someone with super strength was difficult—while Steve had gained muscles in bulk quantity, Audrey still looked like a normal person.  

After the short elevator ride to the sixth floor, Audrey pulled out a key and inserted it into the lock of the third door to the left.  “This’ll be quick,” she promised.  “I just need two minutes.”  And then she swung the door open.  

The space was tiny, first of all.  The bedroom wasn’t separate from the rest of the space, and various books were scattered everywhere.  File folders littered every available surface, with the exception of the counters in the kitchen.  Tacked up on the walls were photos of her and Peggy, her and a few other older men and women.  One of her and a red and gold robot, who was making an obscene gesture at the camera.  Steve hoped that wasn’t Joshua.  

It didn’t seem like a home he _or_ Peggy could’ve kept.  This was entirely her.  

“Okay,” Audrey said, closing the trunk she’d been kneeling by.   _“_ All this history stuff is important, I know, but I think the real key to catching up with the times is with these.”  

Steve stared at the pile of boxes Audrey had deposited on the desk.  “What are these?” he asked, lifting one up for examination.  

“ _These_ , are DVDs, my dude.  Movies.  Picture shows?  I forget what they called them in the 40s.  But anyways, if we start with _Forrest Gump_ and then jump around from there, I  don’t think it’ll be too bad.”  

Steve didn’t know what _Forrest Gump_ was, but he figured he would find out sometime soon.  Before he could stop himself, he blurted, “Do you have pictures of Joshua?”  

“Um, yeah.  I do.  Do you want...to see them?”  

Steve nodded.  

“Okay.”  

Instead of going over to the wall, Audrey pulled the box—the _phone_ , he corrected himself—from her purse and unlocked it again.  The passcode was her birthday, Steve realized.  

She tapped the screen for a bit before thrusting it back in his face.  The photo was of a group of people—Audrey on the left, the woman Steve met earlier (Caroline, he thought, but wasn’t certain; she might’ve said Catherine) kissing a blonde woman on the cheek, a grinning man, and two other ladies with their arms looped together.  “He’s the one in the middle,” Audrey supplied after a beat of silence.  She pulled the phone back.  “Um, anyways, your apartment isn’t too far.  A few blocks east.  The walk shouldn’t be bad.”  

Hurriedly, Audrey began to shovel the plastic cases into her purse.  With a sharp tug on the zipper, she sealed the bag shut.  

“Whew,” she breathed comically.  She scowled.  “I regret doing that, ignore me.”  

Steve couldn’t help the laugh that  bubbled up in his throat.  When Audrey’s bewildered eyes flew over to him, he explained, “You sound like me.”  

In a second, her gaze went from confused to soft.  The corners of her lips quirked up into a gentle grin.  “There are worse things to be compared to,” she said.  Steve felt warm, for the first time since he’d woken up.  “Now come on, Captain.  We’ve got movies to watch.”  

* * *

 

Steve’s apartment was huge.  

Maybe not huge as the modern definition applied, but it was definitely huge for him.  A full bedroom, a living area and a kitchen, a separate bedroom with a closet, and a bathroom.  He probably could’ve fit three of his old apartment into the bedroom alone.  “Unpacking” consisted of putting his duffle bags onto the bed in the bedroom.  SHIELD had given him enough clothes to last a week without needing to do laundry, some basic toiletries, and a lot of cash.  

Audrey, though reluctant at first, eventually relaxed on the couch.  Steve mimicked her slouching position as they watched the movie, since sitting straight grew uncomfortable as time passed.  

 _Forrest Gump_ did help as a brief overview of the time between the fifties and the eighties.  As Steve observed the fashion changes each decade underwent, he found some positive to missing out on everything.  Not much, but Audrey’s positive outlook was almost infectious.  Before he noticed it, Steve was clinging to anything uplifting he could find.  

After _Forrest Gump_ came _Lilo and Stitch_ , which Audrey described as being “not historically relevant, but it’ll make you feel happy.”  Steve had found it cute, but hadn’t realized that Hawaii annexed until Audrey explained it to him.  

Then came a brief introduction to smartphones.  “There are, like, three buttons you really need to know how to use.  This one,” she started, pointing to something with the outline of a phone, “is for calling people.  If you tap on it, it brings up a keypad.  Now.  Um, I’m going to add myself on speed dial.  It you call 1, it’ll go directly to my phone.  And I’ll add myself to your contacts list too.  You can call  me for everything.  I mean it.  Anything you need, you can call me.”  

As she typed her name in, he noticed that she didn’t have “Rogers” as any part of it.  Just Audrey Carter.  

Or maybe she’d just dropped it for now.  Did that mean anything?  

He tried not to think too hard about it.  

“This is for texting.  Texts are like...little letters that you write to people.  But they arrive instantly.”  She pulled out her own phone to demonstrate.  “I’ll send you a text that says, ‘Hello, Steve’ now,” she started, typing out the message.  Steve’s own device buzzed a second later.  “And you’ll get it immediately.”  Then, grinning as if she hadn’t known this technology for the duration of its existence, Audrey said, “It’s cool, right?  You can text me if you don’t feel like talking, and I think next time I’ll introduce you to emojis.”  Steve didn’t know _what_ that meant, but he was okay with that for now.  

“What’s the last one I need to know?”  

“Right!  The last one is this.”  She pointed to a red button  on the screen.  “This is a help button.  If there’s ever an emergency, if you get hurt, you press the button and it’ll tell SHIELD your location so they can come get you.”  

 _That_ he wasn’t so okay with.  SHIELD was founded by Peggy, yes, and employed Audrey.  They’d revived him from the ice, but they’d also lied to him.  Undoubtedly, they were powerful, and Steve hadn’t known about them long enough to ensure that they were using that power correctly.  

As if she could see what he was thinking, Audrey said, “I know you don’t trust SHIELD yet.  But you can count on them to save you if you’re in danger.  That’s important.”  

Steve held his breath.  “Okay,” he answered.  The solution was easy—don’t become endangered.  Then he wouldn’t have to deal with SHIELD.  Or he could just call Audrey if he needed help. She’d said to call him for everything.   

Fine.  Then that was that.  SHIELD need not intervene.  

Audrey had dropped both phones back on the table and moved back over to the DVDs.  “You want something educational or something fun?”  She gasped.  “No wait, we have to watch _Ferris Bueller_.  That one has both.”  

Steve nodded.  “Whatever you say, kid.”  

* * *

 

That night, Audrey left with a promise that the two of them could meet up tomorrow morning, and just to text her when he felt ready to do something.  “There are running shoes in one of the duffles,” she added.  “Same design they use on me, so they won’t fall apart when you use them.”  On her way out, she’d thrown her arms around him, but Steve, too stunned by the action, hadn’t done anything to reply.  “Okay, well, um.  I’ll see you tomorrow.  Bye.”  

And then she’d scampered down the hallway and into the elevator.  

Before she’d left, she’d advised to him at least try sleeping.  Steve started in on one of the movies, but without Audrey to explain what they meant by this or that, he was lost a half hour in.  He switched off the TV—manually, because he was still iffy with all the buttons on the remote—and glanced over at the kitchen table.  Audrey had left her file and Peggy’s with him.  

Sitting down in the chair, he pulled out Audrey’s.  Born in 1945, raised quietly.  Peggy was pregnant with her during the bout with Leviathan in New York and with Whitney Frost in LA.  She still managed to avert both possibly-world-ending crises.  There weren’t any photos from Audrey’s birth, but there were measurements.  She was bigger than he’d been, probably because his sickly disposition had gone away after the experiment.  On her birth certificate, Steve saw that Peggy had hastily scrawled _S. ROGERS_ in the father spot.  

There were a selection of notes from Howard about her aging.  Audrey only celebrated her birthday every three years, according to the sheet, because it was when she actually got older.  Anna spent a lot of time mothering her while Peggy continued her missions, since apparently the woman had been shot and rendered unable to have her own children.  

Audrey never went to college, but passed multiple exams from SHIELD.  Steve guessed that she’d been taught a lot from the people she grew up with.  

There were photos of Audrey in the 80s, sporting wild curls.  One of her on her first posing in front of the SHIELD logo downstairs.  There was a note under that read:  _Agent Carter insisted on this photo.  This is the only copy, for privacy reasons_.

Steve read through the rest word-for-word.  The mission reports, the sparring progress.  It was the closest he would get to being with her.  

Peggy’s file was thicker, depicting at least a dozen incidents where she covertly saved the world, notes on Howard’s neverending search for him, her marriage license to Daniel Sousa, and at the bottom, a phone number to the center where she lived.  Steve glanced at his own phone, resting on the table.  It would be easy to call her, just to hear her voice again.   _Saturday night, at the Stork club.  Eight o’clock on the dot.  Don’t you dare be late._

Steve winced.  He was late.  Very, very late.  

Flipping the file shut, he resigned himself to at least trying to sleep.  

* * *

 

_“Steve?”_

_Through the laughter and the music filling the dance hall, Steve could make out the sound of someone calling his name.  He turned around at the sound to find Peggy standing before him, hands resting on her hips.  She was dolled up in a blue dress, hair tied in victory rolls.  She smiled at him and the whole room glowed._

_“I thought I lost you for a second,” she  swore teasingly.  “Ask me to dance, already.  C’mon, Steve.”_

_“What about the baby?” he asked, words slipping from his tongue before he could stop them.  Wouldn’t want to hurt the baby._

_Peggy’s laugh filled his ears, warm and forgiving.  “She’s at home, remember?  It’s just us.  Ask me to dance, Steve.”_

_Smiling hesitantly, Steve leaned forward.  “May I have this dance, Peggy?”_

_She pretended to consider, scrunching her face up and tilting her head back and forth.  “Well, alright.  Do you promise you won’t step on my toes?”_

_He shook his head, answered with a solemn, “No.”  But then, grinning, he added, “But I promise I’ll try.”_

_Peggy took his hand and led him out through the crowd.  The dance floor was crowded.  People laughed.  Cameras flashed.  But all the bodies were packed too tightly to dance.  Steve looked down and realized he wasn’t moving anymore.  They pressed too tightly against him._

_His gaze chased the path of his arm, only to find that his hand wasn’t holding Peggy anymore.  Instead, his fist gripped tightly onto…._

_“Bucky?”_

_“Steve.”  Panic lit up his best friend’s eyes.  “Steve!” he shouted, and then the crowd began to move, yanking him away.  “Steve!” he called again._

_From behind him, he heard Peggy’s voice.  “Steve?  Steve.  Come back to me.”_

_Too many people.  This wasn’t a dance hall.  When did Bucky come back?  Where had he gone?  And Peggy.  Why did she leave him?  Or was it the other way around?  Steve shut his eyes tightly, opened them, found himself in a nursery.  In the corner, from within a crib, a baby wailed._

_He looked over his shoulder.  Nobody was coming._

_He’d never been good with kids, even though he and Bucky had spent hours trying to care for Rebecca when they were children.  He took a heavy step towards the crib.  The infant had bright blue eyes, like his own.  Steve held her tightly, but she wouldn’t stop crying._ Stop crying.  Stop crying.  Stop crying.   _“Shh,” he tried to sooth, but she only wailed louder.  “Don’t cry,” he said, but the baby  went on with the screaming.  He took a step forward, but there was no ground, and he slipped, letting go of the child in surprise._

_Steve was in freefall.  His heart raced.  He began to call out for help., groping around in the darkness for something to  hold onto, before the darkness opened up, and he was hovering over a metropolis.  A building came into view, taller than all the others, and he was fast approaching.  His calls for help went unheard, Steve tucked his chin into his chest, tried to find his shield, but it was gone.  He was gone._

Blue eyes snapped open in the darkness.  Steve couldn’t move.  His muscles refused to cooperate as he attempted to reach out to figure out where he was.  A beat passed, and suddenly he was standing up in a hurry, tangled in the sheet from the bed.  His eyes made out the outline of a lamp in the corner.  Reaching over, he flicked the thing on.  “A dream,” he muttered to himself.  His heart raced.  He didn’t want to go to sleep.  But he didn’t want to be awake all that much either.  He just didn’t want to be alone.  

Steve’s eyes went to the phone charging on the nightstand.  Audrey had said to call her for everything, right?  

But this was too much.  The clock by his table read three in the morning.  He didn’t want to ask for that much.  He could do this by himself.  

So he grabbed his running shoes and brushed his teeth and headed out the door.  If he could just escape, he’d probably be okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS.  I’m absolutely floored by the response this fic has gotten.  Seriously.  Thank you all so much.  
> 
> We got a little of Steve’s perspective this chapter.  I’ve never written in his voice before, so this was really fun to do!  My poor son just needs a break, honestly.  Let him rest.  We also got Steve and Audrey bonding and forming trust right here, which is exciting.  Unfortunately, I didn't have a beta this chapter so all mistakes are my own, sorry about those. 
> 
> Things really pick up with the next few chapters.  I wanna say that the Avengers plot is going to be chapter 4, maybe chapter 3 if that’s how the timeline works out, but definitely by chapter 5.  
> 
> Here’s a sneak peek of next chapter!  
> 
> Chapter 3
> 
>  
> 
> _Fury glowered at Audrey.  Well.  Maybe he wasn’t glowering, per se, but from Audrey’s spot eight inches below him, it sure seemed like it.  “I want to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative,” he said.  “More specifically, yours and the Captain’s places in it.”_
> 
>  
> 
> Please leave a review if you feel so inclined, and make sure to check the blog out on [tumblr!](http://audreycarterrogers.tumblr.com)


	3. Folie a Deux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve's unorthodox retail therapy, Darcy Lewis, and the Avengers, oh my!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [gifset](http://audreycarterrogers.tumblr.com/post/146609594533/wandamaximoffk-captain-america-au-audrey)

**Chapter Three:** Folie a Deux

“ _You_ had me assigned to his case?”  Audrey had the phone balanced between her shoulder and her ear as she struggled with a basket of clean laundry.  It was two in the morning, she was exhausted, but she couldn’t sleep.  On the other end of the line, Peggy Carter was humming to her.  

“Of course, my darling,” her mother answered.  “I’m not in charge of SHIELD anymore.  You’re one of the people I would trust to handle a case this important.  And it’s important that he knows you.”  

“So you just...called in a favor?  To Fury?”  

“Exactly.”  

Audrey yelped as she banged her fingers between the doorway and the ledge of the basket.  

“What was that?” Peggy asked, her voice beginning to grow gravelly, the way it always did before she began a coughing fit.  

“It was nothing, Mum.  Don’t worry about it.  I love you.”  

Peggy began to sputter out an “ _I love you too”_ only to break out coughing, and to have the phone taken from her.  

“We’re going to start getting your mother ready now, alright dear?” the nurse notified her.  

Audrey bit her lip.  She wished that she were closer.  Every day, it seemed like her mom was drifting further away.  She swallowed these thoughts back down and buried them under something else.  “Of course.  Thank you.”  

* * *

Audrey had known about the Avengers Initiative since it was founded back in 2008.  

What she _hadn’t_ known was that she was on the shortlist.  

The day after she’d met Steve, Audrey woke up to a ringing phone and Caroline’s hushed voice on the other end.  “Aud, Fury wants to see you.  I don’t know why, and for some reason I’m not able to scare his new secretary into telling me, but I’d get down here quickly if I were you.”  

Which was, of course, a delightful way to kick off a Friday morning.  Audrey stumbled around her apartment trying to get ready, and then booked it to the subway.  She tripped over herself a dozen times just on the way to the train, and then a few more on the way inside the building.  The retinal, fingerprint, and access card scans eventually unlocked the elevator for her, and she had time to catch her breath.  

“Are you...okay?” someone asked.  Audrey squeaked and jumped in her spot, and then mentally scolded herself, because really?  A super soldier shouldn’t get surprised that easily.  When she turned to the voice, she found Doctor Foster’s intern clutching three coffee cups in one arm and a three-inch binder in the other.  

“Yeah,” Audrey answered.  “Sorry, it’s been a… rough morning.”  

She snorted. “Dude. Same.  I had to haul my ass out of bed at three a.m. this morning because my crazy scientist boss, who I adore and respect, but still, she wanted me to transcribe her notes for her because she and Erik got into a contest about who could publish a report faster, and they're betting all the pop tarts, which, like, _we can buy more_ , but they lived in a trailer for eight months, so I understand the frugality, but _still!”_ She let out a frustrated grunt.  “Sorry.  Too much info?”  

“It’s fine,” Audrey assured her.  She wanted to return the favor and explain why the past few days had been so hectic for her, but the woman’s clearance badge only indicated a level two.  And above that, a name.   _Darcy Lewis._ Next to the block letters was an image of the brunette squinting into the camera.  Audrey grimaced, because everybody seemed to get an ugly ID photo from SHIELD, except maybe Natasha Romanoff.  In her own picture, Audrey was blinking, but for some reason only her left eye had shut completely.  It seemed nobody was exempt, not even the former Director’s daughter.  “Do you need a hand?” she offered, noticing the way Darcy juggled the cups around in her arms.  

“I’m—” Darcy started, just as the lid for one of the coffees popped off.  “Typical,” she muttered bitterly, then asked, “Yeah, if you wouldn’t mind?  My boss is like, right down the hall and to the left.”  

“No problem,” Audrey said, even though her pulse quickened with every passing second.  Fury might have her head for being late, but… uh… at least she’d go down knowing she helped someone out?  

Yeah.  Sure.  

_Find the bright side._

Those words had been Anna’s, when Audrey had been struggling with her mother’s latest field injury.  “Find the bright side,” she’d said, in her soothing voice and calm lilt, with a hand on the girl’s shoulder to calm her down.  “You’re a bright girl.  Always look for the positive.”  

So, Audrey decided, even though her mother was injured and frustrated about being benched from field work—at forty-five years old, still (literally) kicking, the two had more time with each other, more quiet afternoons where Peggy would brush back her daughter’s hair and tell stories about Steve, or mornings where Audrey would read the newspaper out loud to Jarvis and Peggy.  It meant that Anna and Jarvis had more time together since he didn’t have to drive the getaway car for Peggy.  That had been the bright side then.  Now, the brightside to only brushing half her hair and furthering her tardiness was that she was helping Darcy out, and maybe this very coffee would… awaken the scientist into a new discovery.  Or something.  

She took two of the coffees into her own hands, freeing up enough limbs for Darcy to fix the lid on the third cup.  The elevator doors slid open to reveal a pristine hallway.  “First door on the right, it should be unlocked,” the brunette called out.  Audrey followed her advice, leaning back against the door to push it open.  Inside, she found a decidedly not-pristine labspace, covered in pop tart boxes, machines made of at least 40% duct tape, and papers.   _Everywhere._

Before she could stop it, a small gasp escaped from Audrey’s mouth.  “Oh lord,” she mumbled, the _lord_ coming out like her mother would say it— _Lohwd._

“Just put those on the counter, but near the sink, not near that contraption on the side,” Darcy instructed, dropping the binder down onto the table, pulling one of Jane’s hands away from a microscope, and setting the coffee into her grip.  Audrey dropped the cups onto the granite by the faucet.  “You’re a lifesaver,” Darcy thanked.  

“It’s not a problem,” Audrey answered, eyes flitting up to the clock.  “It was nice to meet you.  I need to.  Um.  Go.”  She waved and then cringed, fleeing the lab and jumping back into the elevator.  Once inside, she slumped back against the wall, closing her eyes for a moment to breathe.  With the added exhaustion, her life felt like more of a pipe dream than it had yesterday.  

Last night, before heading to sleep, she’d assembled a list of newfound discoveries.  1. Her dad was alive; 2. Physically, he was only, like, eight years older than her; 3. Fury wanted to see her, which never happened.  He usually used Hill as a go-between so he could remain in his office doing… whatever he did in his office.  Nobody went in there.  Audrey considered the possibilities briefly.  Did he nap?  Did he crochet in secret?  Was Fury’s guilty pleasure online gambling?  A mystery, indeed.  

In her purse, her phone buzzed.  Audrey slid it out of her bag to read the messages.  Two—from Josh and from Steve.  

The message from Josh read, **_dinner tonight?  8?_ **

Audrey answered: **_9 is better.  work.  Takeout?_ **

The message from Steve read:

**_(May 17, 2012) Audrey,_ **

**_Thank you for your offer to spend time with me today.  I’m available any time after nine._ **

**_Sincerely,_ **

**_Capn. Steve Rogers_ **

She bit her lip to keep from laughing at the message.  Did she want to mimic his style in a reply or go with something more phonetically casual?  

Finding the happy middle, she typed out:

**_Hey, Steve!  I had a work emergency this morning, so I’m not sure I can make it until around noon.  We could have lunch at an Italian restaurant not far from your apartment and take a walk after.  Is that OK?_ **

Before a response arrived, the elevator doors opened once again, this time directly into Fury’s office.  Audrey took a hesitant step into the space, the heel of her pumps _snip-snapping_ on the floor like scissors.  She clutched the strap of her purse with white knuckles, suddenly feeling cold.  

“Carter,” he barked, rounding a corner with Caroline and an assistant at his side.  Audrey’s friend shot her a sympathetic look, giving the blonde’s stomach reason to sink.  She was in trouble.  Probably.  This was like being sent to a principal’s office.  She guessed.  Audrey had never had a principal, except for the one year in London, and he was technically a _headmaster._ Still, she’d never had a problem with behavior, and had kept to herself for the most part.  

“Director,” she responded politely.  

Fury dismissed Caroline and the assistant, a lanky man with a serious countenance.  Then he turned to her and asked, “How is Captain Rogers doing?”  

“Fine, sir,” she answered.  “I’ve been slowly introducing him to contemporary technology.”  

“You get to MP3 players yet?”  

This felt like a trap.  He was too conversational.  Even so, Audrey answered, “Not yet, Director.”  Then, in a risky move she would regret instantly, she blurted, “Why am I here, sir?”  

The calm visage slid from her boss’s face.  Fury glowered at Audrey.  Well.  Maybe he wasn’t glowering, per se, but from Audrey’s spot eight inches below him, it sure seemed like it.  “I want to talk to you about the Avengers Initiative,” he said.  “More specifically, the Captain’s place in it. And yours.”  

“My—? I thought that was scrapped?”  

“It was.  But with the discovery of your father, the World Security Council might be persuaded to reopen it.”  

Audrey frowned.  Last she’d heard, an alien attack in Puente Antiguo had been the reason for the Avengers Initiative being tossed.  The team of extraordinary people had always been an idea, first pioneered by Howard Stark, approved by Peggy, and passed down as a concept but never actually completed.  After the attack, though, SHIELD had decided to move onto Phase 2—an armory.  Something caught her attention, though.  In his earlier words.  “The Captain’s place?” she inquired.  “ _My_ place? What’s _my_ place?”  

“You were on the list, Carter.”  

Wait, _what?_

(Audrey was suddenly overcome with deja vu.  It seemed that _wait, what_ was a common occurrence recently).  

“I was?”  She’d been on the list?  How hadn’t she known before today?  Audrey remembered doing paperwork regarding the Initiative, but it never concerned her.  

Fury turned on his heel and began to take long strides towards the conference table off toward the side of the room.  Audrey felt compelled to follow, her shorter legs taking more staccato steps.  When he reached the table, he picked up a remote and activated the screen.  Four faces appeared on the screen—her own, James Rhodes, Natasha Romanoff, and Clint Barton.  Audrey knew of Natasha, and she’d met Clint once or twice in the break room after debriefings (where he’d hogged all of the coffee and pissed off Caroline).  Rhodes had never crossed paths with her, but Audrey had seen him on the news a couple of times after Tony had almost blown something up in the process of saving the world, which was something that happened more and more often after the Iron Man reveal.  Fury tapped a sensor on his keyboard and two more faces popped up on the screen: Steven Grant Rogers and Anthony Stark.  

“These are the Avengers?” she asked.  “I’m… an Avenger?” she asked, and the foreign words rolled around on her tongue like the time she’d tried alcohol for the first time, unfamiliar and stinging her the skin on the inside of her cheeks.  She twisted up her face, because that was the oddest thing she’d ever spoken, which said something, because _hello mom, how did the assassination go?_ had spilled from her lips a dozen times in her life.  Audrey repeated the words, but differently.  “I would’ve been an Avenger,” she remedied.  “If the Avengers existed, I would’ve been one of them.”  

“Yes,” Fury answered with a nod.  To Audrey’s surprise and suspicion, he didn’t seem hell-bent on terrifying her for once.  Instead, with his hands folded behind his back, he turned to her seriously and uttered, “I need you to make sure the Captain’s ready.  If I need to call him back in, he needs to be prepared.”  

Audrey opened her mouth.  “Ahm.”  She really didn’t want Fury to be pissed off at her, she really really didn’t want to say something to get him angry, but also, was he _crazy?_ Her job was to adjust Steve Rogers to life in the twenty-first century.   _Not_ to prep him for another battle.  “Is that a good idea?” she inquired, choosing her words carefully and still almost regretting them.  “I mean, he just woke up.  Shouldn’t we give him time before throwing him back into a fight?”  

“Those are orders,” Fury answered, features deflating from something around neutral to a full-on scowl.  

Audrey sighed.  “Yes sir,” she responded.  

“Good.  Dismissed.”  

* * *

 

Steve was not where Audrey had expected to find him.  When she’d knocked on his apartment door for a few minutes and gotten no answer, she took out the app SHIELD installed to let her track his phone, which he thankfully hadn’t ditched somewhere.  A taxi ride and some mild confusion later, she found herself in front of an old boxing gym.  The sign outside said it belonged to Lou Gibson, and as far as Audrey knew, Steve hadn’t made acquaintances with anyone named Lou, nor had he made time to sign up for a gym membership.  So.  

She swung the door open—a real door, which a knob that twisted instead of a handle to push open, and followed a staircase to a basement level.  As she passed the abandoned front desk, she really hoped that Steve hadn’t gotten himself kidnapped.  No offense to Captain America, or anything, but he seemed like kind of a trouble magnet.  

As Audrey approached the rings, she heard a low thumping noise.  It wasn’t until the giant leather punching bag flew across the room and into the wall that she comprehended what was happening.  “Holy crap!” she exclaimed before she could stop herself.  “Jesus Christ,” she added, for good measure.  

Steve’s gaze fell from the fallen bag, drifting over towards her.  

“Hi,” she said.  “Uh, nice place you got here.”  

A beat passed, where he seemed to be analyzing her motives.   _Two steps forward, one step back._ Steve nodded.  “Thanks.  I just bought it.”  

“You _bought it?”_

Her jaw hung slightly open, probably unprofessionally and definitely not empathetically.  He’d just… bought a gym?  A vintage gym.  He’d just decided to spuriously treat himself to a _gym?_

Once she initial shock passed, Audrey was oddly zen about the idea.   _Okay.  Fine_.  Whatever helped him.  If destroying punching bags was going to be a therapeutic experience, she should encourage it.  As long as he didn’t get too intensive with the retail therapy, SHIELD wouldn’t be bothered.  

“That’s… an interesting choice.  Why’d you buy it?” she asked, poking at the new bag he’d hung up while she’d mulled the whole thing over.  

Steve shrugged.  “It feels familiar.”  

“That’s a good reason.”  And it was.  Familiarity was good.  The fact that he was being honest with her was _good_.  This was all good.  Good.  Good good good.  

“What’s good?” Steve questioned, giving her a funny look.  

“Did I say that out loud?” Audrey asked.  He nodded.  “I do that sometimes.  Sorry.  Ignore me.”  

Steve shook his head, almost amused.  “It’s okay.  You probably inherited that from me.”  

“I’m not sure it’s a heritable trait,” Audrey replied, taking a seat next to him on the bench and resting her hands on her knees.  “But even if it was… you say stuff out loud on accident?  That doesn’t sound like a good skill for a World War II hero to have.”  

“Not me,” he said.  “My mom used to, though.  Do you know anything about her?”  

Audrey shook her head.  “Not really.  Mom tried to tell me whatever she could but she couldn’t… find much.  I think that was it.  Your mom had a pretty thin file.”

He avoided eye contact with her—not at all subtly, Audrey might add—but he began to tell her things about Sarah Rogers.  Everything from, “She used to work in the tuberculosis ward, when nobody else wanted to,” to “She saved up for a month to buy blue paint for our apartment, and it made her so happy.”  Audrey listened keenly to everything he said, about how she’d never stopped believing in him, even when he was skinny and sick, about how she’d sung Irish lullabies to him as a kid that he forgot the words to but sometimes remembered fragments of the tune.  

Then, she told him about what Peggy was like as a mom.  How she made up lullabies because she couldn’t recall any of the ones her mother had taught her, and the woman herself had begun to lose her memory.  How she never sacrificed being an agent or a mother, just accepted a little help.  The more Audrey talked, the more Steve looked at peace.  

The two settled into a comfortable silence of common ground for the first time.

Eventually Audrey stood up, jabbing lightly at the bag again.  

Steve watched her for a moment, and then asked, “Who taught you how to fight?”

Audrey shrugged.  “Same person who taught you.”  

“Peggy?”  

“Yup.”  Audrey pivoted, delivering a swift kick to the bag with the top of her foot.  It shuddered under the force of the blow.  “I can box too, I mean, not like you were doing with the whole bag exploding and flying across the room, but I can box.” She demonstrated by jabbing the bag again, not nearly as hard as she was capable of, but still using a decent amount of strength.

“Did she ever show you, the uh, the spin move?”   

Audrey thought back to her mother’s fighting, the lessons as a six-year-old (eighteen-year-old?) when she was being taught basic self defense.  “The kick one, or the jump one?”

“The jump, I think,” Steve replied.  “Where she’d flip over in the air and spin to avoid being kicked.”

“Oh!  I remember that one, but I don't think I ever learned.  I was too little to jump high enough.”  

Steve stood up and stepped into a fighting stance. “It's not too hard,” he said.  “As an afterthought, he added, “Not for people like us, at least.”  Audrey raised an eyebrow at the _people-like-us_ comment, wondering if it meant he knew others like him, or if he'd started associating the two of them together at some point yesterday. “You just—” He grunted as he kicked his legs out so he was in a straight line suspended midair, then tucked his hands up at opposite shoulders in a strangely corpse-like fashion. As he did so, he spun around once, twice, _thrice_ , before dropping solidly onto the mat with a thump, leaving Audrey both awed and giddy. The awe, of course, was from seeing someone else fight the same way as her mother, but the giddiness came entirely from it being her _dad._

Audrey clapped her hands together in front of her mouth to hide her grin. “Oh my _god._ I wanna learn that.”  She stuck a hand out and he took it, pulling to his feet and looking a little surprised when the force of his weight didn’t dislocate her arm.  

He smiled back. “I'd teach you, but uh, another time. When you aren't wearing a pantsuit.”  

She scanned her outfit quickly, only just realizing the office apparel. “That's a good point. I had a meeting with Fury today.”  She wondered if she was allowed to tell Steve what Fury had told her, just to be honest with him. But then, it hit her that he probably wouldn't want to know. Or at least, his life would be significantly less stressful if he didn’t.  Instead of explaining what the meeting was about, she said, “That’s why I’m in a suit.”  She couldn’t help herself when the next words slipped out of her lips.  “Do you think you’d ever go back to the field?  Like, would you ever want to?”  

Clearly taken aback, Steve broke eye contact and went back to fiddle with the hook on the punching bag.  Audrey knew that she hadn’t been in the right asking him, she wanted to swallow the words down and forget about them, cheeks tinging pink.  “Uh, I’m not sure,” Steve answered truthfully.  

“Right.  Sorry.  I shouldn’t have asked.”  Audrey bit her lips together again and they avoided eye contact for a few more beats.  “I’m hesitant to leave you alone at the risk of coming home to find out that you bought a mall or something, but I’m gonna have dinner with Josh tonight, so we can hang out until around eight, but then I have to head back to  my place.”  

Steve turned to her.  “Okay,” he affirmed, then started to scratch behind his neck.  “Uh, you’re not expecting me to… to meet him, or anything, right?  Because I’m not… ready.  For that.”  

“Oh god no,” Audrey assured him, having not even considered him trying to introduce himself.  Now that he’d stated his position as decidedly _not_ in favor of that, she felt relief in waves.  “I mean, you can meet him at some point if we’re still together, but he doesn’t… _know_ about me.  Being a SHIELD agent.  Or a partial super-soldier.  Or someone who qualifies for a senior discount.”  

At that, Steve frowned.  “‘If you’re still together?’” he repeated.  “It’s not serious.”  

Well, this had gotten deep.  “I mean—”  Audrey hesitated, wrinkling her forehead.  “How do I say this?  Uh.  I like dating him.  He’s a good guy and I’m happy with him, but we couldn’t ever get married.  He’d age and I wouldn’t.  I mean, even dating him for more than five years would push it, since he’d probably notice that I’m still… younger.  I don’t know.  It’s just complicated with the aging.”  

Steve’s face was set into a deep frown and he nodded, but he didn’t seem like his whole focus was on Audrey.  With a quiet start, she realized that he might’ve been considering how he and her mom could’ve moved on after the war.  The way he traced his ring finger lightly and bit down on the inside of his cheek.  Even if the plane hadn’t crashed, would they have stayed together?  Probably.  For a bit, because of her, but how would Steve have taken watching Peggy grow old and begin to succumb to the way it affected her brain?  How would a traditional family have affected Peggy’s career?  Maybe not much—nothing could tear her away from the field, but if she’d had roots in Brooklyn would she have saved the world from Whitney Frost in Los Angeles?  

The idea of having her parents together was appealing to Audrey, but she realized with a melancholic epiphany that even if they’d been able to stay together after the war, she never would’ve had a normal family.   _What’s done is done._ There was no point in dwelling on a hypothetical, no matter how tempting.  

“He doesn’t know you’re an agent?” Steve asked her.  Audrey shook her head.  “He should know,” Steve blurted, then gritted his teeth.  “I’m sorry.  It’s not my job to tell you what to do.  Forget I said anything.”  

“Sure,” Audrey answered, “No problem.”  But his words remained an echo in her head.  She only took them into consideration, though, because she knew they were true, she’d thought about it before, in the two months they’d been together.  Her boyfriend should know that he was dating a secret agent.  It was only fair that way.  “Do you wanna take a walk?  We can go back to your apartment, I printed out a timeline of events from 1945 to 2010, with  annotations to things mom and I have done.  And there’s a bakery I want to stop at, they’ve got the best cupcakes in the world.”

“Don’t have much of a sweet tooth,” Steve warned her.  “Spent so much time eating rations in the army.”  

Audrey waved him off.  “Just try them.  Maybe you'll be surprised.”  

* * *

Five hours, a baker's dozen of red velvet cupcakes, and two movies later, Audrey found herself heaving off the floor and grabbing her bag. “I wish I could stay longer,” she told Steve apologetically. “Tomorrow we’ve got all day. We can go to a museum or watch more movies, or like, go running or something. Hopefully you don't want to do that all day, but if you do, then uh, sure?”  She made a face. “The point is, I have no plans for tomorrow.”

Steve nodded, going ahead to open the door for her. “Sure. And, uh, maybe we could go out to lunch. And then a movie in the theater?”  Sheepishly, he looked down. “I need something kinda familiar. And since everything I knew has changed for the most part...”  

“Of course!” Audrey answered, too quickly and probably too eagerly. This assignment had morphed from a slightly more personal than usual recovery case to something she felt herself anticipating. She wanted to know who her dad was.

Audrey thought back to the attack hug she’d graced him with yesterday, something that happened out of left field and definitely hadn't been planned.  She wished she’d seen his reaction, so she could decipher how he’d respond to her hugging him again.

_Nope,_ she told herself. “I'll see you tomorrow, Steve,” she said, patting down the jacket she had draped across her left forearm. “Have a good night,” she waved, then stepped away and down the hallway towards the elevator. The door didn't click shut immediately so Audrey made sure to keep a straight posture. It was only when the elevator doors opened that she heard the door lock, and cast a look over her shoulder at his now-closed apartment. She pulled her gaze away as she stepped inside.

* * *

When Audrey threw her apartment door open a little after nine, she found Josh waiting on the couch wearing a grin and organizing the takeout boxes that littered the table. She dropped her purse on the floor with a thud and relaxed her shoulders as Josh stood to greet her.

“How was your day?” he asked.

“Long,” she returned.  He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, and for a second, it didn’t really matter that he didn’t know who she really was.  She felt safe.  

But did she value safety over honesty?  Could safety exist without honesty?  Her stomach churned at the idea of her job putting him in danger, even if she never worked the field.  

“Well, it’s over now.  I got fried rice.”  

Audrey smiled gratefully, but as if just to spite her, the phone in her bag rang at that very moment.  “ _Almost_ over,” she clarified, pulling away and reaching down to grab it.  She lifted it up to stare at the number of the incoming call, which just flashed **SECURE** across her screen.  When she lifted it up and greeted the other person with a “hello?” she got a very stoic reply.  

“Agent Carter?” Coulson greeted.  

“Speaking,” she answered, as she’d been taught to when addressed.  

“I need you to remain on stand-by.  There’s a possible emergency.”  

“What’s happening?” she asked, confusion seeping into her voice.  

“That’s all I can release to you at the moment.”  

“Wait.”  Audrey’s eyes slid over to Josh, who was giving her a worried look from the corner of her eye.  “One second.”  Then, to Josh, she said, “I’ll be right back,” and dashed into her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.  As soon as it was shut, she stepped away and in a low voice muttered, “Coulson, I’ve got higher clearance than you do.”  

“Fury doesn’t want me to tell you what it is until he’s sure we should be concerned.  In the event that it _is_ going to be an issue, we’ll need to reach you immediately.  Director’s orders.  I’m sorry.”  

Audrey blew out a breath, knowing that was the end of the conversation.  No more protesting.  “Fine.  Update me as soon as possible.”  

Even as she sat on the couch and ate the dinner and talked to Josh, Audrey found her focus on the cellphone in her pocket.  It wasn’t until after one that she got another call.  

“This is an emergency,” Coulson said immediately, voice drowning in the sound of a chopper.  “Barton and a dozen other agents have been compromised, and we’ve got issues with the Tesseract.”  

“The tessa what—?”

“Nat’s in Calcutta right now, recruiting Banner, and I’ve got Stark.  But you need to get Captain Rogers.  This is the Avengers Initiative, and it’s coming into play.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy crap everyone! The response from you guys is still blowing my mind, I love you all so much. Seriously. It's amazing. The Avengers timeline got bumped up a little to this chapter, because I was anxious to get to the plot. As always, feel free to check out [the tumblr](http://audreycarterrogers.tumblr.com) for more content! Shoutout to CatrinaSL on tumblr for betaing this and making it something understandable, as well as to Quinn for dealing out plot advice! 
> 
>  
> 
> Please leave a review on the way out! They mean the world to me, and if you've got a fic you want me to check out, feel free to send it my way. <3 
> 
>  
> 
> _Chapter Four: For Posterity (and Tony Stark)_
> 
>  
> 
> _Well, Audrey thought to herself. It's not every day that your boss fanboys over your dad._


	4. For Posterity (and Tony Stark)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Audrey meets Natasha Romanoff, Steve meets Darcy Lewis, and the Rogers family prepares to meet their newest enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **trigger warnings** : usage of the words 'nazi' and 'alien.'

Steve looked surprised when Audrey rushed into the gym at two a.m., dressed in a grey skirt and a pink button down shirt.  He  _ didn’t  _ look surprised when she explained why she was there.  

“A mission?” he asked, curious but not shocked.  

“The tesseract,” Audrey answered, pushing a file towards him.  “It’s —”

“HYDRA’s secret weapon,” he finished, flipping through the sheets inside.  

Audrey hadn’t had a clue what the tesseract was, and Coulson was already on his way to Stark Tower, which meant that he couldn’t take the time to explain, leaving her to get dressed, head over to the SHIELD base, pick up the file, take the train back to Brooklyn, and then find Steve at the gym.  The bags under her eyes were bigger than her eyes themselves, at this point.  It had been a while since she’d had good sleep.  She didn’t see any in the near future, with all the research she would have to be doing on the object.  

It seemed that Steve knew about the cube, though.  “Yeah,” she confirmed, somewhat taken aback by his familiarity with it.  “Howard found it in the ocean when he was looking for you.  It was supposed to be a sustainable energy source, but, uh, it was stolen a few hours ago, from the base where it was being studied.”  

“By who?” Steve asked her, eyes moving up from the file to her face as he handed it back.  

“Some dude named Loki.  He’s kind of.  Um.  An alien, which I will explain later.  He had a scepter, according to the reports, and he managed to brainwash a dozen agents in under five minutes.  He’s also taken control of Dr. Erik Selvig, who was one of the few people who understood the way the tesseract worked.”  She took a breath.  “It’s looking pretty bleak.”  As an afterthought, she added, “You don’t have to sign on.  You’ve done enough for the world already.  But, um, any help is important to us.”  

“‘Us’?” Steve questioned.  “Are you a part of this team?”  

Audrey shrugged, opening her mouth and then clicking it shut.  “Well...” she started, voice about an octave higher than normal.  “I mean, technically yes, but I didn’t find out until yesterday that I was supposed to be.  I’m only signing on now because it’s kind of a disaster right now in HQ.”  She didn’t say anything about how it was her first field mission.   _ Ever.   _ Or the armada of butterflies in her stomach that seemed more like fighter jets zooming around.  People were more likely to trust what she said if she gave off them impression that she was confident about it and knew what she was talking about.  In this case, only the latter was true.  

“Your meeting with Fury,” he surmised.  “He mentioned me doing field work, didn’t he?”  

She really regretted asking him about a future as an agent directly after mentioning the meeting.  She hadn’t made it difficult  _ at all  _ for him to figure it out.  With so many years of experience under her belt, that was kind of embarrassing.  “Um,” Audrey replied, rather eloquently.  “Yeah.  He did.”  The utter conflict painted on Steve’s face left some rotting guilt in Audrey’s core.  “Listen, it’s your choice whether or not you want to join.  I’ll leave a debriefing packet with you, and you can look it over.  Just...just call me by six, okay?  I’ll pick you up if you’re in.  But if not, I won’t hold it against you.”  

Steve took a long exhale.  “Okay.  Thanks.”  

Audrey smiled.  “No problem.  I’ll talk to you in a few hours.”  

* * *

“Stop fretting, darling,” Peggy Carter soothed over the phone.  Audrey had a cup of coffee in her hand as she paced back and forth in her apartment’s living room.  The clock on the wall flashed  _ 5:05 _ , less than an hour away from the deadline.  

When she’d told Steve that he didn’t have to join, she’d kind of...  uh… taken control of the mission.  And defied orders.  Because her orders had been to recruit Steve, and if he decided to avoid the fight, Fury might decide to kill her, which she’d lamented to Peggy just moments ago.  

“That man never could run away from a fight,” her mother said quietly, tone nostalgic.  “He won’t run away from this,” she assured Audrey confidently.  

And while Audrey knew that this was true, that Steve Rogers had a history of always wanting to fight, so much had changed, and maybe the way the world was today would change him too.  Maybe he was tired of sizing up an enemy and losing people to war.  What if he just said  _ no? _  It was making her anxious.  She downed another gulp of coffee.  

There was still a chance he’d call, though.  He had another hour, and for him, it had only been a few weeks since he was fighting.  But then, it had also only been a few weeks since he lost Bucky, and mere days since he’d put the plane down, prepared to lose himself.  

“Okay,” Audrey answered shakily.  “Right, right.”  

“I can tell that you don’t believe me,” Peggy pointed out.  “He’ll come around.  Just watch.  I—no, Eleanor, just a moment,” her voice broke off as she spoke to someone else.  “It’s breakfast time, darling.  I’ll talk to you soon.  I love you.”  

“Love you too.”  

_ Click _ .  

Audrey collapsed onto her couch, tossing the phone aside and finishing her coffee.  She was screwed if Steve decided he wasn’t interested.   _ Screwed.   _ Like, Fury might actually find a way to fire her before banishing her to the arctic tundra kind-of-screwed.  So.  That was fun.  

Another twenty minutes passed before her phone began to ring.  In the frenzy to reach it on the carpet, Audrey managed to knock all the books on her living room table away, as well as the picture frame on the end table.  It didn’t break, thank god, but she had not a second to dwindle on it as she threw forward her hand to grab the phone from the floor.  Hitting the green  _ accept call  _ button, she lifted it to her ear.  

“Hello?” she breathed into the microphone.  

“I’m in,” Steve answered.  

Audrey let out a deep breath.   _ Oh thank god.   _ The waves of relief were like a tsunami.  She did her best to sound calm and collected as she replied, “Okay.  I’ll swing by now.  Pack a bag.  You’ve got twenty minutes.”  

* * *

An hour later found Audrey, Steve, and Coulson on a quinjet to an undisclosed location.  As much as she’d badgered him for their destination, the other agent refused, citing Fury’s need-to-know policy.  It seemed like now warranted needing to know, but pestering him for twenty minutes yielded no results, so she’d reluctantly sat back in her seat, eyes drawn closed and seatbelt buckled across her lap in an attempt to catch a few minutes of rest.  When Coulson had begun to brief them, however, she’d had to pry her eyes open to pay attention.  

Now, Steve was glancing down at a severely modern tablet, with a transparent screen and a few holographic features.  Audrey furrowed her brow at it, watching as Coulson briefed them on the new members of the Avengers.  Natasha Romanoff and Clint Barton: partners, master assassins, and as of now, fractured.  Clint’s location was unknown, and had been ever since the base where the Tesseract was being held had collapsed.  SHIELD was pretty sure he was still alive, which, to be fair, made sense to Audrey.  If Loki had total control over such an asset, it made no sense to kill him.  Especially not when he was just getting started.  

Steve hadn’t had time to take a clearance test, but Audrey guessed he was at least level 7, since that was the clearance level required to actually know about his own existence.  However, Coulson didn’t bother going into Natasha’s past.   _ That  _ required a level nine at least.  

“Hawkeye,” Steve read off the tablet.  “Clever.”  

“Then there’s Stark,” Coulson introduced, sending a knowing look to Audrey.  “In charge of Stark Industries, and Howard’s son.  He’s kind of a egomaniac, but a genius too.”  

“Just like his father, then?” Steve asked, looking up from the device for confirmation.  

Before she could reason that it was a bad idea, Audrey jumped to Tony’s defense.  “He can seem conceited at times, but he’s not that bad.  He’s kind of sweet, deep down.”  

“ _ Really _ deep down?” Coulson asked.  

Well.   _ Yes _ , but agreeing would kind of contradict her entire point.  “I’ve spend more time with him than you have,” she settled diplomatically.  To Steve she said, “He’s an acquired taste.”  

That morning, actually, Tony had texted her demanding that she send him a picture of Steve.   _ For posterity _ , he’d sworn.  

“Well, personality issues aside, the suit is a pretty big development technologically,” Coulson added, steering them back on track.  “It’s an asset.  Stark’s a consultant, and we want to keep him on our side.”  

Generally, Audrey either knew or knew  _ of  _ the people on the team, with the exception of Dr. Banner.  

“So this guy was trying to replicate the super soldier serum?” Steve asked, as the file changed from Tony’s to the scientist’s.  

“A lot of people tried to replicate the serum,” Coulson answered, and then gestured towards Audrey.  “That’s why Agent Carter had to be raised quietly.  To keep Peggy Carter’s enemies from trying to hunt her down, or to prevent Nazi sympathizers from kidnapping her or experimenting on her.”  Audrey bit the inside of her cheek to keep from reminding him of the time when she  _ was  _ kidnapped.  Once, as a small baby, by a crazy scientist hell-bent on reviving HYDRA.  Her mother hadn’t told her, but when Audrey read her own file and discovered the incident, Peggy had shakily recounted the events to her, calling them  _ the most terrifying thing I’ve ever experienced.   _

_ Scarier than the war?  _ Audrey had asked.  

_ A thousand times worse, _ Peggy had answered, carding a hand through her hair.  Audrey remembered her mom staying in her room that night, one of the first clear memories she had.  

“Banner thought that gamma radiation might hold the key to unlocking Erskine’s formula,” Coulson continued, dragging Audrey out of her thoughts.  

A monstrous roar burst from the tablet’s speakers.  “Didn’t really go his way, did it?” Steve asked, eyes on the news footage where the Hulk had begun to pummel Harlem.  His comment elicited a snort from his daughter.  

“Not so much,” Coulson answered.  “When he’s not green, though, the guy’s like a Stephen Hawking.”  

Steve frowned.  

“Stephen Hawking is a genius,” Audrey explained.  “He was a leader of research on cosmology—space stuff.  I’ll show you more about it later.”  

Seeming satisfied, Steve nodded.  “Okay,” he said.  

Silence reigned over the space for a moment, nothing but the steady humming of the jet’s engine and the radio tower communicating with the pilots.  

Then, “I gotta say.  It’s an honor to meet you,” escaped from Coulson’s lips.  Audrey’s jaw dropped a little bit in surprise, because even though she knew about his admiration for Captain America, she never thought he’d actually bring it up in front of him.  He’d always seemed too much of a stone-cold professional.  Quickly, Coulson added, “...officially.”  

A small smile tugged at the corners of Steve’s lips, and Audrey had trouble deciphering if it was a polite gesture or genuine gratitude for his kindness.  

“I sort of met you,” Coulson continued.  “I mean, I watched you while you were sleeping.”  

Aaannddd, just as soon as the smile appeared, it slipped away, replaced by a look of unnerved concern.  Steve tried to mask the discomfort, but didn’t succeed.  Not from where Audrey was sitting, at least.  

_ Well _ , she thought to herself,  _ it’s not every day that your boss fanboys over your dad.   _

Coulson fumbled through an attempt to remedy how  _ creepy  _ his last statement had been, and Audrey made a note to use this as blackmail the next time he denied her a fifth or sixth cup of coffee.  Steve stood up to take a look out the front window.  

“It’s really an honor to have both of you on board,” the other agent finished.  “We’ve had the best staff possible working to recreate your uniform, Captain.  I had a little, uh, design input.”  Audrey almost burst out laughing at the way Coulson swelled with pride, clearly excited to be involved in the process.  How had she spent  _ years  _ working with this guy, and still never discovered that he was this much of a dork?   _ Honestly.   _

But then, she processed his words.  “A uniform?  Like, uh, a costume?  With the stripes and everything?”  

“Yeah,” Steve agreed.  “Aren’t the stars and stripes a little… old fashioned?”  

Coulson shrugged a little.  “With everything that’s happening right now, the things that are about to come to light, people might just need a little old-fashioned.”  

A heavy silence sat over them for a moment, in which Steve looked fairly contemplative and Coulson looked slightly worried.  

“Two minutes to landing, sir,” one of the pilots informed Coulson.  

“Get ready,” he told them. Audrey leaned over for her duffle bag, clutching the handle in her fist as the jet began to land on… an island?  That’s what it looked like, judging by the whole  _ surrounded by water on all sides  _ thing.  A completely paved island.  With steep, symmetrical edges.  

Probably not an island, then.  

It was too big to be a ship, so Audrey was at a loss for possibilities.  

A door slid down into a ramp, so Coulson and Steve began to step off the jet.  Audrey wobbled down the ramp in her pumps, exiting  just in time to catch her dad address a redhead woman as “Ma’am.”  It didn’t take her long to realize that she was Natasha Romanoff.  She was surprisingly small, for someone so dangerous.  Audrey had at least three inches on her excluding her shoes, but still felt like she was being sized up by a predator when they greeted one another.  

“Hi,” she returned, then jutted her chin out to greet Audrey.  “Agent Carter.”  

“Agent Romanoff,” Audrey replied.  

“You’re the legacy, huh?  Heard a lot about you.”  She kept her face blank, but Audrey could sense the gears whirring in her head.  Not exactly from seeing it, more from her reputation.  Audrey wasn’t sure how she felt about being called a legacy.  It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, and it was fairly honest.  If not for her parentage, she would’ve had opportunities for other jobs aside from SHIELD.  Though, she  _ did  _  wonder if the assassin meant it in her mother or her father’s case.  Turning to Coulson, Romanoff spoke, “They need you on the bridge.  They’re about to start the face scan.”  

He excused himself, leaving Natasha alone with Audrey and Steve.  

“There was quite a buzz around here about finding you in the ice,” Romanoff addressed Steve.  “I thought Coulson was gonna swoon.  Did he ask you to sign his trading cards yet?”  

Steve frowned.  “Trading cards?” he asked, but the way he turned to Audrey told her that the question was meant for her to answer.  

“Yeah,” she answered.  “Um, there’s a pretty… vast… collection of Captain America merchandise.  Like, kids dress up for Halloween and stuff.  And there are lots of t-shirts.  And a radio show in the forties, where Captain America would save  _ Betty Carver’s _ life a lot.” 

Steve made a face. Audrey couldn’t help but agree.  

“But ever since Tony and his suit became a thing you’ve kind of faded in popularity.”  It didn’t seem like that would be news to devastate, but Audrey added, “I’m sure once the news of you still, uh, you know, being alive comes up, you’ll probably be made more famous.”  

“That’s not something SHIELD’s planning on releasing to the public any time soon, though,” Natasha discouraged quickly.  

Steve smiled but furrowed his brow, like the news of his popularity so far after his pseudo-death was both simultaneously flattering and discomforting.  His show-man days were long over, and she doubted he'd expected to still be any variation of a celebrity.  To be honest, Audrey almost feared what it would be like to be thrust into the spotlight the way he’d been.  Someone as awkward as she was would be  _ miserable  _ with that many eyes watching.  

Speaking of awkward, Audrey sidestepped a group of women running drills to catch sight of a familiar face across the runway.  Banner, who was nervously trying to avoid collisions with the people emerging left and right.  Audrey felt a stab of sympathy for the man, just from being able to relate to his unease.  

Her dad seemed to catch his eye at the same time, because he began to head over to greet him.  Audrey and Natasha followed in suit.  

“Dr. Banner,” Steve greeted, extending a hand.  

“Oh, yeah.  Hi.  They, uh, they told me you’d be coming.” 

He sounded  _ exactly  _ like Audrey.  She liked him already.  

“Agents,” he said, nodding slightly at Natasha and Audrey.  Both women nodded back, though Audrey’s smiley visage was significantly more friendly than Romanoff’s serious one.  

Steve began to talk to the doctor, but his words were lost on Audrey as Natasha asked her, “Have you ever thought about fighting with batons?”  

“Huh?” she asked gracelessly, because she’d never really thought about fighting with  _ anything _ besides her fists.  She hadn’t even been trained to handle a gun.  Batons were  _ wayyy _ out of her depth. 

“I’ve looked at your file,” Natasha elaborated.  “The way the serum’s effects kicked in.  The way you trained.  You’d probably be good with them.”  

“Really?” Audrey inquired cautiously.  “Um… why?”  

“Good muscle strength.  Increased agility.  You’re leaner than the Captain over there, so it would be easier for you to learn acrobatics.  I could help you learn the basics,” she counted off.  “I’m not as good with batons as Morse, but I like to think I’m still capable.  It would be interesting to train you, with the whole superhero ordeal.”  

In reply, Audrey said, “I’m sure you are.”  

The Black Widow wanted to teach her how to fight with batons.   _ Okay _ .  That wasn’t a big deal.  At all.   _ Definitely  _ not something she would call her mom to squeal about later.  It was probably more about Romanoff wanting to ensure that she wasn’t useless, and less about her desire to work with Audrey.  Nonetheless, it made her giddy.  

She wondered if she’d be this excited if she looked her age.  

Well, she probably wouldn’t have gotten this opportunity if she looked her age.  Not many sixty-four year old women were running around with batons in hand, kicking ass.  

The redhead smiled, looking down at the concrete and then back up.  Noticing the way people had begun to carry things inside and bolt down all the jets on the landing strip, Natasha addressed Steve and Doctor Banner.  “Gentlemen,  you may want to step inside in a moment.  It’s gonna get hard to breathe out here.”  

Wait,  _ what?   _ What the hell was this thing?  

Audrey stepped over towards the edge, careful not to get too close, to see a gigantic fan emerge from underwater.  

“Is this a submarine?” Steve asked.  

“They want  _ me _ in a heavily pressurized, metal container?” Banner inquired dryly.  

She shook her head.  “I don’t think so,” Audrey answered.  “Submarines go down, I think.... oh, just kidding, yeah, no.  We’re definitely going  _ up _ .”  

“Huh,” Banner remarked.  “Well then.  This is much worse.”  

_ Well then _ .  His cynicism didn’t exactly align with Audrey, but the discomfiture rang true in both cases.  She made a note to herself to try and get to know him better, because it seemed like he didn’t talk to that many people.  

On their way inside, Natasha kept Audrey engaged in conversation.  The blonde knew that she was being evaluated, sized up, pumped for information.  But she had nothing to hide, so she didn’t bother trying to lie.  This  woman was on her team now, and teams worked better with trust.  Still, she was surprised at Romanoff’s willingness to train her.  She’d have to get it cleared with Fury or Coulson or Hill, but she was ecstatic at the prospect.  Terrified, but giddy.  

And if the giant...plane/ship/island thing was impressive on the outside, it was  _ stunning  _ on the inside.  Dozens of agents in full uniform sat at desks spread out across a gigantic expanse of space at least the size of a city block.  Running between the clusters of workspaces was a bridge, and far enough down was Nick Fury, standing before a dozen or so consoles.  Straight ahead, the entire wall was window panelling, allowing Audrey to see out into the sky.  She’d never seen this much of a view before, not even on the jet on the way here, or in any of the plane rides she’d taken before.  Her jaw dropped as the machine began to climb higher and higher into the sky.  Her steps faltered, and Natasha stopped talking to let her react.  

“What is this?” she mumbled.  

“Helicarrier,” Natasha told her.  “Biggest flight device in the world, turns invisible, regulates itself at 30,000 feet.”  

“That’s cruising altitude,” Audrey realized, glancing over at her dad.  Considering the last thing he’d done in… the forties (his old life?  Now and then must’ve blended together so easily for him) was fly a plane, she wondered how he was faring.  Carelessly, she abandoned Natasha’s side to join Steve.  “You good?” she asked, making an attempt at casual.  

He nodded wordlessly, but seemed awed.  “This is wild,” he muttered.  

“I know, right?”  She took a breath.  “This isn’t normal, by the way.  This isn’t a normal thing that happens these days.”  

“That’s… that’s good.”  He stopped gawking at his surroundings for a moment to make eye contact with her.  “I can get used to a lot of things, but this might be difficult.”  

She snorted.  “Yeah…”  Audrey’s voice drifted off as she caught sight of a familiar face across the Helicarrier.  Darcy Lewis.  Before she could say hi, Fury stepped away from the consoles in the center of the bridge and greeted the incoming group.  

“Gentlemen,” he addressed Steve and Banner.  “Agent,” he said to her.  

“Director,” she replied, clasping her hands in front of her and shifting into a more professional version of herself.  

He nodded to someone behind them, then said, “Hello, Doctor Foster.”  Slightly more agitated, he followed with, “Miss Lewis.”  

Audrey turned around and smiled at the women, dropping her hands back to her sides.  Darcy gave a toothy grin and said, “Captain.”  

“Ma’am,” Steve replied automatically.  

But she wasn’t addressing Audrey’s father.  She was staring straight ahead.  At Fury.  Or more specifically, Fury’s  _ eye patch.   _ Audrey’s liking for Darcy increased immediately, solely based on the confidence with which she made a pirate joke about the most terrifying man in the room.  

“Doctor Foster is here to assist Doctor Banner in finding the cube,” Fury explained.  

“Your work on wormholes is incredible,” Banner told her.  

“Thanks.  I read your dissertation,?” Foster gushed.  “It was  _ fantastic. _ ”  

As the two scientists began to greet each other and talk with a now (even more) scowly Fury, Darcy noticed Steve and Audrey’s presence.  “ _ Oh _ ,” she said simply when she saw Steve.  “Holy crap.”  

Steve shifted awkwardly from one foot to another.  Audrey jumped in.  “Darcy, this is Steve, Steve, this is Darcy.”  She left out the last name part deliberately, because even though she’d been given high enough clearance to be on the ship, Audrey wasn’t sure if Fury wanted her to know about Captain America.  Briefly, she remembered reading that Darcy was a political-science major, which was all the more reason not to mention it.   She’d recognize the name instantly.  

Audrey had been working the New Mexico case, which unfortunately involved appropriating all of Jane Foster’s equipment and building a worksite around the satellite hammer that had crashed in the middle of the desert.  After it had all been over, culminating with a giant fire robot blowing up the small nearby town, S.H.I.E.L.D.’s apology gift had been a job opportunity for Jane, and upgrading Darcy to paid status.  

“Miss,” he said, extending a hand to shake just as Darcy said, “Steve.”  

Audrey watched the encounter with far more amusement than was her right.  She’d had  _ far  _ more cringeworthy conversations than this.  

Despite knowing that it would be better to remain quiet, Audrey continued, “Um, so, Steve is my—he’s a soldier.  Turned agent.  He’s, uh, shadowing me.  And Darcy is Jane Foster’s assistant.”  

In all honesty, that was the most convincing lie she’d ever told.  She wanted to pat herself on the back.  

“I feed Jane.  And make sure she sleeps.”  Suddenly realizing what she was saying, Darcy said, “Uh, nice to meet you.”  

“It’s my pleasure,” Steve insisted.  He noticed Coulson gesturing to him from across the room, and very regretfully apologized, “If you’ll excuse me.”  

Darcy nodded.  The nervousness faded from her face as he left, and she instead turned to Audrey, smiling and nudging her arm.  “Long time no see, huh?”  Then, quieter, she whispered, “Uh, they aren’t gonna make me wear one of those full-body suits, right?  Because I haven’t been to the gym in a few...years.  And I’m pretty sure they wouldn’t fit…” She drifted off, gesturing vaguely at her chest.  

“I don’t think so,” Audrey assured her.  “I mean.  Well.  You’ll just be in the lab, so it’s fine.”  

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day.  They didn’t even let me grab a coffee before they sent us to the airfield.  Isn’t that  _ ridiculous? _ ”  

SHIELD was known to be harsh at times, but this was, Audrey agreed, too much.  How do they demand such odd hours without supplementing caffeine?  She nodded furiously.  “I would help you get it, but—”   _ I don’t know where to find it.   _ The rest of her sentence was lost as Coulson called her over to start the facial scan.  “...but my boss is calling me.  If you ask someone and say it’s for Jane, the scientist about to save the world, I’m betting they’ll help you, though.”  

“Thanks, secret-agent-woman.”  Darcy winked as Audrey left.  The blonde laughed a little at the gesture, having almost forgotten for a moment that the world might be ending.  

She arrived at the scanning base and took a seat in the empty chair next to Agent Sitwell.  The man shot her a dry smile in greeting, probably forgetting that Audrey was his superior.  

“Sitwell,” she responded flatly.  He’d always been kind of a jerk.  Not quite an asshole, but definitely not the kind of person you tried to high-five.  Audrey knew from experience.  

“We’re sweeping every wirelessly accessible camera on the plant,” Coulson explained, arms crossed of his chest.  Cellphones, laptops.  If it’s hooked up to a satellite, it’s got eyes and ears for us.”  

“That’s not gonna find him in time,” Natasha interjected.  Audrey felt the impulse to defend her job, but also knew that scanning every mobile device in the world for a single person would be near-impossible.  

“You have to narrow the field,” Bruce agreed.  “How many spectrometers do you have access to?”  

Audrey had no idea what a spectrometer was, but she was open to learning if it meant they could catch Loki faster.  

While the group debated their options, Audrey turned her focus back to the computer.  She’d keep doing what she was doing until someone came up with a better idea.  

As she began to sift through the negative results, double-checking everything the computer spit out as a hypothetical, she began to wonder if Loki had the ability to disappear, the way the myths said he could.  She prayed not, otherwise this entire thing would be fairly pointless.  

Dozens of faces crossed the screen, while an image of Loki from security footage at the lab was centered between the computers.  He had long, dark hair and a cruel smirk.  

Audrey was familiar with face scanning.  She’d been an investigative agent since the mid nineties, and she’d been one of the first people to use it.  It was one of the easier techniques, but not quite the most effective.  Still, it outranked stakeouts on her list of personal-favorite-investigative-techniques.  Audrey filtered the settings a little, to adjust for a wider age range.  Most people began to look older when they got tired, and she assumed that the god they were hunting didn’t allot any hours for nap time.  It had been a decent amount of time since he’d been kidnapped, far longer than any human should be able to stay awake for.  

Well.  Any non-SHIELD-employed human.  

Loki’s settings were kind of a wild card.  He looked to be around thirty, but Jesus, he was at least a thousand years old.  The scanner usually identified the faces, cross-checked them with a birth certificate, and then spat out a positive or negative.  But Loki had no birth certificate.  For a second, Audrey wondered if the scanner would be able to find  _ her.   _ It would pick up her age as twenty-one, cross-reference with her birth certificate, and deduce that she was not the sixty-five year old in question.  Weird.  

The chiming sound that the speakers emitted signified a match, so Audrey clicked on the face it pulled up, and--yup.  Definitely Loki.  “We’ve got a match,” she announced, drawing the attention of Steve and Coulson.  

“Sixty-seven percent,” Sitwell relayed.  

“Seventy-nine,” Audrey corrected.  “Cross-match says seventy-nine.”  

“Location?” Coulson prompted.  

“Stuttgart, Germany,” she answered.  “Twenty-eight, Konigtrasse.”  

“He’s not exactly hiding,” Sitwell added, frowning worriedly at the computer screen.  

Audrey turned back to the result, mouth forming an  _ oh _  as her brows furrowed.  “Uhhh… that’s not good.  If he’s not hiding, I’m guessing he’s probably not afraid.  Which means he knows he’s got the upper-hand.”  

Fury nodded, then turned to Steve.  “Captain,” he commanded, “You’re up.”  Then to Audrey, “Suit up.  I want you on the jet with Natasha.”  

Uh,  _ wait.   _ “You mean—”  

He cut her off with a nod.  “You’re going with them.”  

Well.  That was fantastic.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m still so amazed by how much of a response this story has gotten! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed, and I'm shocked to say we've reached 100 kudos only three chapters in! I'm new to ao3, so I'm not sure if that's a lot by normal standards, but it's a lot by mine and I'm grateful for every single one. Your support feeds the muse and make me so, so happy. Shoutout to CatrinaSL for translating this story from gibberish to English. 
> 
> I’ve completed a lot of the coding for the tumblr, so everything is officially up and running! 
> 
> Again, thank you for the reviews and I’d love it if you left one on the way out. Here's a sneak peek of the next part! 
> 
>  
> 
> _Chapter Five: Like Father, Like Daughter_  
>  Audrey gritted her teeth, knowing she was making a stupid decision but decidedly making it anyway. “I’m going in.” 


	5. Like Father, Like Daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Audrey's an action girl (sort of), Tony Stark has terrible taste in music, and Loki's kind of an asshole.

As the engines of the quinjet hummed below their feet, Audrey and Steve sat facing each other on the opposite rows of seats.  In the front of the jet, Natasha Romanoff was piloting them to Stuttgart.  

This was the first time Audrey had ever dressed in tac gear.  The black, full-body suit clung to her body, and the helmet matted her hair to her head.  She wished she’d taken the time to pull it back, but had regrettably forgotten to before she’d pulled the helmet on.  Visor up, she found herself staring blankly forward, teeth clenched together.  There was no gun at her hip, just a taser (which had shown more effectiveness in stopping gods than bullets had, apparently).  

The suit was a little bit loose on her frame.  If she tried hard enough, she would be able to wiggle her arms into the torso area, like she’d used to do to all her sweatshirts, until her Peggy made her stop because she was stretching them out.  

It was also the first time she’d seen the Captain America costume in person.  When they’d cut Steve out of the original, she’d arrived to find him in the faux-SSR shirt and khakis, instead of in uniform.  The one he was in now seemed more fitted than the old one.  More animated.  

She hadn’t thought it possible, that the red, white, and blue stripes could get  _ more  _ animated, but somehow, they had.  

“Is this your first field mission?”  

Steve’s words shattered her thoughts.  “What?” Audrey asked.  Then, “Oh.  Uh, am I that obvious?” 

“You’ve got the same look as the new soldiers,” he answered quietly.  “You’re just on mission controls, right?”  

Audrey nodded.  When they’d gotten onto the jet, Natasha had told her that she probably wouldn’t need to go into battle unless it was an emergency, much to the blonde’s relief.  Usually, she couldn’t handle walking down a hallway without accidentally injuring herself somehow.  Much less fight a god.  Without any training.  That seemed like a very rash decision.  

“You’ll be fine,” Steve consoled.  “You’ve done this before, right?”  

Right.  She had.  Mission controls had been where she’d worked before her transfer to investigations.  “Yeah.”  

“You’ll be fine.  We’ll probably work better together.  We’ve got the same strengths.  We were trained by the same person.”  

Audrey wasn’t sure, in this moment, if his words were from Steve, her dad, or from Captain America, the soldier.  She knew there was a difference between the two, but dressed in the rebuilt uniform, without the cowl on, the two seemed to blend together.  

She nodded at him, because either way, the words were comforting.  “Can I ask you another question?” he prompted.  

“Go for it,” she answered, curiosity rising in her stomach.  

He hesitated, struggling to phrase his question.  “Why did you sign on?” he inquired finally.  “I mean, I know it’s your job, but why did you choose to come aboard instead of going to work on rescue?”  

Why had she come aboard?  No field experience, no combat experience aside from basic self-defense.  But she was was strong, and that could be put to more use in a confrontational setting than in a rescue one.  She was an asset.  “Because it was the right thing to do,” she answered.  “This is what mom would’ve done.”  It’s what he would’ve done.  

Her morals had been built so much around his memory, her parents were so similar to each other that Peggy always taught her what Steve would’ve done and then made the same decision without a second thought.  

“Two minutes out,” Natasha called back.  “Get ready, Captain.”  

She stretched her lips into a thin, obviously fake, smile.  “Good luck,” she wished him.  “Stay safe.  Mom’ll kill you if you die before she gets to see you again.”  The logic in the sentiment was skewed, but as Steve settled the cowl into place, he didn’t seem to mind, shooting her a genuine smile before he secured a parachute onto his back.  

“Yes ma’am,” he answered, before jumping out of the open jet door.  

Immediately, Audrey turned back to her computers, feelings slightly more in her element with her eyes on the fight from afar.  Through Steve’s body-cam, she could see Loki, standing in a golden helmet with… were those antlers?  Uh, okay.  Audrey had never taken down someone with  _ antlers _ before.  If she had a bucket list, she’d cross that off of it.  

Then suddenly, a blue shot of energy zipped toward the camera,  but before it could hit him, it was covered by the metal of his shield.  A loud  _ thwang _ ing sound rang through Audrey’s earpiece, and she flinched a little.  

“You know,” Steve started, his voice fuzzy.  “Last time I was in Germany and saw a man standing over everyone else, we ended up disagreeing.”  

He finally moved the shield aside to let Audrey lay eyes on a cowered-over Loki, who had his eyes closed and was lying on the ground.  Audrey figured that Steve was approaching him, judging by the way Loki began to fill up more and more of the frame.  She hoped to god that he wasn’t going to get himself murdered now, prayed that Loki wouldn’t jump up and stab him.  She hoped even more that if he  _ did _ , Steve would have the sense and reflexes to dodge the hit before it came.  

“The soldier,” Loki said menacingly, though, Audrey found it hard to be scared of him when he was wearing the stupid antlers.  

“We’re approaching, Captain,” Audrey informed Steve, glancing up at the map on the screen, which had Audrey, Nat, and Steve’s locations represented by dots over a street map of Struttgart.  “Thirty seconds.”  

Loki smirked in the camera screen.  “A man out of time.”  

If Steve was affected by the god’s words, he didn’t show it.  Actually, his next comment sounded cockier than anything he’d said before.  “I’m not the one who’s out of time,” he assured Loki.  

Audrey felt the jet turn as it aimed at the scene.  She counted back the steps of the plan in the millisecond before Natasha aimed the guns.  1. Steve would distract as Natasha flew the jet over to get a better angle, and defend civilians; 2. Audrey would guide Steve to the nearest clear exit route, to help him evacuate civilians; 3. Natasha would get Loki to surrender, they’d take him back, find the Tesseract, and everything would be peachy.  

That was not what happened, though.  Just as soon as Natasha’s voice boomed out a demand to drop the weapon, Loki decided to do, well, not that, and instead fire at the jet.  Audrey fell out of her chair as Natasha banked to the side to dodge the blast, just barely catching a glimpse of Steve’s next move as she went down.  When she climbed back into her seat Audrey discovered that he’d hurled his shield at Loki and caught it off the bounce.  People were running and screaming; a metal-gloved hand was coming up to punch Steve in the face, and combat had  _ definitely  _ not been a part of this mission before.  

Amongst all the chaos, it would be easier for Loki to make an escape.  The world spun as Loki’s scepter hit Steve in the stomach, sending him flying.  

That was it.  

Audrey reached over for a parachute, pulling it onto her back.  

“You going in?” Natasha shouted back at her.  There was no judgment in the words, no answer, no right or wrong.  

Audrey gritted her teeth, knowing she was making a stupid decision but decidedly making it anyway.  Steve never could run away from a fight, and apparently, neither could she.  “I’m going in,” she confirmed.  

Natasha nodded.  “Focus on escorting the civilians out.  Don’t engage in combat unless you have to.”  

Right.  She had instructions.  An objective.   _ Oh my god oh my god oh my god, what the hell are you doing, Carter?   _ And louder, more clear,  _ Mom is going to kill you when she finds out about this.   _ If.  If she found out about it.  

Oh, hell.  Who was Audrey kidding?  Peggy managed to know  _ everything.  I’m screwed _ , she thought.  

“Wait,” Natasha called out.  “Don’t take the parachute.  We aren’t high enough for it to work.  Are you in the boots?”  She twisted around to assess Audrey’s footwear, despite the blonde’s affirmative reply.  “The boots will absorb enough of the shock, but it’ll be better if you roll.  I’ll try and get us a little bit lower.”  

Well, now she was jumping out of a plane  _ without  _ a parachute, which was a million times dumber.  

There was no time to think, or she’d anxiously talk herself out of it.  People’s lives were at stake, and she would definitely survive the fall.  Whether or not she got injured was another story, but her a broken leg or a sprained knee wasn’t nearly as bad as a dozen casualties.  Audrey flipped down the visor on her helmet, made sure her laces were tied, and then jumped.  

Almost as soon as she was in freefall, Audrey wanted to scream, or cry, or cover her eyes and just let death take her, but she fought the urge.   _ You’re fine.  You’re fine.  You’re fine.   _ She did not feel fine.  She felt terrified out of her bloody mind.  

Mere seconds after she’d jumped, Audrey landed with a thud, throwing herself into a sloppy roll at the last second.  It left her sprawled out on the ground, but without too much pain in her legs.  She recovered quickly, flipping the visor back up and shouting, “Get out of the way!”  She waved, nudging and pushing people as she passed them.  “Get out of the way!”  

Behind them and to the right was a cluster of buildings, and straight ahead a burning police car blocked off the road.  Audrey read the street sign to the left and started to direct people down it.  

Thankfully, nobody had wanted to bring their children or their grandparents to the gala happening in the museum, where most of the crowd had been just minutes before.  A few older people struggled to keep up, so Audrey headed towards them, giving them a boost as she yanked them to safety.  One man cried out at the force, another winced.  “I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry,” she cried over and over again, as she pushed and pulled people to the clear.  “Run!” she shouted again.  “Go!  Take  _ Domshof! _ ”  She took a moment to pray that she was pronouncing it correctly, as hoards of people tripped over each other as they fled for their lives.  She, too, was about to make her escape when someone reached out with a scepter and walloped her in the stomach.   _ Wait, what?   _ Wasn’t Loki, like, over there?  Fighting Steve?  A quick look around yielded more Lokis, besides the one fighting her.  

_ One of the Lokis.  Oh my god.   _ There were six, forming a perimeter around the courtyard.  Audrey stumbled back as he raised a fist.  She had just enough time to slide her visor back in place before he backhanded her, sending her flying.  As if the pain from the blow weren’t enough, she hit the ground with a sickening thud, sending her nerves screaming up through her shoulders.  

She’d never been trained to box a god, before.  Just creepy old scientists and men who wouldn’t take a hint.  

That didn’t stop her, though.  Audrey’s self-preservation instincts kicked in as she lifted up her fists, squaring up.  One of Caroline’s sayings came to mind, something she mumbled before she jumped into every fight: _ come at me, bitch.   _

And, well, the bitch did.  With everything he had.  He blocked Audrey’s punches, kicked her aside like a rag doll.  She managed to get one hit into his nose, but it didn’t hinder him in the slightest.  

She felt nothing but an odd mix of regret and adrenaline.  The pain of every hit was lost on her momentarily as Audrey launched herself forward, fist flying out and catching him in the stomach.  

Loki let out a low, surprised  _ yowl  _ that sounded weirdly similar to the cat from Tom and Jerry.  Did that make her the mouse?  

Audrey didn’t dwell on this, instead pivoting on her foot and making a try for a roundhouse kick.  It hit him in his armored shoulder, and it hurt her foot more than it hurt him.  She hissed, hopping around on her functioning leg while the other was caught between two plates in his armor.   _ Why did I do this?   _ she wondered.   _ Why?   _

Without so much as blinking, Loki reached over, wrapped a fist around her ankle, and yanked her once to send her toppling to the ground.  She grunted as her spine made contact with the concrete, stunning her legs and rendering her immobile.  

So, uh, this had not gone well.  

Loki reached over with the pointed end of the scepter, holding it out to her throat.   _ Bloody hell, I’m going to die.   _ This was the end times for Audrey Carter Rogers.  Goodbye, legacy.  Goodbye, baton training.  Goodbye, visit to mom at the end of the month.  Because she was about to have her life taken from her by a man in antlers.  For a mere second, Audrey felt torn between closing her eyes and accepting her fate or trying to scrabble in defense and get her ass kicked again.  

The answer came to her quickly.  She was Peggy Carter’s daughter.  Captain America’s daughter.  

She was not going down without a fight.   _ Even  _ if it meant getting her ass kicked.  

“The little girl,” he murmured, hovering over her tauntingly.  “Your father would be so disappointed in you.”  

_ Please.   _ Audrey squirmed and slipped a hand up through the suit, then poked it out of the neckline, reaching out to rake her nails across his face.  Loki hissed, recoiling back.  She knew that one of them was a family disappointment, thanks to the info Thor had shared with Jane, but Audrey was confident that it wasn’t her.  

“You little—”

“ _ Too many women with too many pills…”   _

Both Audrey and her opponent’s gaze drifted away from each other, something she would remind herself of later, because at least she hadn’t been the only one distracted.  She kicked herself out from underneath Loki, taking advantage of his shift in focus, who she recognized without even looking at.  

_ “Shoot to thrill, play to kill…”   _

Tony Stark.  God.  Of all the bands from the eighties to latch onto as a teen, of course he’d picked AC/DC.  Why not Cyndi Lauper?  

Well, wait.  Busting into a battle with “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” blaring from the speakers might not be as intimidating to an enemy as “Shoot to Thrill.”  But  _ still _ .  There were other bands out there, with better music, and even though her hatred for AC/DC had formed twenty-something years ago, Audrey was not planning on letting it go soon.  

The red and gold suit dropped down a few feet away from her, sending out a blast that whammed the Loki pinning Steve.  It hit him in the chest and sent him toppling into a staircase across the street.  

She clutched her throat as the Loki she’d been sparring with faded away, leaving no trace of having been there.  Dear god, what was next?  Harry Potter showing up during a battle?  

As Tony aimed every single weapon in his suit at Loki, he commanded, “Make your move, Reindeer Games.”  

_ Thank god  _ someone else had called him out on the antlers.  

Audrey stumbled up from her spot on the ground, the bruises on her skin aching and throbbing as she went.  She dreaded unzipping the suit later.  It seemed like her entire body would be covered in blue and black.  She joined Tony and Steve in front of the god, who now held his hands up in surrender.  

“Good move,” Tony told him, then busied himself with securing an iron grip (ha  _ ha _ ) around Loki’s bicep and hauling him back to the jet.  Audrey flipped up her visor, feeling her left eye already swell up.  

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, as soon as he turned and noticed her.  “Jesus.  You were fighting?”  

She nodded, her throat suddenly dry.  

“I thought the plan had you staying in the jet! Is your mom going to kill me for this?”

She shrugged.  “The plan also had him surrendering as soon as we threatened him with a gun.  Not what we expected,” she rasped out.  He offered her an arm, gently guiding her back to the jet.  To keep him from fretting, Audrey assured him, “I’m fine.”  Of course, as soon as the words escaped her lips, she stubbed her toe on on the ramp into the plane, sending herself flying forward.  If it weren’t for Steve’s grip on her shoulder, she would’ve found herself lying face-down on the jet’s ramp, in front of the man who’d tried to kill her.   _ Figured _ that she was taken down by a slab of metal rather than a god.  In one of those situations, it was excusable to loste.  

As soon as she righted herself, Audrey insisted, “I just need water.  And some food, if I can find it.”   _ And time to sleep _ , she wanted to say, but Audrey knew that it wasn’t realistic.  

Tony had Loki cuffed, and his mask had slid up to uncover his face.  His face held no reaction when he greeted Audrey.  “That’s an interesting look you’ve got there.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone wear a jumpsuit like that.”  

The blonde glanced down at her suit, where her left arm was cradled to her stomach, but her right was sticking awkwardly out of her half-undone zipper.  The grey, unisex tank-top underneath covered up any of the bruises almost certainly littering her ribs, but it was still kind of funny-looking, even from this angle.  She pulled her arm back into the suit, wincing as it pressed against her bruised ribs.  Steve shot her a concerned look, and she shook her head slightly, to tell him she was fine.  

Audrey collapsed on a chair towards the back of the jet, praying that they’d let her rest on the way home.  No such luck.  Tony insisted on prodding her for information on Steve, even though the man was  _ right there, and he could probably ask him instead.   _ Even though Tony appeared to be twice her age, he was every bit the little brother she’d grown up with.  

When Tony finally left her alone, he began to pester Steve instead.  She felt bad, but her exhaustion outweighed her morals at this point.  If he didn’t speak like that all the time, Audrey would’ve suspected he’d been making so many pop-culture references on purpose, just to annoy her dad.

“It seems too easy,” Steve insisted.  “I don’t like it.”  

Audrey felt comfortable taking his word for it.  After all, Steve had more military experience than Audrey and Tony combined.  While she was observant, and had been alive for far longer, and Tony was probably the smartest person she knew, Steve understood war.  He’d been glaring at the god for almost the entire duration of the ride, and Audrey wasn’t sure if it was because of the injuries he’d sustained, or the one’s inflicted on her.  While she got the feeling that it was the latter, she didn’t quite know how she felt about someone being protective of her.   _ Yes _ , it was her dad, but she was a grown woman.  

It was a weird situation on both ends.  Really.  One for the papers, if SHIELD’s classification rules disappeared into thin air.  He was going with his gut instinct, to protect things that were important.  She didn’t want to assume anything, but maybe this meant that she was important to him.  It brought her some relief, considering she’d decided to care about him at some point in the last two days.  Decided to care enough that his suffering provoked her to dive into a fight  _ way  _ out of her league.  It would kind of suck if she’d done it all and he didn’t really...care.  

Maybe he was only looking for something to care about, since everything he’d had was gone.  

She shook her head, trying to push the thoughts away.  They were keeping her from sleeping.  

“He can probably hear you,” Audrey muttered, keeping her eyes firmly shut.  “Maybe discuss this somewhere else, not in front of the enemy?”

“The lady is right,” Loki chimed in.  “I can hear you.”  

Audrey could actually  _ hear  _ Tony rolling his eyes.  “Can it, Rock of Ages.”  

“I’m serious,” Steve continued.  “He came in too easily.  That guy packs a mean wallop.”  

“Still, you’re pretty  _ spry _ .  You know, for an older fellow.”  

Audrey winked one eye open, trying to glare at the iron-clad man.  

“What’s your thing?” he continued.  “Yoga?  Pilates?”  

Steve didn’t say a word, just turned to her.  With a sigh, Audrey forced her other eye open.  “They’re forms of exercise, and Tony’s just trying to get under your skin.”  She shifted in her chair, relieved to discover that some of the pain from her legs had subsided.  Her arms still felt like freakishly long cinder blocks attached to her body, and her torso was an entire different ballpark, but at least she could probably walk.  

“Just things you missed when you were doing time as a capsicle,” Tony added nonchalantly.  

“Tony!” Audrey scolded.  “Stop.”  

“Okay,  _ mom.”   _

Her face deflated.  She was  _ tired _ , and in a lot of  _ pain _ , and she really did not have the energy for anything involving Tony Stark’s antics at the moment.  

She ignored him, closing her eyes and folding her arms back across her chest.  Steve and Tony muttered back and forth for a little longer, but she tuned them out.  She tuned everything out, in fact, until a bright flash that managed to reach through her eyelids prompted her to open her eyes.  

“What’s wrong?  Scared of a little lightning?” Steve asked, but it wasn’t a question for her to answer.  This time, he was talking to Loki.  Audrey was confused for a second, because  _ why did her dad care about Loki’s wellbeing?   _ Then, she realized that it  _ was  _ kind of bizarre for him to fear lightning.  Someone who’d planned on ruling the world and had nearly killed a man just under an hour ago, was afraid of stormy weather?

“I’m not overly fond of what follows,” Loki answered.  Audrey furrowed her brow and uncrossed her arms.  Lightning was always followed by…

_ Thunder.   _ There it was.  Vast drumming from the skies.  

And then a thud.  The distinctive sound of something hitting the roof.  

“Uh,” Audrey started, reaching over for her helmet.  “What was that?”  

Tony had already slid his mask on.  Before anyone could bother trying to stop him, he hit a few of the buttons on the control panel.  “Let’s find out.”  

“Wait, Stark!” Steve protested.  But it was too late.  The doors were already opening.  A broad figure hopped down onto the ramp, which was now more of a diving board into the void than anything.  It (he?) straightened up from its crouching position.  The look in Loki’s eyes when Audrey glanced over was resignment.  He rolled his eyes a little, looking positively  _ bored  _ by the situation.  

The figure took a few steps in, and Tony lifted a hand to stop him but was cut short when he whipped out a hammer and slammed him in the chest.  The red-and-gold suit clanged tinnily as it rammed backwards into the wall, flying across Audrey’s peripheral vision.  She scrambled to unbuckle her seatbelt as the man leaned forward to wrap a not-so-friendly hand around Loki’s neck, dragging him by the throat to jump outside.  

“Wait, what?”  Was that Thor?  Audrey was fairly sure that it was Thor.  

“And now there’s that guy,” Tony mumbled, tinny voice coming out backed by an electric hum.  

“Another Asgardian?” Natasha inquired from the cockpit.  

“Yeah,” Audrey shouted back.  “Same as the one in New Mexico, I think!”  

As she’d been calling back and forth to Natasha, Audrey had lost track of Tony, who was now announcing, “I have a plan: attack!” and diving out of the plane.  

“Wait, Tony!” she called, but it was useless.  He’d already jumped.  “Oh my god,” she muttered.  

She reached out to grab a parachute.  

“I’d sit this one out, Carter,” Natasha called up.  “These guys come from legends, they’re practically gods.”  

Audrey shook her head.  “I’m not planning on fighting him.  I’m gonna get Tony not to.”  She latched onto the parachute she’d discarded earlier and fastened the straps over her arms.  Steve had also jumped to get one, and he was now finishing strapping up.  “You’re coming?” Audrey blurted, classless as per usual.  

“A soldier doesn’t go in alone,” Steve answered simply.  

And then, for the second time that hour, Audrey jumped out of a plane.  This time, she was wearing a parachute, but it was just as terrifying as before, considering the much lengthier distance and the abundance of trees below.  

Also, about halfway down, she realized the whole ordeal of her not having worked a parachute since she was training.  It had been a long time, but she only ever used them in the middle of open fields on sunny days.  Never in the middle of the night.  Never while chasing a god through the woods.  

There was a red tab, she assumed that would deploy the actual parachute, but at how far up was she supposed to pull it?  

She clenched her jaw, a high-pitched whine of fear escaping from the back of her throat, like screaming with her lips shut together.  Thankfully, Steve seemed to know what he was doing, so when he yanked on the red tab, Audrey followed suit.  

When they hit the ground, Steve ran forward for a few steps to slow himself down, but Audrey just landed on the forest floor with a graceless grunt, then proceeding to trip over a log.   _ Ow _ .  That wasn’t going to help her healing.  

Audrey and Steve surveyed their surroundings, both noticing the blast and lightning flaring up about a half-mile from where they’d landed.  Steve took off, Audrey following as close behind as she could, after untangling her parachute.  

The boots might’ve been good for shock absorption, but they were heavy as hell and turned running into a brutal, near-impossible task.  She huffed in air as she dragged her reluctant body towards the scene, skidding to stop when she reached the end of a ledge.  “ _ Whoa,”  _ she grunted, her legs actually rolling across the ground for a few inches before stilling.  

“Hey!” Steve called out.  Audrey looked down and caught sight of two very shocked looking people—well, one person in a metal suit, one god.  Thor and Tony were frozen in place, with weapons still pointed at each other.  “That’s enough.”  

“Thor’s an ally of SHIELD,” Audrey called down.  Steve hopped from the ledge to the clearing, and  _ yeah _ , Audrey had had enough of jumping for today, so she carefully scooted herself over the edge of the pseudo-cliff, bracing herself and sliding down.  The gloves of her suit were filthy by the time she reached the bottom, so she brushed her palms together, sending clouds of dirt into the air.  “We want the same thing,” she finished, then realized that they’d all had their eyes trained on her as she slid down the ledge ever-so-elegantly.  Her cheeks flushed as she flipped up the visor again.  

“How do you know?” Tony demanded.  

“I was in New Mexico last time Thor made a visit to earth,” Audrey answered.  “I was with Sitwell?”  

Thor frowned.  “Nevermind,” she said, and continued. “Um, so, since we’re all trying to stop Loki, I guess we can go back to the jet now?”  

As Thor grabbed Loki by the collar and Steve led the group back to the jet, Audrey reached over and pushed Tony to the side.  He stumbled a little, damaged suit coupling with her inhuman strength.  “What the hell?” he asked her.  

“You know, for a guy trying to go green, you destroyed a ridiculous amount of wildlife just now.”  

Tony slid back the helmet, paused, and rolled his eyes.  “When you build a skyscraper that runs on self-sustaining energy, you can get back to me on that.”  A beat of silence.  “When did  you start doing combat missions?”  

Audrey shrugged.  “Uh, like two hours ago.”  

“Huh.”  Tony shrugged.  “Also, don’t worry about the uniform.”  

“The  _ uniform?”   _

“You know, everyone has their schtick now.  Your dad’s all starry and spangly, I’m  _ Iron Man.”   _ Slinging a metal-plated arm over her shoulder, “You didn’t think we’d leave you out of our superhero fight club, did you?”  

Dear god.  A  _ costume?   _ She sighed.  “I was hoping,” she grumbled.  “I’m fine in tac gear.  I don’t need an outfit.”  

“If you’re worrying about style, I have excellent taste,” Tony assured her.  “In fact, even Pepper said it looked nice.”  

“I’m not worried about the style.”  Well, that was part of it.  But also, she didn’t want to draw that much attention to herself.  All the bright colors seemed… a bit much.  More eyes on her, more chances of her messing up.  Audrey was hoping that she could, like, save the world on the down-low.  

“It’s made of bulletproof, hyper-thin plating armor.  Fire resistant, too.”  

Audrey made a face.  “That’s a thing?  Wait.  How did you get my measurements?”  

Tony shrugged, dropping the arm around her shoulder.  “I guessed, also, I hacked into the SHIELD database.”  

“Wait,  _ what? _  Since when are those  _ on file _ ?”  

“Since 1994, actually.  Anyway.  It’s real snazzy, but I like to think it’s also functional, you know?  Dual-purpose.  A cross of elegance and strength.”  

She frowned.  He was beginning to sound like a contestant from  _ Project Runway.   _ “That’s fantastic, but I’m not wearing it.”  

Tony wasn’t having it.  “What happened to giving things a chance?  I distinctly remember you using that phrase in excess.”  He pinched his face up, and in a high-pitched voice, mocked, “ _ Give jazz a chance, Tony, it’s actually great!  Give  _ Happy Days  _ a chance!”   _

“I regret the  _ Happy Days  _ one, but I stand by the jazz.  But anyway, how many of those did you actually listen to?  Neither.”  

The jet had touched down in front of them, and Audrey allowed  Steve, Thor, and Loki to pass before she got in.  Tony paused, waving ahead with a flourish.  “Age before beauty, Carter.”  

She shot him an irritated look, too tired insult him back.  “I’m sleeping on the jet.  If you wake me up, I’ll cover your suit in glitter.”  

“Joke’s on you,” Tony said.  “I look fantastic in sparkles.”  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n: Hello again everybody!  Thank you for all the kind words on the last chapter, you’re all amazing!  We finally got Tony’s intro this chapter, and you got to see the kind of rapport he and Audrey have with each other.  They’re some of my favorite characters to write, honestly, because Tony knows that Audrey’s very klutzy and awkward but he’s so used to it that he doesn’t bother making fun of her for it anymore, so she feels kind of at ease around him.  The fight scenes were a bit tougher, because I’m not an action writer usually.  Thanks to CatrinaSL for all the beta work!
> 
> Next chapter we’ve got the intro of a new OC, a little more insight to Audrey and Bruce’s friendship, and more of Darcy and Jane!
> 
> I’d love a review on the way out, if you can!  <3   _As an incentive for reviewing, I will answer any spoiler question for any part of the series, and I’ll probably update faster._  Also, feel free to leave me the name of one of your fics and I’ll check it out!
> 
>  **Chapter Six:** With Nothing to Lose
> 
>  
> 
> _“What happened to you?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I got punched in the face by a demi-god.  Several times in a row.”_
> 
>  
> 
> __


	6. With Nothing to Lose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Darcy accidentally calls Steve pretty, Audrey's insecurities are back and more annoying than ever, the scientists science! and Steve and Audrey have a moment, even if she's partially unconscious for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I have no idea what practices nurses use to determine injuries/best heal them. I did as much research as a I could, but I'm only 14 and I've got no actual experience in the field, so I'm sorry about any inaccuracies in the first scene!

 

Audrey slept the entire jet ride back. Thankfully, Tony managed to shut up long enough to let her rest, but she still dreamt of rather bizarre things—nothing she remembered very clearly, but images that left a weird, upside-down feeling in her stomach. Or maybe it was the bruises.

Steve carefully nudged her awake when they landed back on the helicarrier's hangar, and helped guide her to medical. She rested a fairly generous amount of weight on his side as he led her over, but to his credit, he didn't complain.

She wasn't really sure what she'd expected, jumping straight into battle. If she'd stuck to the plan, she'd probably have been spared a lot of the injuries.

She was thankful for the serum; without it, Audrey might've gotten herself killed. So honestly, it wasn't as bad as it could've been. Keeping up the positivity was a little hard, though, when she winced every time she inhaled, as it caused her lungs to expand and press themselves against her ribcage. She grimaced as Steve stepped away to open the door to the infirmary, where nurses in scrubs were scattered about at their stations. One of them rushed by her, paused upon seeing Audrey's bruised face, and nodded. "We'll take her from here," she assured Steve.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked. Audrey shook her head no, not wanting to keep him from anything that might be more important than a few bruises. He nodded, opening his mouth but then closing it immediately after, like he'd stopped himself before saying something.

When the adrenaline faded, Audrey almost felt embarrassed about the fight. She'd held her own, to some extent, and she knew in her heart that it was for a good reason, but emerging with such heavy limbs just proved how inexperienced she was compared to everyone else on the mission. Technically, she'd trained longer than Steve had. But she'd never been out in the field like that. While Steve knew that you had to expect the unexpected, she'd only been prepared for the situations that Peggy had laid out for her in the boxing ring below Howard Stark's mansion in New York. Those had always been just a precaution, not something she would ever have to use.

The nurse who had stopped her reached out a hand, pulling her back towards one of the private rooms and sitting her down on the examining table. Audrey made a move to hop onto it, trying to appear graceful, but the heavy combat boots swung her legs back so that they hit the cabinet below with a loud thud. Through the gap between the curtain and the wall, she noticed a nurse jump at his cart. _Oh my god, Audrey, what are you doing?_ She grimaced out an apologetic smile.

"What happened to you?" Erin asked, tilting her head to the side with what seemed a lot like genuine concern.

Audrey glanced at her ID badge. **ERIN SIMONS. LEVEL 8.**

"I got punched by a demi-god," she answered honestly, then made a face. It had been a weird couple of days. "A bunch of times in a row," she added, paranoid that her first sentence alone made her sound self-righteous.

She felt like she was being both pathetic and conceited. Honestly, had anyone else gone to the med bay? Tony hadn't, and Tony didn't have any magic serum running through his veins.

"Uh," Erin started, fumbling for a way to reply. "That's horrible."

Audrey snorted. Her honesty made the blonde feel like she could trust her.

"I'm gonna need you to unzip the tac-suit," the nurse said, resting her clipboard down at the counter. "Uh, you're Agent Carter, right?"

Audrey nodded, reaching up and unzipping the suit to her waist, slipping the sleeves off her shoulders. Despite the cool air in the infirmary that she was now exposed to, her arms were warm.

"So you've got the serum in your blood?"

Audrey nodded again, even though she'd thought that information wasn't accessible until level 9. At this point, did she care, really? The only thing she could think about at this moment was the ache in her ribs. And, well, there was always room for anxiety—about where Barton was, if she was ever going to need to go back into the field, and the weight that had been resting on her shoulders for the past week: the whole issue of her dad.

Even though he'd only been discovered six days ago, Audrey's insomnia and already-skewed perception of time made it feel like it had been far, far longer. Steve had entered her life and blown it to pieces, basically. Would she have even been called in if Captain America wasn't brought back from the dead? She could've been in her office, blissfully unaware of the magic invisible city flying around the sky, solving cases with Caroline and Claudia and Lindsey, the rest of her team.

It wasn't fair to blame it on him, she reminded herself. For all she new, Fury had planned the meeting weeks ago, before Steve Rogers being alive was even possible. And Captain America or not, Loki probably still would've taken the Tesseract. Really, she should've been more grateful that her dad had come back. Even though there were… complications to it all. Did Steve even want to be involved in her life? Did she want him to? He hadn't planned on a kid.

But, well, neither had Peggy, technically. Still, Audrey was an adult now. She didn't need Steve to be a fixture in her life if he didn't want to be. And that was fine. _Fine._ It was perfectly fine.

(Except, the more she thought about it, the more she realized that his rejection would sting.)

Audrey hissed, suddenly, yanked out of her internal-back-and-forth by Erin lifting up her shirt and probing the skin underneath.

"Sorry," the nurse apologized. "How far can you inhale before it begins to hurt?"

She sucked in a slow breath, counting to four before the pain really kicked in.

Erin nodded. "I don't think it's broken. I'm going to give you some painkillers, but your metabolism might process them before they get a chance to work, so maybe double the dosage." She blew out a breath. "What's the deal with your healing? Is that accelerated or is it just harder to injure you?"

Audrey frowned. "Um, honestly? I've got no idea. I've never been injured this badly before." Her cheeks heated up with embarrassment.

The other woman made a sturgeon face. "Well, I guess this is a pretty good story to tell, then, right? Better than getting your ass kicked during a Black Friday sale."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

She laughed a little. "Well, from the experience of watching it happen." Turning around to the counter, she grabbed something from the counter, running it under the sink. Audrey expected her to turn around with some tool she was going to proceed to poke her with, but instead, she came back with a paper cup. "Water?"

Audrey nodded vigorously, reaching out and snatching it up. She downed it in seconds, and it soothed her aching throat almost immediately, but still left her thirsty. She rested it down on the examination table gently, a few inches away from her hip. Even though her fingers were nimble, the cup fell over.

"It's the vent. It's right outside," Erin explained, lifting up a clipboard and then scribbling some things down. "They'll give you the painkillers at the desk out front. Otherwise, I mostly recommend sleep and some good food. Give yourself a few hours to rest, so that your body can focus on healing itself."

"Thanks," she said to Erin, careful not to kick the table as she slid off of it. Audrey pulled her suit back onto her shoulders, zipping it up to her neck. "I'll see you around."

Actually, she really hoped not. Erin seemed like a lovely person, but Audrey had no interest in busting up her ribs ever again.

After grabbing the bottle of pain meds from the desk, Audrey headed back to her locker, where she shrugged off the gear and slipped back into her skirt from earlier. This time, however, she grabbed a gray t-shirt instead of the button-down, and opted for flats instead of pumps. She discarded the uniform in the bin by the door on the way out, pulling out her phone and checking the time in London.

Audrey took a deep breath. Did she want to tell her mom? It seemed like the obvious answer was _no_ , because Peggy would probably hobble out of her bed and into her wheelchair and push herself across the ocean to kill her for being stupid. But it felt wrong not to. Peggy had been the one to train her in fighting, she at least deserved to know that her training saved Audrey from getting pancaked by a dude in a weird hat with a stick.

She dialed the number. Three rings later, the line was answered. "Hello?" Peggy greeted.

"Hey, mom. Uh, listen, so, I kind of… did something stupid."

Peggy hummed into the phone, the tone sounding an awful lot like an inquiry. "Well that's an excellent way to start me off this morning." She huffed. "What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

_Uh…_ "Sort of. Yes. But I'm healing."

"What _happened?"_ Peggy demanded. "Did you get into a fight?"

"How did you know?" Audrey questioned, furrowing her brow. Seeking to deny her transparency, she followed up, "Did Fury tell you?"

"I know _you_. You're in a time of crisis, and I know that you do the right thing." Then, after a moment, "Plus, look at your parents."

She opened her mouth to protest, but then realized it was true. Steve had gotten himself beat up plenty of times when he jumped into fights way out of his depth. Peggy had gone back into the field part time, like, a month after giving birth. Both family lines had histories of cannonballing into wars and walking straight into fistfights on a weekly basis.

Audrey laughed. "I suppose that's true."

"I _know_ it's true," her mother countered. "Just stay safe, alright, darling? Promise me you'll stay safe."

There was nothing about this that was safe. The flying boat could drop from the sky any second, one of the armed agents could go rogue and attack her, or Loki could break out of his prison and decide to stab her.

But she gritted her teeth and answered, "I promise. I love you," she added quickly.

God, she hadn't lied to Peggy since the nineties. And even then, it had been more of a _no, I didn't spend my calculator money on movies_ , rather than an _I promise I won't die_ kind of fib, and the latter seemed way, _way_ worse than the former.

Audrey hung up her phone, pocketing it before heading down to the conference area in the command center. She took the winding hallways left and right, stepping through the door just in time to hear Bruce's words. "He really grows on you, doesn't he?" the scientist remarked sardonically.

_If we're speaking in terms of a parasite, then yes._

Audrey made her way to a spot on the table a few seats to the right of Natasha. Everyone was fairly spaced out around the table, and she didn't want to make it weird. To the redhead's left was Bruce, and a few seats down from him was Steve, still dressed in his uniform, brow furrowed as her analyzed the facts.

"Loki's gonna drag this out," her dad said, still in full Captain America mode. "Thor, what's his play?"

The blonde god was standing over in the corner, looking pensive. Audrey doubted he would recognize her, she'd only caught glimpses of him in New Mexico, a few as he tossed agents left and right, and a few later when his alien robot pal had decided to rampage through Puente Antiguo. He was wearing a comm in his ear that had definitely not been there before—Nat must've given it to him when they'd returned.

The redhead in question was sitting at the head of the conference table, worrying her lip, the only betrayal to her blank visage.

At Steve's questioning, Thor was pulled from his thoughts, announcing, "He has an army."

"Uh, what?" Audrey crowed, because even _one_ alien had been enough to wipe an entire town off the map. But an _army_ of aliens?

Natasha shot her a look from across the table, looking back at Thor a moment later. Still, Audrey felt the message loud and clear: this was a bad situation, and she needed to sit down and listen. It wasn't cruel, just stern. Audrey's cheeks heated up and she rested her chin in her hands to hide the embarrassed blush. Even if the intention wasn't to insult her, and Natasha was in the right, she couldn't help but feel the need to suddenly hide under a desk and never leave.

"The Chitauri," Thor went on. "They're not from Asgard, or any world known. He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth, in return, I suspect, for the Tesseract."

Well that was _great._ Not only was Loki a murderous _god_ , but he had an army of aliens at the ready to wage war against the human race.

She had _never_ been trained for this. She guessed that even Natasha hadn't been trained for this, in the years she spent in Russia. Really, the only person with enough experience to qualify for alien-fighting was Thor, the actual alien in the room. Audrey wondered if he'd ever seen worlds end.

But then, she realized that Loki wanted to win the earth. Not destroy it. "He wants the planet to remain intact?" she asked. "Obviously, he's willing to destroy stuff to get the whole of it, but he doesn't want to end the human race, or the world. He just wants to control it." Looking up for confirmation, she continued, "Right? Am I right?"

Thor nodded slowly. "Yes, that is likely correct."

"But he'll be using an army? From outer space," Steve inquired solemnly. He looked to Audrey and she nodded. Later, she'd have to tell him that this was also not a weekly occurrence in twenty-first century living.

"If he doesn't want to destroy the world, we still have things he wants," Natasha concluded.

Thor turned around. "Not quite, I'm afraid." At everyone's questioning looks, he went on. "To bargain with Loki would be to... how do you put it? To sell your soul, I believe. He's a skilled liar and he isn't to be trusted to follow through."

Well, then. Negotiations were out of the question.

"So he's building another portal," Bruce confirmed. "That's what he needs Erik Selvig for."

"Selvig?" Thor asked.

"He's an astrophysicist," Audrey answered. It seemed that she was now answering any question she heard with whatever answer she could scrounge up, which was probably (definitely) a disaster waiting to happen. Just like this whole alien-army thing. And her job in stopping the alien-army. So.

"He's a friend," Thor argued back.

"Loki's got him under some kind of spell," Natasha relayed. "Along with one of ours. It's the whole reason why we brought Doctor Foster on board, so that she can be our go-to when it comes to Erik's research. The two worked very—"

"Jane is here?" Thor interrupted. The _slightest_ bit of panic passed over his features before he cleared his throat and masked it. Audrey guessed that she was the only one who caught it, and maybe Natasha as well.

"You know her?" Bruce inquired, surprised.

"We met during my… my previous visit to your realm," he replied vaguely. "She's on the ship? Right now?"

"Right now," Bruce returned.

"I see."

Audrey raised an eyebrow, glancing back and forth between Thor's conflicted countenance and her father's puzzled one. For the first time in a while, the awkward pause hadn't been on her account. She pursed her lips into a frown, unsure of what to say next. A beat passed, soundwaves empty.

Thankfully, Steve decided to speak up: "I wanna know why Loki let us take him. He's not leading an army from here."

"I don't think we should be focusing on Loki," Bruce argued. "That guy's brain is a bag full of cats. You could smell the crazy on him."

Audrey opened her mouth to compliment the… _uniqueness_ of that metaphor, but stopped short. Now wasn't the time. She didn't want to humiliate herself further.

"Have care how you speak," Thor warned, voice deep and stern. "Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he is my brother."

Uh, wait, what? _Since when were unreasonable murderers exempt from being insulted because they're your brother?_ Audrey might've been biased, just from the black and blue marks skittering across her torso, but she felt like the point still stood. She didn't want to argue with Thor, mostly because of his hulking figure and god-status, but was only barely able to restrain herself.

"He's killed eighty people in two days," Natasha, bless her, answered flatly.

The god winced. "...He's adopted."

Audrey made a face, but dropped it when Bruce steered them back on track. "What did he need the Iridium for?"

Right. That. The attack on the gala had been at the gala specifically because the building contained a science wing. Studies on meteorites had been taking place there, and in those meteorites? Iridium. It was rare, according to the notes Foster had sent along with them on the jet—a ten page packet, back and front, single spaced, but with a post it on top that read _**CLIFF'S NOTES VERSION:**_ _iridium: rare, from meteorites, forms anti-protons -Darcy._ But Bruce's question was a good one. They knew what it was (ish), but they still didn't know _why_.

"It's a stabilizing agent." Audrey turned to catch Tony muttering something quietly to Coulson, before he stepped away with a flourish and started talking. "It means the portal won't collapse in on itself, like it did at SHIELD." Tony went on to pat Thor on the shoulder mockingly before continuing down the bridge towards Fury's command center. "No offense, Point Break, You've got a mean swing," he assured Thor, then, Tony-like, returned to the topic at hand. "It _also_ means that the portal can open as wide, or stay open as long as Loki wants."

_Well, that's horrible,_ Audrey thought, followed rapidly by, _Why did I sign up for this?_ about a thousand times in a row. Just because she knew how to hit things with her fist _did not_ make her qualified to save the world from aliens. It took all her self-control not to drop her forehead onto the table and start bawling.

_Find the bright side_ , her inner-Ana reminded her, but the more Audrey considered, the more and more clear it became that there was _literally no bright side._

The facts went like this: Audrey was on a flying boat, which was also currently housing a demigod who had tried to murder her a few hours ago (she teared up a little every time she took a deep breath); there was a possibility that aliens were going to come enslave the human race; an incredibly dangerous object was still floating around somewhere on the planet; an assassin and a genius had been brainwashed into committing some fairly heinous crimes, and were still M.I.A.

_None_ of those sounded good. _None._ There was no bright side, no matter how far into the distance she squinted.

Also, there was the looming cloud of worry that she had no idea where she stood with Steve. She didn't know whether he had any interest in being a part of her life or if he was just going to stick around until he passed a psych eval and could get as far away from SHIELD as possible. What if he _regretted_ his romance with Peggy? What if he was the guy that got bummed out because _hell-yeah to getting laid_ but _hell-no to the consequences_? Would he have agreed to visit at the end of the month if he didn't want to? Maybe it had been the pressure of the situation. Just after getting what was likely the biggest shock of his life, and he'd been willing to agree to anything - familial bonding, a trip to London to see his now-eighty-year-old ex. She wanted to ask him about it, so that she was sure she wouldn't be dragging him around. But would he pass off politeness long enough to tell her the truth? Could she deal with the rejection if her suspicions were true?

Sarcastically, Tony called out to the sea of agents, "Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails." When nobody reacted, he jabbed a finger out at one of the computer screens. "That man is playing Galaga! He thought we wouldn't notice, but we did."

She turned back so she was facing forward. Her neck hurt, and she wasn't going to suffer to watch Tony act stupid. When Audrey glanced back at Steve, she found him excitedly looking over at the screen Tony had pointed at, trying to see whatever had caused such a fuss.

Rubbing her eyes, she swallowed down a yawn. It had been at least twenty-four hours since she'd last slept, and during those twenty-four hours, she'd participated in the most physically aggravating fight of her life thus far. Hopefully ever.

Behind Thor, Coulson passed by, another agent with a tablet in tow. "Thor?" he called. "I need to ask you some questions about your brother."

"Of course, Son of Coul," the god responded, following after the agent. "I have some questions for you, as well. I have heard tell that Jane Foster—"

"Yes, Doctor Foster is..." Audrey heard Coulson saying as he led Thor out of one door.

"Everything else is pretty easy to obtain," a new voice called out from the other entrance. Audrey jerked up from the table in surprise. She'd been _so close_ to tuning the noise out and drifting off, and the arrival of a different person had dragged her out of her almost-rest. Jane Foster was dressed in a flannel shirt and old jeans, her hair up in a sloppy ponytail, a clipboard in her hands that she zeroed all of her attention on. Behind her, Darcy Lewis was carrying three college-textbook sized notebooks, all of which were well-worn. "Your guy…" Jane trailed off. "Barron?"

"Barton," her assistant corrected, dropping the books down on the table and sighing in content.

"Right. Barton. Well, all he needs is a power source to catalyze the cube's energy." Jane dropped down into the chair next to Audrey picking up the notebook on the top of the stack, opening it up halfway through and pulling a pen from her hair. She yanked the cap off with her teeth and began to scribble down notes in the margin. "Something he could heat to… five, eighteen-thousand, twenty one… one-twenty million Kelvin—"

"—to break through the Coulomb barrier," Bruce finished.

Jane's eyes lit up like Christmas. "Yes. Exactly."

Tony stepped back over to the table. "Finally, people who speak English."

"Is that what just happened?" Steve wondered aloud.

Before Audrey could answer, Darcy quipped, "They're scientists. They think everyone talks in theories and understands exactly how technology works. You just have to let them do their thing and feed them pop tarts on occasion."

The three scientists fawned over each other for a moment; compliments on each other's dissertations, journal papers, and advancements in technology flew back and forth, followed by a spitting remark from Tony about how _great_ it was that Dr. Banner also turned into a giant green monster if his heart beat too fast.

"Um… thanks," Bruce answered, voice wavering uncertainly. His gaze dropped to the floor. Audrey shot Tony an unlikely-to-intimidate glare, but felt some relief that at least she wasn't the one screwing up anymore. Despite that, he really shouldn't have been an asshole to Bruce. Really.

"Dr. Banner is _only_ here to help us with tracking the cube," Fury interrupted. "I was hoping you might join him and Dr. Foster as they search."

"Let's start with that magic stick of his," Steve decided, ever the Star-Spangled-Man-With-a-Plan. "It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon."

Fury considered. "I don't know about that, but it is powered by the cube. And I'd like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys." Taking a deep breath, he instructed, "Stark, Banner, and Foster, I need you working on that. Romanoff's with me to interrogate our… _guest_. Rogers and Carter, wait for further orders."

Audrey assumed that that meant she had free time, so as the inhabitants of the room dispersed, she announced, "Let's find the cafeteria!" Looking to her dad, and then to Darcy, she repeated, "Right?"

While Steve nodded, Darcy simply shrugged. "Jane ate a little while ago, and as long as someone makes sure she doesn't stab herself with her tools she'll be fine, so if that was an invitation, then yes! Let's find food! But if it wasn't, forget I said anything."

"It was," Audrey assured her, pushing up from the table. "Then, I'll probably pass out on the first remotely-soft surface I find."

* * *

 The cafeteria was mostly empty when Darcy, Audrey, and Steve arrived. A few uniformed agents milled around with trays in their hands, but for the most part, it was deserted.

"Dude, this is kind of a rude question, but what happened to your face?" Darcy asked.

Audrey looked over at Steve, thinking for a moment that the question was aimed at him before realizing that _she_ was the one with a black eye and a cut down her cheek, not him. Well, he'd had a cut on his cheek, but it had healed at some point on the jet, after Audrey fell asleep but before they'd arrived.

"Um," she answered. "Well, the guy we were… arresting? We were arresting him, right?" She looked to Steve for confirmation. At his nod, she continued, "Uh, so we were arresting him, but he didn't really… _want_ … to be arrested. So, you know, he punched me in the nose. A few times."

"Right…" Darcy replied, appearing only half-horrified by this tale of events. "Are you _okay?"_

Audrey waved it off. "I'm fine. It happens." _No_. It didn't happen. Not to her, ever, and why was she so determined to make it sound like she had a history of fighting people? She had a history of _wanting_ to fight people, but she hoped to god that nobody was going to overhear her, take it the wrong way, and think she was prepared to muscle up and throw some punches. She was unqualified for that kind of work. _Really_ , really unqualified.

"You guys eat a _lot_ ," Darcy remarked, clutching a mug of coffee in her hands. "Seriously? Your team's food budget must be super huge. And I ate at a diner with Thor once."

Audrey wondered briefly if Darcy knew the Asgardian was on board.

Halfway into her third sandwich, she could feel the aches and bruises begin to ease a little. While Darcy and her father were keeping up polite conversation (Steve significantly more reserved than the woman across from him), the blonde had been packing away plate after plate of food.

"Are you from New York?" Steve asked.

"Uh, no, Pennsylvania. Then Culver University, and then New Mexico, and now New York. It's nice, but the cell reception sucks."

Steve almost frowned, but stopped himself before it was noticeable. Sticking to the cover of a shadowing agent, he nodded indubitably and replied, "Yes, it certainly does."

Audrey hadn't _quite_ gotten around to teaching him the normal linguistics of a modern man, and judging by Darcy's slightly narrowed eyes, she was noticing something was up. _Please believe that all people in the military are like this. Not just the ones from the forties._ She offered a crazed smile from around the opening of her water bottle. Darcy offered one back, but hers was full of less panic and more perplexity.

Well, that was great.

_Smooth, Carter. Excellent move._

"Where are you from?" Darcy returned.

"Um, me?" Audrey asked. "Or, you know, him?"

_That was such an unnecessary follow up oh my god way to make it weird._

Darcy's hand gestured back and forth. "Y'know. Either. Both. Whichever."

Well. Points to her for not embarrassing Audrey on her less-than-commendable social skills.

"Los Angeles," the blonde answered, just as her father said, "Brooklyn." Quick to clarify, Audrey said, "I mean, I'm from Los Angeles, and he's from Brooklyn. California. I mean, Los Angeles, California. Because Brooklyn is in New York. Obviously."

Dear god. If she were having some weird, out-of-body experience that had somehow landed her watching herself speak, Audrey would've been _horrified_ by her own babbling. _Stop. Talking._

That had never worked in the past, so Audrey snatched up a handful of cold fries from her plate and shoved them into her mouth, rendering herself mute for the moment. As she worked to deal with that, Darcy finished the last fry on her plate and stood up. "I should probably check on Jane, because there's a fifty-fifty chance that she's electrocuted herself, but this was fun! I'll find you later, probably. If you aren't busy doing, like, fight-y stuff." To Audrey she said, "I hope you feel better. And if you ever get into a fight again, I recommend tasers. They're proven to work against gods." To Steve, she just gawked for a second, smiled, and said, "I'm off to wrangle some scientists!"

"It was a pleasure to see you again," Steve told her, smiling broadly.

"Yeah," she called back. "It was nice to look at— _see you_ again." She smacked a hand over her face. Darcy offered a sheepish grin in apology. "Bye."

As the two super-soldiers licked the wounds left behind by that embarrassing conversation, Audrey's eyelids began to droop and the horror at her own foot-in-mouth syndrome faded away.

She was _exhausted._ So much so that she was ready to pass out on the table. "I'm gonna find a place to nap," she decided, shuffling away to drop her plate and tray off.

Steve followed suit.

Eventually, Audrey stumbled upon a lounge somewhere amongst the residential areas of the ship. She didn't know what purpose it served, or whether or not it was exclusively for mission control agents or what, but that didn't stop her from collapsing onto the first couch she saw and dozing off immediately.

It might've been a dream, or maybe not, but Audrey could've sworn she felt Steve toss a blanket over her. It was probably her brain playing tricks on her when he wished her sweet dreams.

But still, Audrey felt like a little girl for a moment, not twenty-one, not sixty-four. Just a child being loved by her dad, with a dark sky out the window, lit only by the stars.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you spot the foreshadowing?  Anyone who guesses correctly will get any question they want answered, in regards to any part of the series! (From here to Civil War, that is, because that's the extent of my plans thus far).  Other than the little hints I snuck in, this was more of a filler chapter than anything, I'm sorry. But there are big things coming up soon! Audrey's costume reveal, a training session with Natasha, more Steve and Aud bonding, and the next chapter gets us halfway to the Battle of New York!
> 
> I love all the feedback this story has been getting, and I'd definitely appreciate reviews on this chapter as well! The more feedback, the sooner Audrey gets her costume and the sooner we get to the rest of the story!  
> 
> Quick shoutout to unsavedprincesses on tumblr and emiliachrstine on tumblr who sat patiently and peer-pressured me into writing this chapter, they're both fab and they both also have Marvel stories you should check out!  Thanks again to my beta CatrinaSL who translates my work from gibberish to something intelligible.  
> 
> Again, if you leave a review, you get a spoiler for this story!  Just let me know what you want to know at the bottom of your comment.  
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Seven: To Make it Official
> 
> Audrey stared up at the uniform, jaw on the floor. Suddenly, the pressure of her name, and everything that came with it seemed to weigh a lot heavier on her shoulders.
> 
> But she was willing to carry that burden. For the right cause. For the right people.


	7. To Make it Official

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have to get worse before they can get better. Audrey gets her costume and it's awesome, until plot happens.

Audrey was born to a mother who had always been a fighter. So as soon as she grew old enough to brace her hand into a fist, Peggy took her down to Howard Stark's basement, showed her a punching bag, and taught her how to hit it effectively.

Thanks to the serum, the six-year-old girl was able to hit the bag with the same amount of force as someone twice her size. She balled up her hands and Peggy showed her how to jab, how to perform a roundhouse kick, how to escape an attacker's grasp. Audrey learned quickly how to proceed if someone wrapped a hand around her throat—grab one of their fingers and pull it back until they let go—or if she was hugged and her arms disabled—kick her heel into the attacker's foot, and then send it flying back to their groin.

Peggy taught her to fight the way she'd learned: how to use smaller size to her advantage and how to find someone's weak points when they tried to overpower her with strength. For Audrey's sweet sixteen, she got a modified _Sweet Dreams_ lipstick that wasn't quite as dramatic a shade and a bottle of poison-detecting nail polish. She kept both items in a locked jewelry box on her table, and when she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. soon after, she stashed them in the top drawer of her office, next to her pens and post-its.

Even though she only joined as an investigative agent. Even if she only solved cases and looked into weird goings-on to explain them. Even if she was never fighting like her mother. She held the gifts close to her heart, and trusted them to protect her.

But of course, these were not things that would save her from an alien invasion. Nope. Apparently, for that, she needed three hours of brutal training and metal sticks. _Not sticks_ , she corrected herself. _Batons._

Less than fifteen minutes ago, Romanoff had found her asleep on the couch, and poked her until she awoke from her slumber to inform her, "We've got time for training right now. I'd take advantage."

Even through her grogginess, Audrey felt a sense of accomplishment that the Black Widow hadn't tried to kill her or draw on her face while she was sleeping. That was probably a good sign.

Audrey was in the helicarrier's training room with the Natasha Romanoff above her, yelling out various cardio drills. First it had been pushups. Then it had been situps, and then jumping. Not jumping jacks, not jumps-and-kicks, just jumping into the air as high as she could, and landing solidly on her feet. Her calves ached with each spring, and by the time Natasha finally let her stop, she had lost all feeling in her legs. Instead of limbs, they felt more like weird extensions of her body that weighed too much and hung loosely from her torso.

Not that Romanoff cared, it seemed, because next she was demanding that Audrey haul herself off the floor and begin doing kicks against the heavy bag. And then alternating between punches and kicks. And then a twelve step combo including two spins and three types of punches. By the time an hour had passed, Audrey was so sore that she was beginning to feel her actual age. Any of the embarrassment she'd felt towards the beginning of this... _torture session_ had faded to make room for pain and suffering and the feeling that she would soon pass out.

Natasha kept her face blank. It made sense. Audrey wasn't used to this level of exercise, but Natasha had been doing things probably far worse than this since childhood. Even though the blonde had needed to read her file at one point or another, she found little on the Red Room. Of all the reports S.H.I.E.L.D. had in their archives, there was almost nothing about the Black Widow program. Small things: a scar around Natasha's wrist from being forced to sleep handcuffed to her bed, the exact number of agents (twenty-eight), ballet shoes, a brief statement about mouthing along to children's movies to Americanize their voices. Audrey hated cardio, but at least she hadn't been stripped of her childhood and made into a weapon.

Natasha turned around to a silver case on the floor. She bent over to open it, and then carried it over to Audrey, displaying the shiny silver batons inside. "There are for you. Pretty basic; there are at least four other more dangerous sets in the armory downstairs. Hold them three inches from the base."

Hesitantly, Audrey reached into the case and grasped a baton in each fist. They were heavier than she expected, and she lifted them up for closer inspection.

"The weight is designed for someone heavier than you, but not quite as strong. We'll see how it goes." Natasha lifted her arms up and stepped into a fighting stance. One hand, clenched in a fist, was held close to her chin, while the other was straight down, parallel to her thigh. "I'm about to attack you. What do you do?"

Audrey hesitated, unsure of the answer. "Block you?"

Natasha shrugged. "That works." And then, without warning, she swung her fist at the blonde. She barely had time to react, lifting up the batons to cross under her wrist, and then yanking them apart to send Natasha's arm up into the air. _Oh my god._ She blocked an attack from the _Black freaking Widow._ In her excitement, she burst into a grin and dropped the batons. "Holy _sh—_ "

And then, promptly, Natasha dropped to the floor and knocked Audrey's feet out from under her, leaving her on her ass.

"— _it_! _OW_. Oops."

"Treat this like it's real," Romanoff instructed. "Remember that I probably _could_ kill you."

Right. There was that to worry about. Audrey rolled forward, picking herself up off the mat.

"Again," Natasha said, moving back into her fighting position. Like before, she moved to attack Audrey, who dodged the kick by ducking. This, unfortunately, gave Natasha an opening to wrestle her to the floor, pinning her.

She stood back up, offered a hand to Audrey, and pulled her to her feet. "You need better grounding. If you can't balance, you'll never be able to make it in a fight." She bit her bottom lip for a moment, and then released it to give Audrey more instructions. "Put your body at an angle to the ground. One foot in front of the other, and bend your knees."

Audrey followed the instructions, planting her feet in a mirror image of Romanoff's.

"Now lean forward a little. This is just a start, by the way. Fights are usually very mobile, but if you try and resume this position, it'll be harder for someone to push you over. You never want to end up pinned down. An attacker only needs a second to shoot you in the head. Five seconds to cut your throat."

The blonde made a face. That sounded unpleasant. Really, really, unpleasant. Definitely to-be-avoided.

Natasha circled her, adjusting her stance. Audrey made note of everything she did, from the re-positioning of her fists to the tilting of her chin.

Back and forth they went, Natasha attacking first, and then Audrey. Every time, Audrey ended up on the floor, but the redhead made sure that she knew _why_. Either, "You need to react more quickly. Reflexes take time to train, but part of it is that you aren't on high enough alert," or, "If you want your hit to have more impact, aim for about an inch lower, where the muscles are usually used less, and probably weaker," or, "if you're going to spin around like that, turn your wrist with the rest of your body to take advantage of that momentum."

But Audrey could feel herself picking up on it. She probably wouldn't be able to, like, backflip into a kick or something after just one workout with the Black Widow, but she felt better able to protect herself.

Natasha finally called their training session to an end after flipping Audrey over for what was _at least_ the twentieth time that day. Audrey collapsed onto the mat, rolling back into a sitting position, propped up against the wall. She needed a nap.

Unlikely to happen, however.

"Your technique is pretty bad," Natasha remarked. The blonde's eyes flew up to her.

"Oh," she said. "Uh. Sorry."

Ignoring her apology, the redhead continued, "But you're resourceful. Your fighting just needs to be polished. You've got the strength. You have the will."

Natasha didn't smile, but Audrey couldn't help herself. Her face broke into a grin. All the training with her mom had paid off, apparently. Peggy had been known for being scrappy. More than once, she'd defended herself with staplers or a nearby briefcase.

"Keep the batons on you," Natasha instructed. "Fury needs me for now, but Stark says that there's something in your locker."

Audrey frowned. In her locker? How had Tony known which locker was hers?

He'd probably annoyed someone into telling him. But how had he gotten into the women's locker room? Audrey pushed the thoughts away, suddenly deciding that she didn't want to think about it too hard. As Natasha stepped towards the door, she remembered her manners, calling, "Uh, thank you. For the training."

The redhead smirked. "You look miserable."

"I feel miserable," Audrey blurted. "I mean, I feel better equipped too, though, that's why—"

A stern look cut her off. "Check your locker," Natasha repeated, then left without another word.

Audrey sat still for another few minutes, in awe about everything happening. She winced as she finally rolled forward and heaved herself up off the floor. After gathering the batons, she placed them back into the case and clicked it shut. She was hungry again, but felt that if she ate anything she would actually throw up. _Better to give it a second_ , she decided. In the meantime, she'd get whatever Tony wanted her to find.

She followed the hallways back to the locker room, when it hit her. _The suit._ He'd promised her a suit. " _Did you really think we'd leave you out of our superhero fight club?"_

Oh _god._ She didn't want a suit, especially not if it was Tony-designed. If she encouraged this, he might be inspired to start designing a clothing line or something. _Stark Style_.

No no no. _Nope. Stop._ She needed to get off of this train of thought.

Audrey almost considered just _not_ going to the locker room and saying that Romanoff hadn't told her, but then what would Natasha think? She might as well just see what it looked like, right? She wasn't going to wear it, she still stood by the whole _draw-as-little-attention-to-myself-as-possible_ thing, but it couldn't hurt to see what it looked like. Right?

Right.

She wasn't a superhero, but she could still see what it looked like.

Upon finally reaching the locker room, she made a beeline for her locker, hand trembling as she made to enter her fingerprint. It beeped at the recognition.

Audrey held her breath as she reached for the handle, pulling up and then out, swinging the door open to find...

Nothing.

Well. Not nothing, but there was no suit. Just a slip of paper, and in Tony's messy scribbles, a message that read: _In the armory._

She rolled her eyes, tossing the note back inside her locker and slamming the door. The shelf rattled and Audrey immediately cringer. "Crap! _Sor_ —" She cut herself off, making a face. There was nobody else in here. "Oops."

Audrey had no particular interest in participating in this whole scavenger hunt thing Tony had her on. But she had nothing better to do, and she hadn't really brought a book with her, expecting that there wouldn't be much down time. She felt almost useless, now that her heart rate had calmed and she wasn't training. Romanoff was off doing important agent stuff, Banner and Tony were off in scienceland with Jane, and and Steve was probably… being righteous. Or something. Professing his love to a lady named justice?

Audrey cringed. She really should know what her dad was doing. She knew he liked to draw, but suspected that he hadn't brought a sketch pad. Even if he had, the last time she'd seen him he'd been wearing red rubber gloves, and although she was not an artist herself, she strongly suspected that those would get in the way of drawing or painting or whatever.

Her dad could've been off napping, but as long as he wore his uniform, he was a Man of Importance.

She wondered how, exactly, a comically bright uniform made people take him seriously, but she wondered if it would apply to herself as well. Before she could talk herself out of it, Audrey started on a path to the armory, following the route that had been pointed drawn out in a map somewhere in her briefing packet. If anything happened, she would just ditch the suit. She probably wouldn't even be able to go into the field.

Two elevator rides, three missteps, and a lot of hallways later, Audrey found herself in the armory. She swiped her key card to unlock the room. The screen on the reader flashed with a message. _CARTER, AUDREY._ The large metal door slid open and she passed through into the armory. The attendant by the door raised an eyebrow at her.

"Um, Tony Stark sent me down here?" When he didn't react, she added, "Audrey Carter?"

"Left hallway, one door down."

Audrey wasn't surprised by how large the weapons room was, but she _was_ intimidated. Practically everything in here had the capability to kill someone, something she was decidedly not down with. It was part of the reason why she chose to pursue a less-combative career. She doubted that she would be able to bring herself to ever take a life, even if it was a faceless guard somewhere.

Taking the left hallway per the guard's instructions, Audrey found herself in front of yet another I.D. scanner. At this point, her heart was racing in her chest. She was suddenly acutely aware of everything happening: the costume, the hypothetical alien invasion, the recent rediscovery of her dad. The world could be coming to an end, and she was part of the group that was supposed to stop that. How was she supposed to stop the apocalypse? She barely knew how to manage her mom's medical paperwork.

_You handled your dad coming back pretty… okay._ Decently. _Well enough._ Now, that whole issue was being dwarfed by everything else at stake. What did it _matter_ if her dad wanted to be her dad, if they were both _dead_? Or in an alien prison, or something?

She scanned her badge with trembling fingers as the door slid open, and there it was.

A long-sleeved, royal blue suit clothed the mannequin. The fabric looked almost like it was from another planet,like the metal of Thor's armor. Bulletproof, Tony had said. The uniform was bulletproof. On the shoulder of the uniform was a S.H.I.E.L.D. logo, subtle, but there. She suddenly thought of Peggy, and had a pang of emotion for her mother. This was all her mom's work. Without S.H.I.E.L.D., Loki might've already enslaved the human race. An overwhelming swell of pride hit her. Her mother was still saving the world, even if she sometimes forgot her own name.

The suit was matched by an almost metallic-looking skirt. It was a deep red, hit just above the mannequin's knee, and matched the cape.

Which, yeah. Tony hadn't been kidding when he said cape. The dark red fabric cascaded down the back of the uniform. Audrey wasn't sure what it was for; she didn't fly, obviously. She searched the room for some clue as to why it was there, finally discovering a screen that lit up to reveal bulleted points that detailed every feature. Fireproof cape made of a flexible metallic polymer. Bulletproof suit that, when coupled with her super strength, should be even more effective than a kevlar. The belt that divided the skirt from the suit had built-in sheaths. Skirt for extended flexibility, and, as Tony annotated in his handwriting, _fashion._

Audrey wasn't sure how to proceed. She felt a strange mix of honor, and childlike wonder, and pride, but most of all, anxiety. She'd been called in to fight. The world was at stake, literally, and with her own S.H.I.E.L.D., her own suit, her mother's reminder on its shoulder, she realized that it didn't _matter_ if she drew attention to herself. A fight was a fight, and as long as she was doing her part to help her parents, and Tony, and the _really_ terrifying woman who'd trained her just an hour ago, she'd be doing her part.

Audrey stared up at the uniform, jaw on the floor. Suddenly, the weight of her name, and everything that came with it seemed to weigh a lot heavier on her shoulders.

But she was willing to carry that burden. For the right cause. For the right people.

Fifteen minutes later, clothed in the suit and feeling slightly more confident, Audrey arrived in the lab. Sure, she was proud to wear the suit. But the looks of confusion people had given her when she headed back to the upper levels of the ship were kind of… awkward.

Darcy was the first to greet her when she stepped through the doorway. "Cute look," she said, perking up from her spot on a stool. "Most people can't pull that off at seventy."

Audrey's eyes widened. She didn't need to think too hard before figuring who had told the brunette. "Tony!" she barked. "You can't just— _Tony!"_

The man in question finally looked up from the screen where he was furiously typing in data. "Hmm? I can't just what?" Stepping out from behind the lab table, he added, "Nice suit, by the way. A genius must have designed it."

"Well, that's what the tests say but I beg to differ. You can't just… _tell people_ who don't have clearance that I'm seventy years old."

Darcy turned to Tony apologetically. "Sorry, Iron-dude. Was I not supposed to tell her that?"

He waved her off, turning back to Audrey. " _I_ didn't do anything. That information was lowered to a clearance level 6."

" _Six?"_

"I, personally, think that the resemblance between you and Mr. Stars and Stripes is pretty obvious, but I guess Fury just wanted to make sure everyone knew who the tiny blonde on board was." Smirking, he added, "Or at least, that's what he said on the comms feed I just hacked into."

"Really? _That's_ what Fury sai—you _what?"_

Tony ignored her surprise, shrugging. "I've been downloading all of the information on this helicarrier onto a private server. All your secrets will be mine, or however that's supposed to go." He shrugged again. "Now, back to the uniform. How does it feel? Need any adjustments?"

"It's fine. The cape's a nice touch, I guess."

"More effective than your old man's shield, by… I'm gonna estimate about three-hundred percent. The cape can shield _other people_. Instead of, you know, one person all tucked up like a turtle. It makes him look significantly _less_ righteous when he does that, you know?"

"You can't just _hack_ into top-secret databases, Tony," Audrey argued, her voice growing louder. She folded her arms across her chest.

"What does S.H.I.E.L.D. want with the cube anyway? I call _bull_ on this sustainable energy schtick. I announced my green energy project months ago. They would've called me in to consult."

Audrey opened her mouth to argue, but then closed it. Tony had a point. S.H.I.E.L.D. should've called him in when they were considering energy. And what was the energy supposed to power? They weren't anywhere close to being short on funds, and a power bill was certainly the least of their worries.

She sighed, begrudgingly dropping her arms. "Anything you find stays in the lab. I'm not kidding." Then, noticing Steve's absence, she asked, "Where's Rogers?"

Tony held up a tool, pointing it in her direction. "Your father-dearest stormed out of here a while ago. If you see him, tell him that Stark Tower isn't ugly."

* * *

Steve didn't trust Nick Fury.

He trusted Audrey. He trusted his instincts. And that was it. Everyone else—Bucky, the Howling Commandos, the S.S.R.—was gone. Now, surrounded by spies, it was more than obvious that things were being kept from him.

Even though he hated to admit it, Tony was right. Nothing was adding up. He didn't understand much about the science surrounding the Tesseract, but he knew enough to realize that if S.H.I.E.L.D. knew about Stark's energy project, they would've asked him for help. Now, he understood wanting to keep _some_ things from the guy, just based on the day he'd known him, but not an area Tony was an expert on. Not when his job as a consultant was to be consulted.

By the time he reached the archives, Steve was determined to figure out what was going on. There was a scanner on the side of the door that he knew Audrey could use her badge to open, but he didn't have a card.

That didn't matter, he decided. After he checked over his shoulder to make sure the guards were out, he began to pull on the metal, which squeaked and groaned in his grip. It took a second, but the door finally gave way, allowing him to open it enough to pass through.

The storage room was a large warehouse. Metal crates were stacked on massive shelves that ran in aisle after aisle. He had no idea what he was looking for. The files weren't organized in any particular way, as he found after searching a few crates. He moved quietly, trying not to make too much noise in case there was someone else in the stacks.

He was five boxes deep into the failed-science-experiments section of the archives when he heard footsteps. Steve flipped the cover back onto the box he was searching through, trying to locate the sound of the footsteps. A pair of boots, it seemed. A woman. Coming from his seven o'clock.

Tucking himself behind a shelf, Steve waited for her to pass. He held his breath.

Sometimes, mostly when he was hiding, he realized that he almost missed being small. Back then, he was at least _able_ to remain covert. Not that he ever did, because, well, he'd always been getting into fights, but at least he could've.

The footsteps rounded closer to him, and he noticed that they weren't… deliberate. Whoever was striding towards him wasn't marching in a hurry. It was more of a strolling gait.

When the person finally passed by the aisle he was in, they didn't head straight past him, like he expected. Instead, the woman made a turn, then looked up from the phone in her hand.

"Audrey?" he asked. She was dressed differently. "Nice uniform."

Her face went from concentrated to grinning. "Thanks! Uh, Stark designed it for me. Um. Different Stark from the one who designed yours, though. Obviously." She cringed, then, as if remembering something, twisting her face back up in concentration. "What are you doing down here?"

Steve would have answered, but he hadn't had time to come up with an excuse for being where he was.

Audrey looked worried as she continued, "If you have to rip the door off its tracks to get in here, you probably shouldn't… you know… be here. I don't want to get you in trouble, or yell at you or whatever. But, um, you really shouldn't."

Steve stepped out of the shadows. He didn't want to lose Audrey's trust, but he wasn't willing to give up this easily. "Fury's hiding something from us. I want to know what he's doing with the cube."

She hesitated visibly. Like him, she seemed to be a terrible liar. "Did Tony get into your head?"

He shrugged, not wanting to admit it. But still, he answered, "Some of it makes sense. If he's really such a big deal with all of that energy science, he should've… been called in." He took a breath. "Do you trust Fury?"

Audrey fiddled with the bottom of her sleeve for a moment. "I… well, uh, I guess I trust that he'll do what he thinks is right." She stopped, even though she sounded like she wanted to say more.

"But?"

"But… what he thinks is right isn't always the right thing. He's in charge of a lot, and you can't… it's hard to trust people who control so much."

Steve nodded.

"I'll help you look," she blurted suddenly. "I think there's something happening here, and I mean, I might get fired but, um… I can't actually find a bright side, but let's deal with that later." She sucked in a breath. "What are we looking for?"

Looking around the room, he replied, "Not sure. Anything on the Tesseract, or on what S.H.I.E.L.D. was planning to do with it."

"Okay," she said, nodding. "Alright."

For the next half hour, they scoured the shelves of the room. There was nothing on the Tesseract that they could find in the hard copies. It was only when Audrey opened a box with a gasp that they really found something.

"Oh my god," she whispered, shutting it immediately and backing away. When Steve looked over, she seemed alarmed.

"What is it?" he asked.

She shook her head, but didn't answer.

What could possibly be this bad? He took slow steps towards the box, carefully opening it to see what, exactly, had jarred her so much. But when he saw what was inside, he had practically the same reaction. Because the box?

It was storing HYDRA weapons.

"I had no idea!" she blurted.

S.H.I.E.L.D. had been holding onto HYDRA weapons. The HYDRA that had terrorized Europe and almost gotten him killed. The organization that killed his fellow soldiers, that caused so much damage, and S.H.I.E.L.D. had kept their weapons. S.H.I.E.L.D. was supposed to be the good guys. He knew it was never that simple, but _still._ They'd rescued him. They'd given him an apartment. They'd reunited him with Audrey.

Audrey. Her defensiveness seemed suspicious now, now that he knew he couldn't trust anyone. "You're a highly-ranked S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, and you had no idea they were making HYDRA weapons?"

In a period of about three seconds, her face went through an entire range of emotion: shock, distress, and then a previously hidden anger.

"Do you really think that I, knowing who my parents are, would approve of this?" She seemed almost on the verge of tears as she continued, "You're _Captain America._ And I know that you—you're new to me, and you've never met me, but I've _always_ known about you. You've always been a part of my life. I wouldn't… I wouldn't do this. Do you think I would, with mom being who she was? Do you think I'd support the use of weapons built by the organization that my parents both fought against?"

By the time she took in another shaky breath, Steve was already regretting his words. Of course she wouldn't. Peggy would've raised her to know better, would've instilled better morals in her. She was wearing a uniform, ready to fight, just like him. It was unfair for him to say something like that, when she'd proven so many times in the past two days alone that she was the same as him, always wanting to do the right thing.

Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "We have to confront Fury about this," she said finally, pushing aside the fact that he had questioned her loyalty.

Audrey threw her arm down into the container to grab one of the weapons, but Steve could see her pause before she grabbed it, unsure only for a second. Then, it was back to rage. Gun in hand, she marched him down to the lab.

Steve blew out a breath. How were they ever supposed to be a team like this?

* * *

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First and foremost, I'm so sorry for the delay in updating! I was on holiday with my family, and the day I scheduled to be for writing I ended up in the emergency room, and then later on the trip I ended up in the hospital again, and then when I got home I was stalled trying to get ready for my sophomore year, so I haven't had time or the motivation, but recently, my muse has begun to come back! Thank you to CatrinaSL for being a wonderful beta as per usual.
> 
> Also, if you're wondering, Natasha's fight scenes/training references come from the Red Room scenes in Agent Carter.
> 
> Shoutout to all my readers who are also writers, it was fanfic writers appreciation day on Sunday!
> 
> If you're interested, guys, I have a list of actors/actresses who I envision when I write my original characters. I'm willing to post them if you guys want!
> 
> Anyways, I'd appreciate a review so, so much. They're such a big deal to me honestly, and it motivates me way more when I get feedback.
> 
> **Chapter Eight:** Bonds Broken  
>  _  
> Everything was erupting into chaos. Audrey watched, helpless, as their almost-team began to fall apart._


	8. Bonds Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well. This throws a wedge things.

******1988**

Audrey decided, about two weeks and 3500 miles too late, that she did not look good in plaid.    

Three months ago, Peggy had given her a choice between staying in New York or accompanying her on a mission in London.  New York meant Maria, and Howard, and Tony.  But the Starks had been pretty absent recently—with Tony off inventing things in his lab most of the time, and Howard dealing with business.  Maria was currently working with charities upstate, hosting galas and banquets that Audrey couldn’t attend, for fear of getting caught on camera.  

Laura and Martin had both gone off to college, and Daniel was doing some detective work in L.A.  He offered Audrey the chance to stay with him while he worked, but that just meant she would be around cops, who would get curious about who she was, which wouldn’t end up going well, probably.  

As appealing as it was to hide alone in her room in New York until Christmas, she knew that eventually her records would get boring, and she would get lonely, and since Daniel hadn’t budged on his anti-dog position in almost forty years, Audrey made the bold move to head over to London for a semester.  And while Peggy had her mission to deal with—crazy technological geniuses trying to take over the world,  _ again _ —Audrey had her own cover: American exchange student.  

Which,  _ okay _ , wasn’t  _ that bad.   _ She didn’t have to learn Russian to play the part, or fake her death in a fire, or pull out a tooth or something.  She just had to go to school.  

But Audrey had never actually… done that before.  School was as foreign to her as the Soviet tundra, but the bus would arrive in ten minutes, and she still didn’t know if her shirt was supposed to look like that, or if she’d just gotten the wrong size.  The skirt—that  _ monstrosity  _ of a skirt—seemed to swallow her whole, as if she’d been eaten alive by a Scottish beast and then coughed back up.  She should be holding bagpipes.  

“Darling, you’ll miss your bus if you fuss around any longer,” Peggy called from down the hall.  “I’m leaving for work, I’ll see you at dinner!”  

Audrey panicked.  She grabbed the schoolbag and slung it over her shoulder.   _ It’s just a few months _ , she reminded herself.  By December, she’d see Tony again, she’d be celebrating Christmas and visiting the Captain America memorial statue with Peggy, like they did every year.  

And, like, she’d managed to deal with Tony for almost two decades.  A few months of school?  That should be a piece of cake.  

* * *

It only took until lunch for Audrey to realize that school was not a piece of cake.  The girls in her class took furious notes when they weren’t whispering to each other.  Everyone in the hallways regarded her as some kind of foreigner, which,  _ excuse you _ , her  _ mom  _ was British.  

She found herself in the lunchroom alone at a table, flipping through a book just to have something to do, when a girl yanked out a chair and plopped down next to her.  

“Hullo,” she greeted with a grin.  “I’m Karen.  You’re an American?”  

Audrey stared at her for a moment, jaw dropped open stupidly.  When she finally gathered herself, she answered, “Yes.  Yeah.  From New York.”  

Karen nodded slowly, impressed.  “That’s  _ ace _ .”  

“Um, yeah, I guess.  It’s cool.”  

Karen began to jabber then, pointing out different people in the lunchroom and describing them vividly.  “That’s Louisa, she’s dating Tom, who actually likes Beth, but Beth is dating his older brother, Harry.”  She went on introducing Audrey to everyone they could see, and Audrey began to relax in her seat, feeling that the trip wouldn’t be as awful as she thought.  

* * *

It was nice to have a friend.  

Audrey kept repeating it to herself, no matter how pathetic it sounded, but she’d never really  _ had  _ friends before.  Just Tony.  But Karen walked around with her to stores and the cinemas, and generally kept her company whenever they had free time.  They studied together, exchanging flash cards and notebooks whenever tests rolled around.  They had a good routine, a balance of going out and chattering and sitting in to watch movies.  

It wasn’t until November that something changed.  November eighth.  When Audrey’s history class began study of World War II.  It wasn’t immediate.  But Audrey could tell it was coming.  

“...and to help the troops, a scientist by the name of Dr. Erskine decided to do what?  Mary?”  

Mary’s sleeping body jolted, and she lifted her head from the desk.  “I’m sorry, what?”  

Audrey felt mildly offended by her indifference, before she remembered that not everyone dealt with issues caused by their war hero father dying before their birth.  The war was  _ so long ago.   _ Almost a half century.  And she was the only person in the room who had been born directly after its ending.  

She winced as Mary struggled to answer.  Audrey raised her hand.  Mr. Boyce nodded in her direction.  “Yes, Audrey?”  

“He wanted to, um, build an army of super soldiers.”  

“Well, I suppose you’re half correct.  He wanted to build one super soldier, someone to lead the rest.”  

Audrey opened her mouth to object, because, um,  _ no _ , he’d wanted to build an entire  _ army.   _ But maybe that was something she’d read in a file, instead of in a textbook.  

“Oh,” she amended.  “Right, of course.”     

“Right.  It’s not a problem.  Erskine travelled around the Eastern Seaboard in search of one man to do the job.  Now, I really hope you’ll know this one.  What was the name of the man he picked?”  

“Steve Rogers,” the class answered unanimously.  “Captain America!” one guy shouted from the back of the room, followed by guffaws.  

“Yes, Leo, that’s… correct.”  Mr. Boyce cleared his throat.  “Now, after the serum, what did Rogers end up doing?  Did he fight?”  

“No,” someone called out.  

“What did he do?” Mr. Boyce repeated.  

“Got laid, probably!” Leo shouted again.  Audrey’s face formed an unamused scowl as she pivoted in her desk to glare at him.  He didn’t seem to care.  

Class went on for another hour, Mr. Boyce trying to control the students.  As the bell rang, he called out, “Don’t forget, parent-teacher conferences are coming up.  I expect to see all of your mothers and fathers here sometime next week!”  

Audrey flinched at the words, an unpleasant feeling she couldn’t identify making its way through her veins.  

That night, she returned to the flat and finished her homework, feeling numb.  When she turned out the light and crawled into bed, Audrey began to feel herself become angry.  Why was it that she couldn’t have her father?  Why did he need to die?  Why did she have to lose her dad so that others could keep their own?  

The feeling burned in her stomach, and Audrey began to cry, shaking from the unfairness of it all, and then collapsing in repulse at her selfishness.  She wished she wouldn’t miss him so much, she’d never even  _ met  _ him.   _ Never _ , because he’d had to crash his plane in the arctic circle three months into Peggy’s pregnancy.  She sobbed and sobbed, and when Peggy checked on her that night after the daily phone call to Daniel, Audrey was still awake, curled into a ball, trying to stop the tears from washing over her cheeks.  The ache in her stomach had only grown as she wept, and her mother sat down on her bed next to her, flicking on the lamp.  

“Darling?” Peggy asked quietly.  

“I wish I’d known him,” Audrey answered quietly.  Peggy looked down at the floor for a moment, before reaching out to gather Audrey in her arms.  

“I wish that too, darling.”  The brunette carded a hand through her daughter’s hair.  “He was such a good man.  I can see him in you.  All the time.”  Peggy sighed, recalling the brief time she’d had with Steve.  “You look so much like him, and you act like him, too.  He was brave.”

Audrey snorted.  “I’m not brave.”  

“You’re in London with me, because you knew it would be more interesting than New York.  That’s brave.  Don’t doubt yourself.  You’re going to be something one day.”  Audrey sniffled.  “Do still want to stay until December?”  

Audrey bit her lip.  If she really was like her father, she wouldn’t leave now.  She owed that much.  

* * *

Her last day in school, they mentioned her in morning announcements so that all the people on her homeroom turned their eyes on her.  Karen cried as they embraced for one last time, exchanging phone numbers with the promise to stay in touch.  Audrey was glad she stayed.  

* * *

**2012**

“Loki’s gonna unleash the Hulk.  I’ll meet you in the labs.”  

Audrey had just begun to cry when Natasha’s words spilled through her comms piece.  Why was she being so  _ stupid  _ about the whole thing?  Who cared if Steve thought she wanted to rebuild HYDRA weapons?  She’d survived seventy years without him, without thinking she would ever see him again.  So why did it matter now?  

Her tears were furious and dejected, and she did her best to hide her face from any of the windows that they passed by, so that Steve wouldn’t see them.  

Every agent that they passed on their march to the lab sent her a funny look, and Audrey wanted to say something, to explain herself, but with what?   _ I can’t handle basic rejection and misunderstandings, that’s why I’m sobbing.   _ Or, even better,  _ Yes, I do realize that there’s a god on board who’s planning on enslaving the human race, but all I can focus on are my own problems.   _ Uh, no.  

She began to count her steps to distract herself.  By twenty, she’d managed to slow her breathing.  Forty, and she stopped crying.  But even as they arrived at the lab, her eyes were puffy and red, and she wanted nothing more than to go back to her tiny apartment, to swallow back her agreement to come on board.  

“What's Phase 2?” Tony wondered aloud as they stepped through the doors. 

Steve slammed one of the guns onto a metal table. Audrey jolted, and tears sprung back into her eyes.  This time, though, they were from fear.  She’d never seen Steve this furious before.  She’d never even  _ heard  _ of Steve being this furious.  “Phase two,” he spat, “is where S.H.I.E.L.D. uses the cube to build weapons.”  He turned his gaze onto Tony, announcing, “Sorry.  Computer was moving a bit too slow for me.”  

Tony raised an eyebrow at Steve, then turned his gaze onto Audrey.  Fury, meanwhile, moved from his spot in the corner towards Steve, raising a hand defensively.  “Rogers, we gathered everything we could on the Tesseract,” he placated.  “This does not mean—” 

“I’m sorry, Nick,” Tony interrupted.  Audrey blanched at the use of the director’s first name, waiting for him to punch Tony or something.  But the blow never came.  “Were you lying?”  Tony spun the monitor at his desk around so that everyone in the room could see the screen: blueprints for weapons that looked scarily similar to the HYDRA gun resting on the table.  

Audrey wanted to throw up.  This wasn’t what S.H.I.E.L.D. had been built for.  The point was to  _ protect  _ people, not hurt them.  Peggy hadn’t worked this hard for it to all be tossed away.  She was enraged, but also embarrassed at her naïveté.  In a secret agency, secrets had to be kept.  Nothing could be all good.  Nothing with this much power.  

“I guess I’ve been mistaken.”  Steve glowered at Fury.  “The world hasn’t changed one bit.”  He turned to Audrey, eyes still narrowed, but his gaze softened the slightest bit at her expression.  Her mouth was open in surprise and fear.  

“Is this what our work has been going toward?” Jane demanded.  “Weapons?  Is  _ that _ why you’re so determined that I find another wormhole?  So you can have access to more of these things?  Other worlds are  _ dangerous _ , you can’t just… just  _ walk into them because you want better weapons! _ ”  

The lab door slid open again, and Natasha stepped inside.  Thor was close behind her, and Jane’s eyes went from furious to bewildered and then back to angry.  

“ _ Thor?”   _ Her gaze roamed the room wildly, looking for someone to blame.  “Why didn’t anyone tell me he was here?”  

Bruce held up a hand.  He pointed to Natasha, and then to Audrey.  “Did you know about this?” he asked, the volume of his voice louder than usual.   

Audrey shook her head insistently.  “ _ No.   _ Of course not.”  

“You wanna think about removing yourself from this environment, Doctor?” Natasha suggested, making a point not to answer his question.  Her eyes were cold, terrifying.  They held an order in their irises, but Bruce appeared unaffected.  Audrey’s jaw dropped, nonplussed.  

“I was in Calcutta.  I was pretty well removed.”  

The fact that he was even  _ arguing  _ with the Black-frickin-Widow was a sign that the situation had escalated too far. 

“Bruce, wait.  You don’t know what you’re saying, Loki’s manipulating you,” Audrey tried to mollify.  “Maybe we should all just—”  

“Manipulation.  That’s funny.  What have all of you been doing since this mess got started?”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed, a warning.  She took a predatory step in the doctor’s direction.  “You didn’t come here because I bat my eyelashes at you,” she hissed.  

“Yes, and I’m not leaving just because suddenly you get a little twitchy.”  He removed his glasses and dropped them on the desk, allowing Audrey to see the anger in his face unobstructed.  “Now, I want to know why S.H.I.E.L.D. has been building weapons of mass destruction.”  

The room was silent for a minute, tension thick.  Everyone was fuming.  There were too many lies circulating for the whole  _ team  _ thing to work.  Audrey bit her lip.  She didn’t know how they would recover from something like this.  

It was a rarity, but Fury finally gave them an honest answer.  “Because of  _ him _ ,” he spat, pointing at Thor.  

“Me?” Thor said, just as Jane blurted, “Him?”  The god looked genuinely taken aback at the accusation.  Audrey realized a beat later that she was surprised, too.  Thor had never attacked earth.  It had always been  _ other  _ aliens.  

Fury dropped his accusing point, and glanced around the room.  “Last year, earth had a visitor from another planet who had a grudge match that levelled a small town.”  

Audrey cringed ad the thought of Puente Antiguo.  Even though she’d only been working the case for a few days before she was pulled out, she’d seen some of the weird things that had happened.  Thor, the Excalibur of hammers.  The reports depicted photos of a flaming, alien robot that had been dubbed “The Destroyer.”  Quite fitting, since it managed to wipe nearly an entire town off the map.  

“We learned,” Fury continued, “that not only are we not alone, but we are hopelessly,  _ hilariously  _ outgunned.”  

Audrey slumped back against the doorway.  Fury had… a point.  Ish.   _ Yes _ , it was terrifying that aliens existed.  And  _ yes _ , it was terrifying that some of them were hostile.  But was it really the best choice to experiment with an unlimited energy source?  Something  _ that  _ potent?  

Was there even a correct way to react?  

Her head was swimming.  Would she have to keep this from Peggy?  Her mother was so old now, she didn’t need this kind of stress.  It was better for her to keep thinking that everything she’d built, all the power she’d centered, wasn’t being abused.  This was her life’s work.  

“My people want nothing but peace with your people,” Thor insisted.  

“But you’re not the only people out there, are you?” Fury fired back.  Audrey’s gaze slid over to Steve, who still looked ready to punch something, but was swinging his head back and forth like he was watching a tennis match.  “You’re not the only threat.  The world is filling up with people who can’t be matched.  Who can’t be controlled.”  

“Like you controlled the Cube?” Steve interjected.  

“ _ Your  _ work with the Tesseract is what drew Loki towards it,” Thor informed them.  Something akin to defensiveness flashed in his narrowed eyes, and Audrey realized that insulting a kingdom in front of its prince was a  _ terrible idea.   _ “It is the signal to all the realms that the earth is ready for a higher form of war.”  

“A higher  _ form?”  _ Steve questioned dubiously.  

“Wait, so we found this strange blue glowing thing and now we’re poking it, so all the aliens suddenly think we’re ready to size up?” Darcy called, from the corner of the room.  Fury’s steel gaze deflated into annoyance, and he shot the assistant a stern look.  “I’m just  _ saying _ , but that’s some terrible fucking logic.”  

“We needed to be ready, in the event that someone else decided to attack.”  

“Funny how your emergency-preparedness plan landed you in an emergency,” Tony scoffed bitterly.  “A nuclear deterrent.  Because that  _ always  _ calms things down.”  

“Remind me again how you made your fortune?” Fury asked rhetorically.  Tony was unbothered by the jab, ambling his way around the side of the table.

Steve glared at the director.  “I’m sure if he still made weapons, Stark would be neck deep—” 

“Wait, hold on,” Tony interrupted.  “How is this now about me?”  

“I’m sorry, isn’t everything?”  Steve puffed up his chest, taking another step towards Tony.  

She could sense that the tension between the two was about to explode.  Audrey pushed off the doorway, suddenly, nearly stumbling as she made her way into the middle of the conversation.  “That’s enough!” Audrey burst out, then slapped a hand over her mouth.  When had she made the decision to do  _ that?  _

_ It’s too late now, Carter, _ she thought to herself.   _ Just spit it out.   _

“You’re all too old to act like this,” she snapped.  

“Too old?”  Tony snorted humorlessly.  _  “Surprise, Audrey _ , but this is what it’s like to  _ be an adult! _ ” Tony shouted.  “Adults get into arguments, they don’t just  _ go along with things.   _ They don’t just  _ pretend that it’s all gonna be great.   _ Just because you look like you’re twenty doesn’t mean you’re excused from  _ growing the hell up!”   _

Audrey scoffed.  “Oh  _ please _ , Tony.  I’ve been waiting for you to grow up for twenty-five years.  You don’t even know how to do your own taxes!  You don’t do  _ anything _ , because  _ you _ are the one that still acts like a goddamn child.”  Audrey clenched her hands into fists.  Were she and Tony fighting?  It seemed like they were.  But the two of them didn’t do this.  They didn’t have world altering arguments.  They were supposed to bicker casually and meaninglessly.  Not like this, questioning life decisions and yelling.  

The room exploded, suddenly, accusations flying left and right.  

“Are you all really that naive?” Audrey caught Natasha asking.  “S.H.I.E.L.D. monitors potential threat lists.”  

“And Captain America’s on that list?” Bruce laughed humorlessly.  

“We all are,” the redhead responded, crossing her arms.  Tony and Steve were still bickering.  Jane was still yelling at Fury as Darcy tried her hardest to keep the scientist from jumping the Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.  But Natasha’s words were like a blow to Audrey’s stomach.   _ We all are.  We are all on the threat list.   _

_ We’re all threats. _  Audrey looked down at her hands, locked together into fists.  How much damage could she inflict with her hands alone?  She felt ashamed, suddenly, of her DNA.  She wished she were a seventy-year-old woman, a normal person.  The aging had been something she’d just dealt with, but now she was expected to unearth all the other effects of the serum: the inhuman strength, the way it had made her into a weapon without her consent.  

“I thought humans were more evolved than this,” Thor laughed, an air of precociousness dominating his tone.  “You speak of control, yet you court chaos.”  

“I mean, it’s his M.O., isn’t it?” Bruce stepped in.  “What are we?  A  _ team?”  _   He laughed, as though he’d never heard something so absurd.  “No.  No, no, we’re a chemical mixture that  _ makes  _ chaos.  We’re a  _ time bomb _ .”

Fury stepped towards him.  “You need to step away, Doctor.”  

Tony threw an arm around Steve, like they were old pals.  “Why shouldn’t the guy let off a little steam?”  

“Tony!” Audrey snapped.  “What’s wrong with you?”  

Everyone else in the room grew quiet, watching carefully for Steve’s reaction.  

“You know  _ damn well  _ why!  Back off.”  He shrugged Tony away, sending the billionaire stumbling back a few inches.  Audrey stepped out of the way, toward Jane and Darcy.  

“I’m starting to want you to make me,” Tony challenged.  His eyes narrowed, and Audrey could see the gears spinning in his head, already laying out a plan of attack in case it escalated that far.   _ Please don’t _ , she wanted to say,   _ Please don’t try and fight Captain America, Tony.   _

“Big man in a suit of armor.  Take that off, what are you?”  

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist,” he listed easily.  Audrey rolled her eyes.  Unbelievable.  Natasha shrugged and Thor smirked.  

Steve did not flinch.  “I know some people with  _ none of that  _ who are worth ten of you.”  Audrey grimaced at the present tense.  Would she have to tell Steve that the Commandos were mostly gone?  Had he realized it already, and just slipped up?  “I’ve seen the footage.  You’re not the guy to make the sacrifice play, to lay down on a wire and let the other guy crawl over you.”  

Tony shrugged.  “I think I’d just cut the wire,” he responded simply, unaffected by Steve’s speech.  

Steve spared a bitter smile.  “Always a way out.  You know, you  might not be a threat, but you better stop pretending to be a hero.”  

“A hero?  What, like you?  You’re a laboratory experiment, Rogers.  Everything special about you came out of a bottle.”  

This time, Steve stumbled back.  The anger in his face transformed into hurt.  For a second, he looked like the photo Peggy had on the mantle above their fireplace: Steve, before the serum.  He didn’t look sure of himself.  He looked a lot like Audrey.  

And then, just as quick as it had come, it dissolved.  His eyes hardened.  “Put on the suit, let’s go a few rounds.”  

Oh  my god.  Tony wasn’t the one to initiate the dumb fight.  It had been  _ Steve.   _ “Guys, let’s not fight each other.” Audrey interrupted.  “There’s the whole alien thing that we should deal with first—”

“You people are so petty.  And tiny,” Thor sniggered helpfully. Audrey’s expression dropped, and she turned to him with a glare. 

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, this is a team,” Bruce remarked sarcastically. He laughed bitterly and crossed his arms. 

“Agent Romanoff.  Would you escort Doctor Banner out of this?” Fury requested, a thin veil of politeness disguising how frustrated he was growing.  

“Where?  You rented my room.”  Audrey was confused by Banner’s words for a moment, until everything clicked into place. The giant glass cage where Loki was sitting at this very moment had been meant for the Hulk. It was a giant slap in Bruce’s face, and she frowned. 

Fury tried to calm him down, explaining, “The cell was just in case…”  

“In case you needed to kill me.  But you  _ can’t. _  I know.  I’ve tried.”

The words were like a blow to Audrey’s gut.  _ I’ve tried. I've tried. I've tried.  _ Everyone in the room, including Bruce, froze suddenly. He shrank, regret painted over his face. 

Even though he looked uncomfortable, the scientist continued, “I got low. I didn't see an end, so I put a bullet in my mouth and the other guy spit it out. So I moved on. I focused on helping other people. I was good, until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk!” 

_ Oh god. What did we do?   _ Audrey closed her eyes. This was a mistake. When S.H.I.E.L.D. said they were going to bring in Bruce Banner, she assumed it would be his  _ choice.  _

She really needed to stop assuming things. 

“You wanna know my secret, Agent Romanoff?” he prodded. The redhead slid a hand over to the gun resting at her hip. Audrey frowned, eyes going over to Bruce. She tensed when Bruce reached out, grabbing the edge of the scepter in his fist. “Do you want to know how I stay calm?” he shouted. 

Nobody in the room moved for a moment. Then Steve broke the silence. “Doctor Banner...” he began slowly. “Put down the scepter.”

The doctor’s eyes flicked to his hand.  They widened, bewildered, at the weapon he was holding, like someone who’d been possessed. 

Nobody moved. Even Darcy, Audrey noticed, had stopped swiveling the lab stool back and forth. 

It was only when Tony’s monitor beeped again that everyone came back to life. Natasha pulled her hand away from her gun, as did Fury; Audrey unclenched her fist; even Steve went from his well-rehearsed calm to something more honest to how he was feeling: blindsided, angry, and confused. 

“We got it,” Tony said, tapping on the screen a few times. 

Bruce replaced the scepter in its holder, dropping his head in an attempt to avoid eye contact. “Well, kids, looks like you don't get to see my party trick after all.” He crossed over to the console, staring at it with more focus than was necessary. Audrey could tell that he was still thinking about his outburst.  

“Have you located the Tesseract?” Thor asked.  

“I can get there faster—” Tony jumped in.  

Steve tried to interrupt, but not before Thor responded.  “The Tesseract belongs on Asgard.  No human is a match for it.”  

The three bickered back and forth, but Audrey kept her eyes on Bruce, waiting for him to say something.  The purposeful gaze on the screen had become something terrified, and the blonde furrowed her brow.  “Oh my god,” Banner muttered.  

Audrey opened her mouth to ask what happened, but before the could force the words out, an explosion sent her flying.  She grabbed the edge of the cape on instinct and yanked it to cover her head and the body of whoever had just toppled onto her.  Fragments of glass flew from the shattered windows into her palm.  Someone screamed.  

And then everything went black.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody asked for a cliffhanger but you got one anyway.  Things were going so well, weren’t they?  And then I just blew everything up.  I’m so sorry about the long wait.  It what was a surprise to nobody except me, sophomore year is apparently harder than freshman year??  I guess there’s more work??  So.  
> 
> I got a few messages about the cast list so here are the faceclaims for the OCs in this story!  (This is obviously just how I envision them, you can do what you want I’m not your mom).  
> 
> Audrey Carter Rogers-Melissa Benoist
> 
> Caroline Carmichael-Katie Cassidy
> 
> Lindsey Dubois-Kat Graham
> 
> Claudia Jeong-Jamie Chung
> 
> Erin Simons-Rashida Jones
> 
> And here is the part where I beg for reviews, because they really do mean a lot to me.  It can be kind of discouraging to only get a small response, and while I promise I’m not going to hold chapters hostage or anything, your feedback is so so important.  s/o again to CatrinaSL for being an excellent beta.
> 
> Chapter Nine: Time Runs Out
> 
> “Grenade!” Maria shouted.  Audrey lunged for the other woman, wrapping the cape around her.  Thank you, Tony.  


	9. Time Runs Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fists and bullets fly aboard the Helicarrier.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is dedicated to Emilia for being endlessly supportive with edits and love for Audrey even when I'm a bad author who doesn't update for the entire fall season. Also a shoutout to CatrinaSL who once again saved this from being trash.

When Audrey came to, she was distinctly aware of two sensations. One: glass was prodding into the skin on her hands and legs, and two: through her comm, someone was shouting " _The helicarrier has been attacked!"_ over and over and _over_ again.

"No kidding," she mumbled, pulling off her glasses and tossing them aside. The glass shattered, shards lost amongst the mess left over from the windows in the labs. Audrey groaned as she peeled herself up off of the floor, skin burning from the blast so much that she almost wanted to lie down and die already. But when she rolled over and sat up, she noticed two more people that had fallen through the glass with her: Jane and Darcy.

While she'd managed to block most of the explosion from hitting them directly, Jane was completely unconscious and Darcy was only shifting slightly. From further away, they both would've looked like lost causes.

"No, no, no," Audrey mumbled, shaking Jane and slapping her lightly on the face. "Nonononono. Doctor Foster, come on, please."

"What the _shit,_ " Darcy groaned, curled up in a ball next to her boss. Her glasses were askew, one lens showing the feathers of a fracture, and her hair was a mess. Her eyes blinked open slowly, and she sat up, screeching through closed lips as she did. "What the hell? Jane." She reached over, and, with much more force than Audrey, slapped Jane across the face. Still, she didn't stir.

"You know what? It doesn't matter. We have to go," Audrey announced. Leaning over, she slung an arm under Jane's shoulders and lifted her up. They needed to get her—and Darcy, for that matter—to a med wing. Soon.

Darcy heaved herself up off the ground, slinging Jane's other arm around her, and the two women began to make their way through the labyrinth of hallways. Audrey opened her mouth to say something akin to, _it's okay if we move slowly so long as nobody passes out_ , until the sound of a roar pierced through the walls. A roar that sounded uncannily similar to the Hulk. So instead, she declared, "We need to move faster."

Audrey and Darcy picked up speed, and between them, Jane's slight body began to show signs of consciousness. She was far from able-bodied, but she began to mumble meaningless sentiments quietly from her spot between them.

It seemed like hours had passed before they reached the main bridge, even though it had probably been under five minutes. Once there, Audrey was able to pass Jane off to another agent, and she and Darcy were escorted to the med bay. Audrey decided to stick around and wait for further orders.

Fury approached her, a large cut on his forehead, looking mad as hell. He pointed to Audrey and Hill. "We need a full evac on the lower bay. _Now._ "

"Yes sir," they replied. Both of them began making their way towards the exit, but before they could, something rolled out towards them.

"Grenade!" Maria shouted.

Audrey acted on instinct. _I hope you were right about this thing being fireproof_ , _Tony_ , she prayed, grabbing the edge of her cape for the second time that day and tackling Maria to the ground. She winced as she stood, the cape now looking like it wouldn't survive another explosion.

It took another shout from Hill as she rolled behind cover and pulled out her sidearm for the blonde to remember that—oh, right—if there was a grenade, someone must have thrown it. For a second, she thought that it might be Barton, that they might be able to stop him. But when she looked up, all she saw were men in S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform, faceless people she'd never met before.

Of _course_ they were in S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform. Loki wanted to make things as difficult as possible, and it was pretty damn hard to stop your enemy when you didn't know who your enemy was.

Two gunshots rang out and Audrey flinched, gritting her teeth. Across the room, Fury was trying to stop the men from getting any further into the room. She knew that if they were able to mix in with the actual S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, there would be hell to pay, so without knowing what she was doing, Audrey sprinted up the stairs and lunged forward at one of the men. Fury pulled his gun away just before she hit him, pulling his helmet off and grabbing his shoulders. Audrey rammed his head into the wall once, twice, _thrice_ , until he passed out.

From his desk, Sitwell shouted into the comms, "We got a perimeter breach! Hostiles are in S.H.I.E.L.D. gear. Hold on to every junction."

"Lord," Audrey murmured under her breath, inhales and exhales jumbled together in a ragged mess of oxygen. The gravity of the situation was hitting her for the first time since the explosion. They were under attack, on a giant flying boat that could fall out of the sky at any second. Either they were going to have to find every single one of Loki's men on the ship and kill them, or they were going to have to knock the boat out of the sky and die with them.

Audrey had just gotten her dad back. She knew that it was probably selfish to feel the way she did, since she was able to live much longer than the average person, but still, hopelessness was not a feeling she was accustomed to. She didn't want to give up. Not without a fight.

And, well, if her choices were to die quietly or die fighting, she was going to go down swinging. Even if it cost her own life, maybe she would be able to save someone else.

There was little time to dwell on this further, because before she knew it, another one of Loki's men was hurtling towards her. Audrey yelped as he struck her behind her knee with his heel, but she tried her hardest not to let it faze her as she swung an angry fist up at his face. It dented the mask he wore, at least, and he stumbled back from the force of the blow. As he struggled to regain composure, she delivered a kick to his stomach, and then another one to the side of his head, knocking him to the floor. Once he was down, she kicked him again to knock him unconscious, and then waved at another one of the agents.

"Can you tie him, please? And disarm him."

The woman nodded, setting off to work.

"Sir," Audrey called to Fury. "Do you still want me working on evac?"

Fury shook his head. "Let Hill and her staff deal with that. I need you helping out Stark and Rogers by Engine 3. We need to keep this goddamn boat in the sky."

"Copy that, sir."

Audrey felt surprisingly calm for someone who could die at any second. As she marched down the hallway, she felt some resignation in her chest, like _this_ was where she was meant to be. She had never been fated to sit at a desk, or work investigations. She was supposed to fight.

The hallways were oddly quiet for the most part, with the exception of a few agents sprinting back and forth from one bay to another. When Audrey arrived, she found one of Loki's men creeping up behind Steve. The super-soldier couldn't tell, though, as he was too occupied with trying to help Tony. She considered calling out to him, but that would just alert the man of her presence and possibly distract Steve from making sure Tony stayed safe, and it was just too many risks to take in that one moment.

As if possessed by something, she jumped on him from behind, wrapping an arm around his neck. Audrey took the heel of her palm and smashed it against his gun as hard as she could, satisfied when it fell from his fingers. She stumbled backwards with the soldier in tow, yanking him down towards the floor.

Unfortunately, she forgot to take into account that she was now pinned down.

The man slipped out of her chokehold, grabbing her own neck with a fist and beginning to squeeze.

_Oh no._ Audrey began to sputter, trying desperately to suck air into her lungs, but to no avail. She needed to get him off of her, before she passed out.

She scrambled, reaching over her hands for anything to grab onto. Her vision blurred, the seconds before she fell unconscious dwindling. Just as she was about to lose hope, her fingers grazed on the cool metal of a fallen pipe. Audrey closed her fist around it, lifting it up and swinging it with all of the strength she could muster. It made contact with a satisfying thud, knocking him off of her, and then, with a second blow, unconscious.

Audrey gasped for air, trying to take a moment to catch her breath. She could still feel his gloved hand around her neck, knew for sure that there were bruises. More men—five that she could count—began to arrive from the hallway, and Audrey forced herself to stand up. She grabbed another pipe, this one slightly shorter, and gripped them like batons. The weight distribution was wrong, and they were too wide to be completely comfortable, but she would take what she could get.

She lunged forward, slamming the first soldier in the head with the side of the makeshift baton, and then dropped, spinning around to knock his legs out from under him. He bumped into the man behind him, and Audrey took advantage of his discombobulation by flipping her pseudo-baton and jabbing him in the chest with the blunt end of it.

When a third soldier grabbed her by the shoulders and tried to pull her off of the second, she took the pipe in her left hand and whacked him in the nose with all her might. It rattled with the force, sending vibrations up her arm. Audrey hissed, but he dropped her back onto her feet. She threw an elbow back into his already-bloodied nose and he cursed, but she didn't relent, turning and kicking him in the stomach. He collapsed into a wall and bowled over.

Audrey turned back towards the second soldier just in time to catch a punch to the face. She staggered back, tripping over her own feet as her vision blurred. At the exact moment, she couldn't tell if it was dizziness from being hit so hard or tears springing into her eyes. She blinked until her vision was more or less cleared, and then tried again.

She kicked the second soldier in the ribs, then grabbed him by the head and shoved him into the fourth soldier. When his unconscious body landed on top of the fourth man, he was unable to stand, and Audrey was able to knock him unconscious.

The fifth soldier raised his gun at her chest and she tried kicking it out of his hands. To an extent, it was a success—the bullet he'd fired flew past her head and into a wall instead of hitting her. But the weapon was still securely gripped between his fingers.

Audrey shouldered him out of the way, trying to grab the gun without making it possible for him to shoot her unless he wanted to point the gun in _his_ direction too. When he wouldn't let go, she shoved it back into his nose with all her strength, and he gasped before he, too, fell over onto the ground.

"Engine one is down. I repeat, we have lost all power in engine one," Sitwell's voice declared through the comms system. Audrey frowned as she could feel the ship tilting, and she began to slide towards the left side of the hallway. _Crap._ She needed to get to Tony and Steve now. She threw a glance through the hole in the wall, where Steve was balancing dangerously on a metal grate as Tony flew about behind him, searching for something. Audrey threw herself forward onto the grate, regretting it immediately when Steve jumped in surprise. "Sorry!" she shouted. "I'm so sorry, Steve. Oh my god."

"What are you doing here?"

"Fury wanted me to help out here and make sure nobody fell out of the… _sky._ " She glanced down and her stomach flip-flopped, because _holy crap we're thousands of feet above solid ground._ Audrey didn't have a fear of heights necessarily, but she thought she might start to with this much distance below her.

There was a loud bang, suddenly, and she didn't have time to be afraid. A stray bullet flew towards Steve and he ducked to stop it from hitting him, but the move caused him to tumble off the grate.

" _No!"_ Audrey shouted, shooting an arm out to grab him before she could stop herself, and _Jesus Christ he's heavy._ She gritted her teeth as she pulled him back up to safety, her muscles burning. Steve reached up and grabbed the grate, relieving Audrey of some of the weight and pulling himself up.

"Cap, I need the lever!" Tony shouted through the suit's speakers.

"Lever?" Audrey asked, as Steve righted himself. He nodded, scaling the wall and moving closer to a control panel a few meters away.

Audrey turned back to the gunman, and he, considering it an open shot, began to fire again. She threw herself in front of Steve, almost slipping on the ledge, and closed her eyes, waiting for the sting and the blood to come.

She felt something strike her in the chest, hard, like having a rock thrown at her, but when she opened her eyes, she was still in one piece. The bullet had bounced off her chest and down through the sky, flying towards the ground. Audrey narrowed her eyes and the gunman took aim again, only for another S.H.I.E.L.D. agent—an _actual_ one this time—to fly out and knock him out of the ship.

Audrey released a breath of relief. Two strong hands grabbed her by the shoulders and spun her around so she was facing Steve, who looked both appalled and bewildered that she wasn't bleeding out. "Thank god Tony made it bulletproof, right?" she assured him.

Slowly, his face began to go from panicked to victorious, and she, too, began to smile.

The moment of happiness was short-lived, however, because the words spoken through the comms a moment later were enough to make her blood run cold.

"Agent Coulson is down."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can explain? Sort of? I know it's been three months since I updated, but school has been pretty much impossible recently and while I do still love this story with my entire heart I wasn't able to make time for it over the last few months. This chapter is short, too, and I know that's kind of a crap way to make up for a three month absence, but I promise that things are going to come together soon. As of now, we're only three chapters away from the Battle of New York! I hope you enjoyed this chapter, please please please try and leave a review on the way out. Tell me what you liked, didn't like, what you think of the fight scenes, how much you hate me for being inconsistent and lagging in my update schedule.
> 
> _Chapter 10: Mourners Before a Funeral_
> 
> "Romanoff's comm went out before Coulson's death was reported. You're the most empathetic person on this boat. I need you to tell her."


	10. Mourners Before a Funeral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Helicarrier reels from Coulson's death, more heart-to-hearts, and Audrey panics.

When Audrey met Phil Coulson for the first time, he was fresh out of the Academy and she was interning in the linguistics department for a few years. She looked like she was fourteen years old at the time.

The two had never been close—different departments and assignments, him only knowing about her parentage when he reached a level 9. (Before that, any S.H.I.E.L.D. agent who crossed paths with her was just told that she was a child prodigy).

Nonetheless, Audrey remembered Coulson as one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s most dedicated agents. He was incredibly loyal and had one of the longest field histories in the agency. But more than that, he'd always been kind to her without needing a reason.

She could remember him bringing her donuts whenever he headed down to the cafeteria for coffee, or, once he became her supervisor, and the faith he showed in her when she headed her first team. Audrey recalled his excitement when he'd collected all of the Captain America trading cards, his selflessness whenever his field team needed to work with her investigative one, the days they'd spent together during the eventful mission in New Mexico. She could recall the day he spontaneously started listening to cello music and his obsession with that dumb red car, and these details were what brought tears to her eyes when she reached the scene of his death. His body had been covered by the time she got there, but they hadn't had the chance to wheel it away.

She swiped at the tears with her hands. Act professional. But… was she just supposed to watch this stone-cold? This was her work life and her emotions intersecting, and she didn't know which direction to follow.

Audrey threw a hand over her mouth as they lifted him onto the stretcher, a sob threatening to fall from her lips. No victory comes without its costs, she reminded herself. Coulson had been at the front of the fight against Loki. The idea that he could be replaced was so far out of her grasp that she couldn't bear to picture it.

Loki had gone for the heart of this mission. And he'd succeeded.

Audrey clenched her fists and squeezed her eyes shut. She imagined that, had she known him better, she'd feel much more sadness than anger at Coulson's death. And while she was mourning, she was feeling something much more prominent: rage.

"Carter."

Her eyes flew open and she swivelled, the hem of her cape brushing against her ankles and grounding her back to reality. She was looking Fury in the eye.

There was a reasonable chance it was her imagination, but she could swear she saw something in him soften for a fraction of a second. He hesitated briefly before he said anything. "Romanoff's comm went out before Coulson's death was reported," he decided after a moment. "You're the most empathetic person on this boat. I need you to tell her."

Audrey nodded. "Where is she?"

"Infirmary room nine." The blonde thought that Romanoff might've gotten injured in the attack, but then Fury followed with, "She's with Barton." Audrey paused for a minute, processing this. Barton's back. They might've lost one of the most powerful members of their team, but so had Loki.

When she finally figured out how to make her feet move again, she exited through one of the hallways. This is good, she thought. If I can make my legs move forward we can figure out how to make an army move too.

As she passed through the sterile maze of halls, she considered what Fury had called her. Empathetic. Was that meant to be a compliment or an insult? In the real world, maybe a compliment. But here? Probably not.

It didn't matter. It was making her useful now.

The entire organization was reeling, she knew that, but at some point, she was going to need to talk to Tony and figure things out. That fight had been out of line, but more importantly, it had been out of character. Had he meant what he said about her being immature? Had she meant what she said, or had it just been anger? They needed to talk.

That is, if they survived long enough to have a heart-to-heart.

And as of the matter at hand, how was she supposed to tell one of the most terrifying people she knew that their mentor had died? Audrey knew that Coulson had reached out to Natasha when Clint brought her back. She'd been twenty-three at the time. Barely more than a child. And for all her training, he'd managed to get her to open up. He and Clint had been her closest connections to S.H.I.E.L.D. Sometimes, Audrey suspected that her loyalty was more to them and less to the agency. And now, half of her connections were gone. Severed. Wrapped up in a body bag.

She arrived outside the infirmary room and tapped the door lightly as she opened it. Inside, Natasha was sitting in a chair getting patched up by Erin. Next to her, Barton lay unconscious, strapped down to a bed. For a moment, Audrey was worried that he might wake up and slip out and grab Natasha, but this was the Black Widow. Everything she did had a purpose.

"I need to talk to you," Audrey stated firmly, though by the look on her face, she wasn't as confident as her words had been.

The nurse glanced up at Natasha, then at Audrey. "I'll be back later," Erin decided. She finished wiping the cut on the redhead's face, and then packed up her kit and headed out the door, letting it fall shut behind her.

"What is it?" Natasha asked.

"Your comm went out before it was reported." She sighed. Audrey couldn't bring herself to say it in a voice any louder than a whisper. "Coulson is down," she murmured.

Natasha flinched, barely. A tense moment passed where Audrey let her eyes roam the room—the door to a closet or a bathroom; Barton, lying unconscious, eyes closed so she couldn't tell if they were still the same shade of ice blue they'd been under Loki's control. Audrey tugged at a hangnail on her hand.

"How?" Romanoff asked finally.

Closing her eyes, Audrey replied concisely. "Loki. Stab wound through the heart. They called it a few minutes ago."

Romanoff looked down, but she didn't cry. "How many others?"

Audrey fiddled with her hands for a moment. "We aren't sure. A few dozen. They're still sweeping for bodies."

Numbly, Natasha nodded. She cast a glance over at Clint, but blinked her eyes back to Audrey soon after. The blonde tried to read into her expression, to see what she was feeling, but the spy's visage was blank, as it had been trained to be. "How many on the Initiative were lost?"

Audrey swallowed. She hadn't gotten definite numbers, so she ran through a list out loud. "Tony and Steve are alive, they're helping in the sweep. Thor's status is unknown. Bru—uh, Banner's as well." After a moment's deliberation, she told Natasha, "I'm sorry about Coulson."

A sliver of shock crossed Romanoff's face as she looked up at Audrey, but it died just as quickly as it had appeared.

Barton made a choking sound from where he was lying, and Audrey nodded in his direction. "I'm glad he's back. We need all the firepower we can get." And then, she turned and left. After the door shut, she leaned against it for a second, trying to catch her breath. Her heart hurt, her muscles ached, her head was throbbing. Her body, at the moment, was coming off its adrenaline high and running on fury at the destruction Loki had wrought.

This was a good fight, and an important one, but right now she wanted to crawl back into her apartment and pass out. Audrey didn't understand. Things had felt so right while she was fighting, but now? Now she just felt weak. How did her parents do this? How had any of the people on this machine?

It was just another reminder that she was useless.

Well, she thought, you are standing and doing nothing.

Right. If she wanted to be useful, she should probably make use of herself.

Audrey opened her eyes and started to step into the traffic of the hallways, but stopped short to avoid getting run over by a passing gurney.

Wait.

Was that—Darcy?

She followed for a second, taking note of the bloodied towel wrapped around Darcy's shin. "Stupid fucking reindeer hat asshole. I'm gonna kill him once I stop bleeding!" the brunette was shouting defiantly, between hissing at the pain.

Crap. If that had been a point-blank shot to her leg, she might not walk again.

The blonde caught sight of Erin heading from the gurney's side to a nearby nursing station. Rushing over, she asked, "Is she gonna be okay? What happened?"

The nurse frowned. "She was grazed trying to protect one of the scientists." Jane. "The bullet likely didn't do very much damage, as far as I know, but she'll need time to recover. She should be fine as long as she avoids infection." Another nurse called out for assistance and Erin shot Audrey an apologetic look before getting back to work.

Audrey had never felt closer to falling apart, and of course it was in the one situation where she needed desperately to keep it together. They couldn't lose anyone else; they'd been weakened enough as it was. Sitting here isn't going to do me any good.

She straightened her shoulders and stalked out of the hospital, observing the Helicarrier through the chaos. She needed to help somehow. Bringing bodies over to the infirmary, sweeping up glass. Something.

But first she needed to get out of this suit. The top was beginning to tear from the bullet, the cape was almost in tatters, and these shoes were nice for combat and all, but not for helping with cleanup.

Heading to the locker room, she slipped into a pair of pants and a training jacket, and then checked her phone. She found two missed calls from Josh, one from Claudia, and three from her mom. Oh Christ. If her mom had found out about the attack and wasn't able to reach her, she would no doubt begin to panic. Audrey tried to call her back, but found that the service on the Helicarrier had been knocked out.

Later, she promised to herself.

Slamming her locker shut, she headed down to the bridge room where she found Sitwell delegating tasks. "Where do we need help?" she asked.

Sitwell glanced down at his tablet. "They're still sweeping for injuries on the lower level, and they're working on finalizing repairs on the engines."

Audrey nodded. She would be no help with the engineering, but she could assist the nurses so they could focus more on actually treating the patients.

She took an elevator to a lower level, running into a paramedic almost immediately. "Do you mind handling the starboard-north wing?" he asked her. He was carrying a small woman in his arms, a first aid kit hanging from his finders.

The blonde nodded vigorously and he jogged off in the direction of the elevator she'd just left. In her head, she thanked Peggy for teaching her what port and starboard actually meant.

Within the first two minutes of her search, she heard the faint call for help from down the hall. "Hey," Audrey called back. She jogged towards the voice. "Can you hear me? I'm here to help you. My name is Audrey."

When Audrey reached her, the woman was still breathing heavily, like she was on the verge of a panic attack. A large pipe was strewn across her torso and that of another woman, who had a large gash on her head. "One of the bars hit my coworker in the head, she won't wake up and I can't—I don't know what's wrong and I can't get her up and I—" She stopped short. "God, what if she's dead?"

The blonde frowned. "Can you check if she has a pulse?"

"Oh, of course, I—let me see." The woman shuffled and Audrey started pacing towards the end of the pipe. "She has a pulse, but I'm worried she won't be able to breathe soon."

Audrey surveyed the pipe. It was about two feet in diameter, but the end where she was standing lay four or five meters away from the women. She was going to have to lift it pretty high in the air to let them escape. "Okay. We're gonna figure this out. What's your name?"

"Nicole," the woman answered. "Bray. Agent Nicole Bray. This is Agent Reynolds..." she paused. "Beatrice."

Audrey ran a hand over the rim. The pipe itself was stuck under various pieces of debris, but nothing that would be too inhibiting if she tried to lift it. The biggest problem was probably the weight of the pipe itself, but it wasn't filled with water anymore—that had all leaked out and begun to pool around Audrey's feet. "Where do you work? What department?"

She leaned over. Gripping two hands underneath the pipe's jagged end, she set her heels into the ground, trying to keep from slipping, and prepared to lift it up.

"Archives," Nicole replied. Her voice seemed to calm down a bit, probably more from the hope of rescue than from the conversation. But just in case, Audrey kept talking.

"Oh, that's cool. Are you based in New York?"

Nicole shook her head. "No. We—we work in Los Angeles. They wanted us here for a few months because there's a shortage of East Coast archivists so they pulled from our base instead."

"Hey, I was born in L.A." She paused. "I'm gonna try lifting the bar up now, do you think you can pull yourself out and then grab your… uh, Beatrice?"

Nicole answered with a relieved, "Mm hmm. Yes. Oh my god."

"Okay. One, two, thr—" Audrey gritted her teeth, pulling the bar up and grunting. Her body shook from the weight pressing down into her hands, but she transferred the pipe so it was resting on her shoulder. It bit into the muscle there, pressing all the way through her core and into her knees, her feet, which began sliding under the pressure. She fumbled to right them as Nicole slipped out and yanked Beatrice out with her.

It was a lot heavier than it had looked at first. Her arms were starting to go numb, threatening to let go if they weren't clear soon.

"We're good!" she called, and Audrey scrambled to pull the pipe off her body, letting it fall to the ground with a loud thud. She flinched at the sound, probably not a comfort to two people in the midst of a completely traumatic situation.

Nicole had stumbled over until she was standing, sort of. She leaned against the wall and dragged one leg behind her. Audrey dropped to the floor next to Beatrice and pressed an ear to her heart, which, thankfully, was still beating. Her chest continued rising and falling, through the hem of her shirt was lifted to reveal a huge bruise blossoming on her stomach. She might've had a concussion, and if they didn't get her to the med bay soon, all her injuries could be fatal.

"I think we should leave your shoes," Audrey decided, looking up at Nicole. "They'll make any leg injuries worse, and they'll slow us down. Or I can take you one at a time, but if you think you can walk back, you should leave your pumps behind. I'm sorry."

"That's fine. That's—" Nicole laughed, but she sounded on the verge of tears simultaneously. "I hate these shoes anyway."

Audrey looked into her eyes, looked down at the woman's crushed ankle. She smiled at her, trying to tell her that everything was going to be okay.

But honestly? She had no idea.

* * *

 

Once Audrey had finished sweeping the area twice and collected a dozen more victims of the attack, she headed back up to the bridge. She was heading past one of the hallways full of offices when Steve appeared from a debriefing room, face cleaned but bruised from the fight.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

Audrey swallowed, but nodded. "Sure, uh. Like, here, or is this a private conversation?"

Steve glanced over his shoulder and then down the hallway. "There's a conference room down there, I think. That might be… better."

She ran a hand through her hair, but nodded. "Okay. Lead the way."

A feeling of dread was starting to make it's way into her stomach. This was the part where he realized that Tony was right and she was immature. This was the part where he said he didn't want to work with her. This was the part where he said he didn't believe she'd been just as oblivious to the HYDRA weapons as he had and then tried to ensure he never had to see her again. Audrey clenched her teeth, wondering what another blow would feel like. They had already lost so much today, would it even make a difference?

Steve opened the door for her and she stepped inside. Only in the sterile air of the untouched office space did Audrey realize how much she wanted a shower.

There was a large table in the room, and a projection screen on the side. She wasn't sure whether she ought to sit or stand, but her legs already hurt from the fights earlier, so she pulled out one of the chairs and planted herself in it. Steve followed, taking the seat beside her. They stared at each other for a moment until Audrey broke away, glancing at her hands. Blood and dirt and dust were buried under her fingernails, so deep embedded she wondered if they would ever come out.

It wouldn't matter. She'd never be able to wash away the things that had happened today. The loss and the emptiness. She'd never be able to forget it, no matter how hard she tried.

"I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," Steve apologized finally. "I'm sorry for accusing you. I knew—even as I was saying it—I knew you wouldn't lie like that. I'm still trying to adjust to the fact that I missed so much, and this is all so unfamiliar, I don't… I know know who to trust, but I should have trusted you." He laughed for a second. "Anyone raised by Peggy is someone I should trust."

Relief rushed over Audrey in waves. She nodded, biting her lip. Releasing it, she replied, "I get it." Well. I mean... "I've never… been where you are. Not in the exact situation you're in, I mean. Everything has changed. We met, like, less than a week ago, so I get your hesitation, but I just…" How should she say this? That she wanted to get to know him? How did she tell him that this wasn't just an assignment anymore? "I want you to know that I'm here for you, I guess, and I want you to… be a part of my life? Yeah. I mean. If you want to."

"I do," Steve assured her. "I've been gone for so much—I mean, I've missed practically everything, but you're still my…" He trailed off, unsure if he wanted to say it out loud.

She understood why. It was for the same reason that she hadn't called him dad yet. At least, not to his face. "We'll figure it out," she supplied, to fill the awkward gap in the conversation. "With all the aging stuff, I mean… we've got time." She smiled sadly. It was almost a comfort to know that the two of them were doomed to the same fate, to outlive everyone they loved.

He sighed. "When I… for the minutes between escaping the base and meeting you, I thought I was on another planet. Alone. I lost Bucky, I lost myself, I thought. But I'm not, and I've plenty of stupid things before but I'm not dumb enough to give that up." Steve swallowed. "I realized that… we lost so much today, and you're the only real connection I have to my… to my life before the crash and I don't want to lose you too."

Audrey swallowed the lump in her throat. Tears were threatening to spill into her eyes, and she hated herself for being so emotional. "I thought I lost you. I spent—I spent almost seventy years thinking I lost you, and I just got you back." She shoved herself out of her chair and paced for a moment. In spite of everything, she laughed. When she stopped, she looked Steve in the eyes and said, "Don't die on me again."

Steve cracked the slightest smile. "I'll do my best." He stood up next to her. "We're going to win this. I promise you, we're going to do whatever it takes and we're going to win."

Any optimism was fuel to fight Audrey's exhaustion, and she began to nod furiously. "I'm new to this whole thing—very new—but Loki won't get away with this. He can't. I'm done watching innocent people die." She groaned, placing her head in her hands. "I'm just so angry that he got away. He could be anywhere. He could attack us now and what can we do about it? We're missing the two most powerful members of our team—physically, at least—I...I am beyond exhausted, Romanoff lost her mentor, and Barton's… out of it, based on what I just saw. I just… I don't even know anymore. I hate this feeling, I hate it."

"Hopelessness?" Steve supplied. "I hate it too. But we're not hopeless. We're built to bring hope. And I know you didn't choose this so it's probably different, but everything that was given to me—to us—it's stuff that saves lives. And I can't get rid of it, so I might as well do something with it."

He was right. It wasn't her decision to be like this but it also wasn't something she could change. She thought back to the fighting earlier that day, how good it had felt knowing she was saving someone's life. It might not have been her decision, but it was the right thing to do.

And if there was anything her parents had taught her, it was to do the right thing.

Without thinking, Audrey launched herself at Steve, wrapping her arms around him in a hug, this one far less awkward than the one in the elevator.

He returned the embrace with ease. "It's gonna be okay," he soothed. "We're going to fight and we're going to win this. I promise."

"Yeah," she mumbled. "We're gonna win."

"Carter," someone spoke into her ear and Audrey jumped, only then realizing that it was her earpiece.

"Yes, sir?"

"I'm calling a meeting on the bridge. Bring the Captain."

Audrey nodded. "Yes, sir." Turning to Steve, she repeated, "Fury wants us on the bridge for a meeting. I'm assuming it's to figure out where we go from here."

The soldier nodded. This was the start of a war, and they were going to need to start preparing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhh we're finally getting to the exciting part! thank you to all of you who reviewed, I hope you do the same for this chapter and let me know what you thought. Thank you all so much for reading, and a shoutout to CatrinaSL who beta'd this.
> 
> ALSO this chapter is dedicated to the lovely Rachel who has literally hand drawn fanart for this story, which can be found on the blog (audreycarterrogers dot tumblr dot com).
> 
> _Chapter 11: The Avengers Initiative_
> 
> _"Well," Fury mused, sounding more like an old man and less like a secret agent for a moment, "it's an old fashioned notion."_
> 
> _Audrey looked up from her hands to the cards to Fury. She couldn't help herself. "Sometimes the world needs a little old-fashioned."_


	11. The Avengers Initiative

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick Fury's shitty pep talk and the aud-squad origin story.

“These were in Coulson’s jacket,” Fury announced, once they’d sat down.  He threw a stack of bloodied cards down in front of Steve, and Audrey had to look at them through the blood to realize what, exactly, they were.  Coulson’s trading cards.  They lay limp on the table, smeared in his blood, their collectable value lost.  But everyone at the table knew what they were worth.  

Reluctantly, Steve reached out and cradled them gently between his fingers.  He looked like he’d been hit in the gut, and Audrey started fuming again.  The last thing they needed was another split right now, another reason for Steve to feel guilty.  Reminding them of everything they’d messed up wasn’t going to stop Loki.  

She watched her father carefully, as he looked regretfully down at the cards.  The old propaganda photos saluted back at him.  Audrey wondered how many times Coulson himself had done this: stared at them carefully, feeling some connection to the man himself.  

_ Never meet your heros _ , Audrey supposed.   _ Or they’ll get you killed.   _

“Guess he never did get you to sign them.”  

Audrey pinched her eyes shut to stomach her anger.  If she snapped at Fury, that would make things worse, too.  And since they’d pretty much hit rock bottom, there was no reason to start digging so they could fall any further.  

“We’re dead in the air up here.  We’ve got no comms, and Foster’s doing her best to trace the cube but without a lab and without the machinery she can’t get far.  We’ve lost Banner, Thor.  I’ve got nothing for you.”  

What kind of meeting was this?  How was this supposed to prepare them?  

Audrey wanted to believe that there was no way she knew how to handle this and Nick Fury didn’t, but based on everything that had happened since they’d sat down, she was starting to.  All he’d done so far was emphasize the point that they’d messed up, and deliver horrible news.  

He chuckled humorlessly.  “Lost my one good eye.  Maybe I had that coming.”  

There was a beat where nobody said anything.  From her spot between Tony and Steve, Audrey could see that Tony was a minute away from losing it—he was bouncing his leg up and down anxiously, and clenching and unclenching his fists in his lap.  

Steve, on the other hand, was perfectly still.  His posture was stiff and uncomfortable.  As if he was afraid that movement would cause more damage, so he was confining himself to the area of his chair.  Even his legs were tucked underneath the seat.  

From this, and from what he’d said in his speech— _ I can’t do anything about it— _ Audrey wondered if sometimes he missed being small.  Undoubtedly, his life would’ve been infinitely simplified.  He wouldn’t have any blood on his hands.  He wouldn’t have as much weight on his shoulders.  

Audrey considered interrupting Fury’s speech, but she didn’t.  Instead, she folded her arms over her chest and waited for him to continue, hopefully with something more constructive.  

“Yes, we were going to build an arsenal with the Tesseract,” he admitted finally.  “ I never put all my chips on that number though, because I was playing something even riskier.”  

The blonde uncrossed her arms, leaning forward.  This was what they needed.  Strategy.   

“There was an idea—Carter and Stark know this—called the Avengers Initiative.”  

Audrey let her gaze slide over to Tony, but he had stilled suddenly.  He was unnervingly quiet at the mention of his name—no humorous comment, no argument.  He looked like he didn’t want to say anything anytime soon.  

But Fury continued nonetheless.  

“The idea was to bring together a group of remarkable people, see if they could become something more.  See if they could work together when we needed them to, to fight the battles that we never could.”  

The man paused.  

“Phil Coulson died still believing in that idea, in heroes.”  Audrey looked over at the trading cards.   _ Heroes.   _ Right.  

Though, as she thought about it, she realized that it was probably true.  Phil Coulson had always put so much faith in people.  Audrey wouldn’t be surprised if he’d died thinking that the Avengers were going to… well, Avenge.  

Now it was seeming like their only option.  The last few days had changed Audrey for sure, but she was still her mother’s daughter, still her father’s daughter, still a fighter and an agent.  Still repeating  _ find your silver lining _ over and over to herself and wishing Anna was still with her to comfort her.  She’d lost everything except for Steve and her mother’s legacy, and she was going to fight like hell to protect them.  

Tony shoved his chair away from the table, suddenly, and began to walk away.  Audrey reached out and grabbed his sleeve, but he shoved her away.  

“Well,” Fury mused, sounding more like an old man and less like a secret agent for a moment, “it’s an old fashioned notion.”  

Audrey looked up from her hands to the cards to Fury.  She couldn’t help herself.  “Sometimes the world needs a little old-fashioned.”  

Steve looked over at her, surprised.  

She continued, “Sir, I know that we’ve lost a lot, but we haven’t lost everything.  In preparation for the fight against Loki, I’d like to suggest a few people we could bring on board.” 

* * *

**2009**

The morning of March twenty-fourth, Coulson called Audrey into his office for a meeting.  

“Have you heard of Caroline Carmichael?” he’d asked.  

Audrey had nodded slowly.  “Out of the academy?  One of our assassins—I mean trigger men—trigger  _ persons?  _ Uh...”  

“She’s a field agent.  Right.”  He cleared his throat.  “See, the thing is, she’s kind of… frigid.”

Audrey frowned.  Wasn’t that the point?  When S.H.I.E.L.D. sought out candidates for specialist positions, wasn’t that one of the traits they looked for?  “I don’t mean to—to  _ stereotype  _ or anything here, but I’ve made the assumption in the past that assa—uh,  _ field agents _ aren’t… supposed to be warm and fuzzy.”  

Coulson shot her a look.  “I think it would be beneficial for her to work with a handler that’s more gentle.  Someone like you.”  

Wait.  Whoa.   _ Wait.   _ Was he assigning her to be the handler of an  _ assassin?   _

What the  _ hell?   _ Audrey worked investigations--FBI partnerships, finding targets.  Not  _ hunting them.   _ That was the special-ops department’s job.  

“Uh,” she said gracelessly.  “See, the thing is… I have very little experience with, um, target eliminations.  But—but you are already the handler of a team!  A very successful team.  And you handle the Black Widow, who is arguably the most... frigid... person working for us, after Fury of course, except we all work for him—but, my point is that, why don’t you add her to Strike Team Delta?  I’m sure she’ll be able to carry out a lot of… assassinations, and, uh, really...  _ grow _ as a spy.  Assassin. Agent. Person.”  She cringed, a hand coming up to tug at the end of her hair self consciously.  

Coulson shook his head.  “Natasha and Clint have formed a rhythm, it would upset things if I added a third member to the team.  Clint and Caroline have trained together, they’ve sparred together, and they’re on the same level physically.  But mentally, they haven’t been able to bond.”  

“I’m sure that if you give them time, they’ll—”  

“Carter.”  

She looked up at him.  

“I’m assigning you as the handler of Caroline Carmichael, effective immediately.  You will be allowed a team to help evaluate and investigate, and you will design her missions from there.”  

Wait.  “I’ll be  _ allowed  _ a team?  Not assigned one?”  

The man nodded.  

“So I get to pick the members?”  

He continued nodding, a small smile quirking up the edges of his lips.  “I’m giving you until the end of the week to submit your candidates, and once they’re approved you’ll receive your first assignment.”  

Audrey’s heart began to thud.  Her own team.  Coulson was giving her a leadership position.  This was what she’d been hoping for for a while, but her constant changing departments always made it difficult.  But here he was, giving her that chance, and all she had to do was become an difficult agent’s handler.  

Well… that was still a  _ big deal.   _ She was going to have to go back to some of the psychology textbooks in her apartment if she wanted the team to succeed.  But it was going to be  _ her team.   _

She brushed a strand of hair behind her ear.  “That—thank you.   _ Seriously _ , Coulson, I really appreciate it.”  

He nodded at her.  “You’ve got good instincts.  I think you could do a lot of good as a leader.”

Doing good.  That had always been the mission, hadn’t it?

* * *

In reality, she ended up submitting her team candidates on Thursday morning.  For her weapons expert, she’d chosen either Lindsey Dubois or Rachel St. Claire.  For her forensic biologist, she’d narrowed it down to either Michael Richardson or Claudia Jeong.  

Friday afternoon, Coulson dropped by her office again, file folders in hand.  “I’ve looked over your choices,” he told her.  “You can have Dubois, because Rachel St. Claire just got transferred to our DC office.  And I recommend you pick Claudia, just because Michael and Caroline don’t get along very well.”  

Well.  That had been easier that she’d expected.  “Thanks.  So if I interview them and decide to stick with them, we can just...start?”  

Coulson nodded.  “It’s all you from there.”  

Audrey grinned.  

* * *

“You want me to go from weapons department to being the single weapons expert on a team?” 

Lindsey Dubois sat opposite Audrey at her desk, raising an unsure eyebrow.  Audrey frowned.  “...Yes?”  Something about the look on Dubois’ face made her feel like that was the wrong answer.  Even though technically, she was supposed to be the one running this meeting.  

Lindsey considered.  “It’s more intensive work… there’s a pay raise, right?”  

Audrey nodded.  “Yeah, uh, twenty percent.  But you’re right, it  _ is  _ more demanding.  I think it’ll be an effective team.”  

“Who else is joining?”  

“So far?  We have myself and Caroline Carmichael.  I’m hoping we can get Claudia Jeong to join too.”  

“Oh, hey.”  Lindsey broke out into a grin.  “Claudia was my roommate at the Academy.  She’s great.  Really smart.  You’re putting her on forensics?”

“That’s the plan.  She’ll work biological testing and tracking and from there, we can send Carmichael to execute missions.  Once Claudia,and  ideally, I, identify targets, you’ll work with her to detain or eliminate them.  More detaining than eliminating, if I can help it.”  Audrey bit her lip.  

“I’ve never heard of an all-female tac team,” Lindsey grinned.  “I’m in.  When do we start?”  

* * *

From there, it was easy.  Claudia followed Lindsey without much protest, and Caroline had no real choice once she’d been transferred.  The first meeting was hell and their first mission stiff and formal, but once they’d begun to understand one another after a few missions, they started to develop trust in their teammates, and in Audrey, and that’s when  it all came together.  

Coulson gave them an office area together, connected to a lab where Claudia spent most of her time.  Now that they were an official team—Tac Team Q—they needed codenames.  Caroline kept Ace, which she’d had prior to working under Audrey.  Lindsey adopted  _ Bombshell  _ after her impressive work in diffusing a bomb in record time--not that she was able to flaunt it, due to the whole  _ classified  _ thing.  Claudia really didn’t need one since she spent all her time in the labs, but Lindsey decided to dub her “The Mortician” anyway, since she’d worked as a coroner prior to her assignment to their team.  

But perhaps the  _ worst  _ name was the one given to her team.  By midway through 2010, people had stopped calling them Tac Team Q.  Instead, they’d started referring to them as  _ the Aud Squad.   _

And as much as Audrey herself tried to discourage it, she was never able to prevent anyone from calling them that.  Her dad had gotten  _ The Howling Commandos _ , and she got the Aud Squad.  

Nobody else on the team was a help in stopping it.  Lindsey thought it was hilarious, Caroline couldn’t bring herself to care enough, and Claudia rarely spoke.  

Besides that, though, Lindsey and Audrey had hit it off early on.  She wasn’t able to tell them who her parents were, or about any of her...talents (powers?  Audrey was never sure what to call them), but their bond reached deeper than coworkers.  Lindsey would occasionally spend Friday nights with Audrey marathoning trashy TV.  She gave her advice when it came to flirting with Josh at the bar after work one day.  

Claudia and Caroline seemed to work well together too, since Caroline was… prickly, at best, and rarely wanted to talk to anyone while Claudia was almost always quiet.  On days that were more focused on investigation rather than field work, Caroline could be found sitting in Claudia’s lab with a book in hand while the scientist flitted around her between various priceless science equipment with names that took a minute to say outloud.  

Caroline was undoubtedly still frigid, but she was less aggressive without need to be.  Something inside her had calmed when the team started working together.  

Coulson dropped by occasionally and at one point asked Audrey if she wanted to add more members to the team, but the four of them had already become one of the most effective tac teams S.H.I.E.L.D. had working under them.  

“You’re doing a good job here,” he remarked once, surveying the room.  “Doing a lot of good too.”  

* * *

**2012**

Audrey watched from inside as a jet connected to the runway and, with the magnetic landing pad, eventually stopped moving.  The terminal had already  been assembled, and the people inside were deplaning.  

About ten minutes ago, they’d realized what Loki’s plan was going to involve taking over Stark tower.  It figured that he would pick one of the most densely populated areas on earth for the battle over humanity, but they couldn’t change that.  With her team on board, and whatever S.H.I.E.L.D. agents were left working on repairs, they were well on their way to preparing for the fight.  Audrey knew that the time they were taking was giving Loki an advantage, but last time they’d fought unprepared, it hadn’t gone well.  They couldn’t make that mistake anymore, not with this much at stake.  

They didn’t know what Loki was going to fight with, but they assumed it was going to be much stronger than brainwashed S.H.I.E.L.D. agents.  

When Audrey caught sight of Lindsey rounding the corner, she barely had time to react before she was toppled in a hug.  “What the hell, Audrey?” the woman mumbled into her ear.  “You just  _ disappeared.   _ And you’re Captain America’s  _ daughter?   _ Why didn’t you—I mean, I know there was the clearance thing, but  _ still.   _ And—what even  _ is  _ this thing?”  

Audrey pulled away, a grin on her face.  “I’ll explain it later, everything later, but we’re gonna have to get to work now.”  

Behind Lindsey, Audrey caught a glimpse of Claudia and Caroline.  

“Where’s my office?” Lindsey asked with a smile.  

“You can head to the labs,” Audrey delegated, pointing up to the glass window that had been shattered and was now just a giant hole in the lab’s wall.  “There’s an elevator by that door.  We need everything you can manage.  Guns, grenades, if you can retool any of the weapons we have on board to make them more effective.  Anything.  Fair warning: Stark might drop by later and take some things for his suit without asking.”  

Lindsey’s eyes had glazed over for a second as she realized that  _ Stark  _ meant  _ Tony Stark _ , as in  _ Iron Man.   _ A moment later, she was back in focus.  “I’m on it.”  

Claudia smiled at Audrey as she stepped up to her.  “I assume you want me there too?  Since I’m no help anywhere but the lab.”  

“Yeah,” Audrey nodded.  “Dr. Foster is working on tracking the cube but we need a biologist on board.  If you could take any of the samples that were collected and try and get whatever information you can from those.”  

Claudia nodded, adjusting the bag she was holding on her shoulder before heading off.  

Arms crossed over her chest, Caroline stepped up in front of Audrey.  “What can I do?”  

Audrey swallowed.  “I know that it’s not your area, not really, but if you could gather any military personnel on board and get them into shape as backup for the team that’s going in, that would be great.”  She didn’t mention that she was also on the team going in.  

“I can try my best, but I don’t promise I’ll be  _ nice _ .”  She sighed.  “But I think you should send me in too.  Maybe not as the main team but as backup.  I’m of better use on the ground than here.”  

Caroline paused, waiting for a response.  

Audrey considered.  She was right; Caroline was one of their  _ best  _ weapons, and she would be more helpful on the ground.  Still, someone had to lead the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, and she wasn’t sure how that was going to work. 

Well, they would have Tony up high, and if he was able to scope the area for threats, Audrey would be able to instruct her.  That could be a possibility.  “I’m not really, uh, in charge up here.  But I’ll see what I can do.”  

Caroline nodded.  “Where do I go?”  

It wasn’t Audrey who replied, though, it was Hill from behind her.  “There’s a training room on the second level that’s available.  I’ve already sent out a message for any field agents without an assignment to head there.”  

“Yes, ma’am,” Caroline answered, turning away.  

As she watched her go, Audrey felt the dread in her stomach begin to subside a little, making room for hope and determination.  

She let out a long exhale.  They were about to wade into a war where they didn’t know who the enemy was.  A war against a  _ god _ , or all things.  

But from the dust, S.H.I.E.L.D. had scrambled together, more determined than ever. 

Audrey just hoped it would be enough.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUYS! I'm so so excited because we are officially jumping into the second half of Monachopsis, which I promise is gonna have more angst, pain, bonding, and heroics.
> 
> I'd also like to make an exciting announcement that the first spinoff of this story is going to be called _The Aud Squad_ and focus more on the missions of the time. It'll be told in a format similar to the first season of _Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D._ and feature the cases that the team handles. I'm hoping that I'll be able to post it along with the first chapter of book 2 and the last chapter of Monachopsis. 
> 
> Shoutout to Rachel for all of her fanart, Emilia for all her graphics and support, and CatrinaSL for all the betaing <3 
> 
> If you can, I'd love a review on the way out! They feed the muse.


	12. Where the Heart Is

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heart-to-hearts and other things.

There was a clock in the lab.  It hung from the wall, the hands spinning around in circles, ticking as they went.  Every second was a reminder that Loki was getting closer, more powerful, stronger, and that their chances were plummeting.  Every time they delayed moving forward with their plan, it was another minute for Loki to grow his army, another chance for him to make a weapons run, another opportunity for him to crush them under his stupid, Asgardian foot.  

But if they moved now, Audrey knew they would fail.  They were weakened, so much so that half the bridge room was empty, its members nursing injuries or lying lifeless in the pseudo-morgue.  Their strike now would get them shot down, maybe forever.  While Loki was getting stronger by the second, Audrey tried to remind herself of a very crucial fact: so were they.  

Still, she had trouble trying to stay brave.  Every rotation of the clock’s hands made her stomach flip, a feeling she couldn’t stifle even as she’d hungrily shoved a granola bar into her mouth (and then three more).  Time was neutral: an enemy and an ally, though Audrey struggled to remind herself of all the improvements they were making as the seconds inched forward.  She feared and anticipated the fight with Loki, desiring closure and for time to stop simultaneously.  

“Were you ever going to tell us?”  Lindsey asked.  Audrey glanced up across the table where the other woman stood, a heat mask over her face as she used a laser cutter to slice through a sheet of steel.  Only god knew what she was planning to do with it.  

The question hadn’t specified what they wanted Audrey to tell, but she assumed it was about her parents.  

“Maybe?” she responded hesitantly.  “I couldn’t really, since you were only level five clearance, but once you reached a level nine, probably.”  

“Level nine?  Jesus.”  Lindsey raised the mask over her head, brushing a strand of hair out of her face with her gloved hand.  “Isn’t Barton still at a level six?”  

Audrey shrugged.  “I think so?”  

Lindsey looked her dead in the eyes.  “You were waiting for us to get clearance three levels higher than Strike Team Delta’s?  You couldn’t pull strings or anything?  Not even for your own team?”  

Despite how serious and tense the conversation was, a voice in the back of Audrey’s head was just relieved she’d said  _ team  _ instead of  _ squad _ .  

She considered.  Yes, she probably could’ve asked for permission to tell the team, at least have made an  _ attempt.   _ But she couldn’t even blame S.H.I.E.L.D. for denying her the right to tell.  It was on her.  And as much as she hated to admit it, she knew exactly why.  “I don’t know.  It wasn’t… important.”

“Not  _ important _ ?”  Lindsey almost shouted.  These was disbelief in her voice, but not anger.  Audrey was grateful.  With all the things lost in the past few days, she desperately needed allies.  

“We’ve never talked about  _ your _ parents!” she sputtered, though she knew the argument was weak.  

“Well, yeah.”  Lindsey rolled her eyes.  “That’s because they’re both dental technicians in New Jersey, not national heroes.”  

The blonde frowned.  “Just… I didn’t want it to be a thing.”  

Lindsey peered at her dubiously for a moment, before finally speaking up.  “A thing?” 

“Yeah, a thing.  Like you’re making it now.”  

“Alright, don’t worry, I won’t make it a thing.”  Lindsey took the bits of heated steel and pulled a gun out from the shelf underneath her.  She opened it and yanked a part out, wedging the steel back inside.  “...After today.  Today I’m gonna make it a thing, because I just found out one of my friends is the daughter of Captain freaking America and Peggy freaking Carter.  You have to tell me everything.”  

Audrey smiled gently, but right now she really didn’t want to get into it.  First, there was the fact that they weren’t alone in the lab: from the place where the window had shattered, they were exposed to the surviving members of the bridge team, Claudia was behind her studying samples of Loki’s DNA trying to create a biological weapon, and Jane was behind her humming as she aggressively jotted down data from Bruce’s tech—something involving calibrating and tracing alien genetic material.  Granted, Jane seemed completely submerged in her own world of physics and numbers, and Audrey had no problem with Claudia overhearing,  _ but _ , she thought, casting a glance over to the agents working below,  _ they really don’t need to hear me have a heart to heart _ .  

But more overwhelming than that, now she had a legacy—one everyone  _ knew  _ about, and she couldn’t afford to fail.  She couldn’t be a disappointment, on top of everything else.  She was in over her head here.  Though things had felt so right before, when she’d saved Steve and fought Loki’s brainwashed agents, it was largely due to something in her brain clicking.  Putting the pieces together for her so that she could focus on hitting and running and blocking the tirade of fists.  

Now, though, nothing was clicking.  Just below her skin, the machine that made up her anatomy had fallen apart, reduced to a pile of junked gears and screws and a beating heart.  

Audrey crumpled up the fifth granola bar wrapper, and, not knowing where to put it in the pristine lab, shoved it into the pocket of her pants, next to all the rest.  She was itching to get moving, but had to remind herself to be patient.  Loki had yet to show his hand, and they couldn’t make the first move if they didn’t know where to strike.  She reached over to the box to pull out another one, but her fingernails scraped against the hollow cardboard and nothing else.  

This could’ve been her last meal on earth.  A box of Clif bars.  She could die today.  The chances of that happening were  _ very high,  _ and her last meal on earth could potentially be a box of Clif bars.  

She still hadn’t returned any of Peggy’s calls.  It made her feel horrible, but she almost didn’t want to.  Hearing her mother’s voice would force her to say it out loud.  

What a twist that would be—her mother outliving her.  Audrey, who was supposed to live for centuries or more, dying before her demented mother.  God, what an awful story.  Peggy had already lost Steve once, and she was starting to lose her memory.  For a split-second, Audrey wondered: if she died, how long would it take Peggy to forget she’d existed in the first place?

_ Find the bright side.  Find your silver lining.   _ What was the silver lining?  If everything went well, Audrey guessed.  If the clouds were to part, they’d show a world where Audrey had done enough, had been enough, where Loki was dead and the Avengers were victorious.  

But no matter how hard they fought, they could not bring back the dead.  There was a nagging feeling in her stomach to remind her of that.  No amount of atonement could repair for her previous shortcomings.  There would still be funerals.  There would still be dozens more names added to the Wall of Valor.  All the bodies she hadn’t managed to catch.  

_ Snap out of it.   _ She was no good to the rest of the world if she started killing herself before Loki did.  Though, that would take the satisfaction away from him…

No.  She had to get through this.  If not for her sake, for her mother’s.  

She dropped to the floor and started stretching.  Her muscles screamed at the motions, still sore from all the fighting and lifting earlier.  It had helped to sit down and eat something, but not by much.  Turning back to Lindsey, Audrey prompted, “You’re going to have to be more specific about  _ everything _ .”  

Lindsey nodded.  “Okay, well, uh… when were you born?”  

“August 28th.”  That was the truth, but… “1946,” she added slowly.  

“So, what.  Are you just really good at contouring?”  Audrey and Lindsey’s eyes both flew up in surprise to Claudia, who was hovering over a microscope, and then jotting something down in the notepad next to her.  Neither expected her to be so blasé about it.  She looked up when she noticed them staring.  “What?”  

“Nothing.  What?” Audrey replied without much elegance.  

“Like, are you some Sephora-hoarding genius?  You don’t exactly look your age.”

“Oh.”  That’s what she’d meant.  “Um, yeah.  Well—no, not a makeup genius.”   _ I wish.   _ “It’s this thing with the super-soldier serum, it’s, uh, really determined to make me live longer, so it extended my lifespan and only ages me a 1 unit for every three.  So, like, one year every three.”  She nodded awkwardly.

“You’re kind of immortal, then?” Claudia prompted.  

_ Immortal.   _ Like Thor or Loki.  She considered it.  Her dad was sort of immortal, he’d risen from the dead after something nobody expected him to come back from.  But a bullet could still kill her, if it hit her in the right place.   “Not—well, maybe.  There’s a chance it’ll stop once I hit menopause.”  She rolled her eyes.  “But I’m not sure.”  

Lindsey stared at her for a long moment before looking over at Claudia.  Then back at Audrey.  The blonde wanted to know what they were thinking—were they judging her?  Angry she didn’t tell them?  Planning on demanding a transfer as soon as things went back to normal?  

( _ If _ things ever went back to normal.)

“Jesus,” Lindsey finally remarked.  

Well.  That didn’t help much.  She’d already known they were surprised.  

She looked closer at them.  Their faces were mostly covered in shock, but below that, Audrey could detect something else.  Awe.  Or fear.  

Maybe they were the same thing.  

She scrambled to make up for it with something.  “I’m still me,” she swore.  “I’ve always—you knowing won’t change anything, because I’ve always been up front about who I was in my behavior.  Maybe not… maybe not with my  _ history _ , but… if things change after this is all over, it’s because we’re fighting a war.  Not because I was lying about who I was.”  

Claudia nodded firmly.  “I believe you.  I’m still on your side.”  

Audrey froze in surprise.  “You… do?  Wait.  You  _ are? _ ”  

The woman shrugged.  “I’ve followed you into the Russian winter, and into this team that nobody thought was going to work, and you haven’t ever disappointed me.  Might as well follow you into a war against a god, too.”  She turned back to her work station, looking suddenly afraid that Audrey was going to demand a group hug.  “What’s it like?  Now that he’s back?” Claudia asked over her shoulder, pulling a pair of goggles over her face and poking at something under her microscope with a set of forceps.  

“Oh, yeah.  When you got assigned his case we didn’t really know why, but uh, I guess this is our answer.”  Lindsey considered the facts for a minute, then shrugged.  “Weird.”  

“Yeah,” Audrey agreed.  “It’s really, really weird.  I don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”  She tried to come up with a more articulate and less dramatic way of explaining that, thus far, it had been little more than one heart attack after another.  “I don’t know.  It was nice at first.  It’s awkward.  We haven’t really gotten to know each other yet with the whole…”  She waved her arm around.  “Alien invasion… thing.  That’s going on.”  

Grunting, Lindsey pulled the lid off of something at her table. “Do you think you will?”

Audrey shrugged, leaning over and stretching her legs to hide her face.  “I hope so.  I’ve been trying not to think about it, in all honesty.  I’m worried he’ll be disappointed in me, or that he’ll decide that fatherhood isn’t his thing—I mean, not that I need to be parented, but you know?  He didn’t ask for me.”  

With a snort, Lindsey replied, “You didn’t ask for super soldier genes or some screwed up aging but you got it anyway.  And  _ you _ are far more pleasant than weird aging, so if you can put up with that I’m sure he can bring himself to appreciate you.”  

“Plus, it’s statistically likely that you both die after this,” Claudia muttered, pulling a pen from her hair and jotting something down.  

Audrey sat up, and looked at Claudia.  The other woman didn’t seem too interested in her bewildered expression, though, so Audrey just agreed plainly, “True.”  It was an occupational hazard of sorts.  She knew what she was getting herself into.  

Jane rushed by and stood by the window, so sudden that Audrey squeaked, jerking up from her stretching pose.  She’d almost forgotten that Jane was there.  “Hello?”  she shouted out to the bridge, drawing the attention of nearly every agent below.  “I need someone to get me a pen.  Now, thanks.”  

“You don’t have any up here?” Audrey asked, leaning back onto her palms.  

Jane shook her head.  “Tony,” she snarled, “for some reason, doesn’t use any more paper, and the pen I was using ran out of ink.  Darcy usually handles these things.”  

Audrey nodded.  “Ah.”  As far as they knew, Darcy was still in the infirmary.  It had been a painstaking decision for Jane to have to leave her side and return to work, but Fury had forced her hand.  

An agent rushed through the door with a box of pens.  “Doctor Foster?”  

Jane spun on her heel and grabbed them from him.  “Thanks,” she mumbled, already in the process of pulling one from the box and uncapping it, and then she was back into her clouded work haze.  

Audrey had just pulled her knee up to her chest and started to pivot her back when she saw sparks flying out of the weapon Lindsey had been tooling with.  She jumped in surprise.  “Lindsey?”  

She waved her away.   “Everything’s fine, I just needed to see if that worked.”  Lindsey cleared her throat.  “You should probably make sure that Caroline hasn’t murdered anyone yet.  We’ve got a few more things to do before you head out.”  

Audrey nodded reluctantly, hating to leave the familiarity of Lindsey and Claudia’s presence.  She’d plunged headfirst into the deep end when she accepted this assignment, and her swimming skills hadn’t seemed to improve since then.  

But still,  _ you have to put that aside,  _ the ruthless voice in her head commanded her.   _ Everyone on the Helicarrier can hate you right now, but it doesn’t matter.  There’s a bigger enemy out there.  Don’t waste your time trying to protect yourself from your allies.   _

To the ruthless voice, her anxiety replied,  _ But your allies are always so much closer.   _

She shrugged away the abstracts before they could consume her, and stood up from the floor of the lab.  Audrey’s nerves had all apparently spouted their own nerves. Even as she tried to make her way to the gym, she found herself shaking.  

When she got there, Audrey was pleasantly surprised by what she found.  Caroline had organized the available agents into groups led by a superior officer.  Past the groups working on combative training updates (ones more suited to fighting aliens, specifically), Audrey could see agents rotating in and out of the range corrals.  

Every one of these people was risking their life to protect the world, same as her.  Hell, these people had been doing it longer.  And even though they hadn’t signed up for aliens, they stood with S.H.I.E.L.D. all the same, prepared to fight.  

Despite it all, a small, sad smile tugged on Audrey’s lips.  The unity on display was almost overwhelming.  She’d never seen anything like it before—whenever Peggy talked about running S.H.I.E.L.D., it often included frustration at internal opposition.  This wasn’t anything like that.  There was only one thing in their eyes: the mission.  Faintly, Audrey wondered if this had been Steve’s experience during the war.  

When she reached Caroline, Audrey remarked, “Not bad.”  

Caroline sent her a smirk.  “Come on, Carter.  I’m good, and you know it.”  Then, leaning in closer, she added, “You better watch out, or someday I might be the one in charge of your team.”  

Audrey raised an unamused eyebrow.  “Do you know how much paperwork you’d have to do?  You wouldn’t survive a day.”  But she smiled anyways.  “However, I do admit, you’d make a very good drill sergeant.”  She turned to Caroline.  “Seriously, though.  Thank you so much.  We’d be a mess if you weren’t so damn good at this.”  

The assassin shoved her lightly.  “Don’t get soft on me.  We’re about to wade into a war.”  

Even though her words were laced with humor, Audrey understood the warning just beneath the surface.  They couldn’t afford to lose focus now.  Any one mistake could cost them the earth.  

“Noted.”  

“Carter, do you copy?”  

Audrey placed a hand to her earpiece, turning away from Caroline to reply, “I copy.  What’s happening?”  

“Darcy Lewis is awake,” Erin’s voice informed her.  “In case you wanted to know.  She’s in bed thirteen.”  

“Thank you, Erin,” Audrey said.  Relief was rushing over her, and she almost cracked a smile.  Turning to Caroline, she said, “Foster’s intern just woke up.  I’m going to see how she’s doing.  Keep this up.”  

“Copy that,” Caroline replied.  

Audrey sped down to the infirmary, walking so quickly she almost broke into a jog.  Something had been saved.  Darcy had survived, which—she hoped—was a sign that their luck was turning around.  When she reached the hospital, she counted the curtains until she reached thirteen, then tugged it open and poked her head in.  

Jane had beat her to Darcy’s bedside, which was no surprise, really.  The blonde smiled down at Darcy.  The sight of her in the bed, alive, combined with her exhaustion and the amount of adrenaline in her bloodstream, almost made her start crying on the spot.  “You have no idea how happy I am that you’re okay,” she told Darcy.  

“I’m glad someone’s happy.”  She scowled.  “I signed up for this internship for college credit,  _ not  _ because I wanted to get  _ shot in the goddamn leg! _ ”  

“She’s on a lot of pain-killers,” Jane told Audrey matter-of-factly.  

What an odd change of roles this was.  Jane was the one with her head on straight, while Darcy was rambling.  

“I’m going to fucking  _ strangle  _ that sonofabitch with his dumb  _ hat.   _ His stupid ugly moose hat.  I’m literally going to hobble out of the helicarrier and murder him with my bare hands, because what the  _ fuck.”   _ She turned to Jane suddenly, eyes softening.  “Janey, d’you think they’ll give me more of the little pills—the… what are they called, the no-pain ones.”  

Jane raised an eyebrow, as if actually considering it.  “No, unfortunately.  I don’t think they will.”  

Darcy pouted.  “I hate it here.  I want to get the stupid bullet out of my leg.”  

“It’s not in your leg anymore,” Jane reminded her gently.  

“What the—where do they even put it?  Can I have it?  As a souvenir?”  

The two both turned to Audrey expectantly.  

“Um,” the blonde said.  “I could try and arrange that, I suppose, but I’m not… sure.  Uh.”  

“Audrey,” Darcy whispered loudly.  Audrey raised an eyebrow, and Darcy beckoned for her to come closer.  She did, stepping around the side of Darcy’s bed and leaning in for the brunette to whisper in her ear.  “You promise you’ll punch that asshole in the face for me?” she asked.  

Audrey snorted.  

“I promise.”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me forever because it was one of the hardest chapters I’ve had to write.  It’s a bit of a filler, but HOLY CRAP GUYS WE MADE IT TO THE BATTLE OF NEW YORK.  THE BATTLE OF NEW YORK IS HAPPENING NEXT CHAPTER.
> 
> !!!!!
> 
> I’ve been anxiously awaiting this moment since I started this fic last June.  A big thanks to all of you who stuck with me through all my erratic updating and supported me throughout this project.  We’re not even close to finished yet, and I can’t wait for everything to come.  
> 
> As always, I hope you leave a review.  What do you think of Audrey’s team?  Audrey and Darcy?  Let me know!  


	13. A Shortening Fuse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle for mankind kicks off to a rocky start.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to CatrinaSL for betaing this!! Also warning but I use the word "alien" a lot this chapter.

**Chapter Thirteen:** A Shortening Fuse

"Audrey, you there?"

Audrey recognized the sound of Steve's voice instantly. "I'm here."

"Suit up," Steve instructed. Audrey's legs started moving on their own, starting off towards the armory. "I'm on my way to get Romanoff and Barton ready. Stark headed out a few minutes ago, and we're planning on taking one of the jets in ten. Gather your team and take another one out in twenty. Loki's made his first move."

She stilled. Her pulse was racing. "What's it looking like?" she asked, though she almost didn't want to know.

"Right now? We aren't sure. Tony's reporting something that looks like a portal of sorts, but then his comms got cut off. What we know is that it's time to fight back."

Audrey inhaled sharply. She didn't say anything for a long moment.

"Hey," Steve told her gently. "If we stay focused, we can do this."

Right. Focus. _Deep breaths, Audrey._ She could do this. _They_ could do this. If Steve could keep his head on straight after waking up seventy years in the future to a battle against a god and a daughter he never knew about, and _still_ find it in him to fight, she could too.

She took another deep breath to gather her thoughts. "Copy that," she answered clearly. "Good luck, Captain."

A beat. "Same to you, Agent."

_You can do this. You can do this. You can do this._

Audrey squared her shoulders. It was time to save the world.

And she was off.

She lifted a hand to her earpiece, adjusting her channel to connect with Caroline's. "Carmichael, do you copy?"

"Yes ma'am," was Caroline's reply.

"Are there any pilots with you?"

Audrey waited a moment, before Caroline's voice returned to the audio feed. "We've got two. Why?"

"Loki's made his first move. Suit up, and tell your first batch of soldiers to do the same. We're wheels up in twenty."

"Copy that."

Audrey pulled a rubber band off her wrist and began to gather her hair up in a ponytail. The snap of the band kept her rooted in reality, kept her from drifting away into a daydream of the worst case scenario. Her feet pounded against the Helicarrier's floor as she marched to the armory.

Quickly, she changed out of her clothes and into the suit. To her surprise, the cape wasn't as tattered as it had been when she left it. Tony must've conducted some repairs while she was running around trying to find any victims of the attack.

Audrey stole the slightest glance at her reflection in the mirror.

She looked far more powerful than she felt. The woman in the reflection actually looked like she knew what she was doing.

Which Audrey... _didn't_.

Looking the part was a start, though.

"Focus," she mumbled. Her gaze drifted left to a shelf of weapons. Audrey crossed over to it and frantically pushed the glass door open, reaching inside for a duffel bag, before gathering as much ammunition as she could, as well as knives and guns.

Maybe she should call Peggy. To say goodbye, in case things went downhill.

 _No_ , she told herself firmly. She needed all the reason not to let the worst thing happen. Audrey hoisted the bag over her shoulder and hit the button, unlocking the armory door. She needed to prepare herself for battle.

* * *

 

In the hangar, Audrey found Caroline leading a dozen or so agents onto a jet. When Caroline caught sight of Audrey, she strode over towards her and raised an eyebrow in greeting. "Are you ready for this?"

Audrey let out a breath, and looked out over at the jet full of agents, ready to sacrifice their lives.

Refocusing on Caroline, she answered, "I hope so."

"Well, we don't have any time to contemplate. Let's go."

Nodding, Audrey started following Caroline onto the jet. She was almost through the door when she heard a familiar voice screaming at her. " _Audrey!"_ someone was shouting. " _Wait!"_

The blonde turned sharply, the motion almost causing her to knock Caroline over with the duffle bag.

"Let me just take that," Caroline said, yanking the bag away from her and turning on her heel. She disappeared inside the jet.

Audrey squinted, trying to see who was shouting at her. As the person came closer, hurling themselves forwards in a clumsy sprint, she recognized who it was—Lindsey. She was carrying a briefcase in her hands and waving it madly as she ran.

Audrey jogged down the ramp to meet her, and stop her from potentially having a heart attack. "My god, Lindsey," she said. "Are you okay?"

Lindsey gave her an exasperated look. " _You're_ the one who's about to kick alien ass. I got you a gift."

Normally, Audrey would say that this was the wrong time for exchanging presents, but she knew that Lindsey's brand of gift was slightly different than the normal variety. Last year, she'd gotten her a new taser for Christmas. And for her birthday, she'd gifted her with a pair of heels with retractable knives on the toes.

Lindsey pushed the briefcase into her hands. "I reworked these batons so that they recirculate their electricity and don't have a limit on them."

Audrey blinked, taking the case. "Don't talk science to me right now," she pleaded.

The dark-skinned woman rolled her eyes. "Basically," Lindsey explained, "touch a man, and he dies. Hit an alien hard enough, and it'll also die."

Audrey raised an impressed eyebrow. "Wow," she mused. "Thanks."

"Good luck," Lindsey offered, pulling her into a quick hug. "See you on the other side."

"See you," Audrey said, though she wasn't entirely sure. She turned and sprinted back to the jet, collapsing into a seat next to Caroline and hurrying to secure the buckle over her chest. The engine was roaring as the hangar door opened for it to take off, and before she knew it, they were in the air. The Helicarrier grew smaller and smaller in the distance.

Audrey ran her hand around the hatch on the briefcase Claudia had given her. She unbuckled it, and opened the top to find two silver batons, with bands of white around the handles. Audrey carefully lifted one up in her hands. It fit perfectly in her hand. The weight was just right. She grinned to herself, trying to remember Natasha's lessons. _Use their weight against them. Cross your batons to block an attack._ She remembered her mother's lessons. _Go low. Hit them as hard as you can._

She reached over for the duffle bag, dropping the baton case inside and zipping it up. She kept it in a white-knuckled grip in an attempt to stop her hands from shaking.

Once she could see the Manhattan skyline in the distance, she turned to the agents. "Our focus is evacuation. Take people underground, if you can. If there's anything posing a threat to civilians, you protect them. We need to clear the area so that there's the least amount of casualties possible."

"What exactly are we up against?" one of the agents shouted over the roar of the engine.

Audrey blew out a breath. "Nothing we've ever seen before. Captain Rogers has informed me that they're, um, aliens." She cringed. "But they're bipedal, so their anatomy is probably somewhat similar to a human's. We've got the NYPD as backup, but we're probably more qualified than they are when it comes to stuff like this."

She felt like that was a safe thing to assume, since the NYPD mostly dealt with muggers and murderers, not extraterrestrial invasions.

But, whatever. Maybe they would surprise her.

"The first thing we have to do is get to HQ and get comms to the Helicarrier back up," Audrey instructed. "Deputy Director Hill has instructed Agent Carmichael on how to do so. As soon as we land, she is going to be serving as your commanding officer. Listen to her." She turned to Caroline, giving her a small smile.

"We'll be on the ground in two," the pilot announced from the cockpit.

A hand was placed over her own, and Audrey glanced down. Caroline was giving her a reassuring glance. "We can do this," she swore. Audrey's heart was racing in her chest. She was almost worried that the fear would paralyze her. Caroline smirked. "We're the Aud-Squad, goddammit."

Audrey's terrified expression dropped, replaced by exasperation. The panic had subsided a little, to make room for her disgust at the monicker. "I still hate that name."

"I don't care," Caroline said gleefully. "I think it's wonderful."

"You would," Audrey muttered, as the helipad on top of the S.H.I.E.L.D. base came into view. She took a deep breath. If this was her final battle, she was at least going to put up a fight.

The jet hovered over the roof before slowly lowering itself onto the helipad. Audrey shot a nervous smile around the jet at the hard-faced agents. They'd already prepared themselves to die. She dropped the smile. It was only fair that she do the same.

Once the door slid open, everything was a blur. Her red boots were pounding on the concrete as she rushed into the building.

Audrey was sprinting down the stairwell to the main lobby. Since most of the actual S.H.I.E.L.D. base was underground, the building wasn't that tall. It was quicker for her to book it down the stairs as opposed to using the elevator.

As soon as she reached the lobby, she found herself confronted with a dilemma. _How am I supposed to get all these people to listen?_

She squinted. Yelling was an option. So was trying to whistle, but she wasn't sure she actually… could, so it might be best to refrain from that. Telling every individual person to listen was going to be an issue.

 _The PA._ The PA system. That was doable.

Audrey shoved her way past the agents and interns towards the receptionist's desk in the front of the building. "Sir," she demanded. "I'm going to need the phone."

The man looked up at her. "Who are _you?_ " he asked, raising an unamused eyebrow at her uniform.

She blinked at him in disbelief. _Seriously? Now is not the time for this_ , she wanted to scream.

Instead, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her S.H.I.E.L.D. badge. "I'm Agent Carter, level nine. I need access to the PA system _right now._ That's an order."

His eyes widened as he recognized who she was. Hurriedly, he scrambled to grab the phone and set it down in front of her. His fingers rushed over the keypad, punching in the number for the PA. "You're good," he told her.

Audrey cleared her throat—too close to the phone, apparently, because the sound echoed all around her in the lobby. She flushed, but didn't have time to dwell on the mistake. "Director Fury has declared a state of emergency," she announced. Her brain raced through the list of security protocols would be best to enact, since he hadn't actually… specified. "We're undergoing emergency protocol 779—in the event of an invasion," she decided. "All field agents are being called to assist with civilian evacuation, and all other agents are ordered to take shelter in the sublevels of the base.

All around the lobby, S.H.I.E.L.D. employees were sending her funny looks. She glanced down at the uniform and rolled her eyes. Why did _nobody_ take her seriously? They took Steve seriously, and his uniform was almost identical to hers, save for the skirt—

Oh. _Of course._

The phone was snatched out of Audrey's hand abruptly. "He—" she started to protest, before realizing that it had been Caroline.

"Hey! You're receiving a direct order from the head of this organization," she shouted. "You're going to listen, or you're not only going to be fired, but you're going to be endangering civilians by refusing an order."

Caroline glared at them. A beat passed, and then, they were suddenly thrown into action. She slammed the phone down on the counter, and the receptionist reached up to put it back properly.

"Let's go," she told Audrey.

"Where?"

"Rogers, Barton, and Romanoff are a few miles east. It's going to be a waste of time if you try to reach them on foot. You need a motorcycle."

Audrey glanced out at traffic, hoping it wouldn't be horrible if she wanted to go by car instead.

It was a mess. People were trying to evacuate and police cars were trying to figure out what the hell was happening, and unfortunately Caroline was right. She needed a motorcycle.

Audrey _knew_ how to ride one. It had just… been a while since she'd driven one outside of a license test.

Like, since the early nineties.

But she didn't have a choice. Audrey nodded at Caroline. "Thanks," she mumbled, before lifting the duffle of weapons over her shoulder and sprinting in the direction of the garage. She shoved past the agents, who were slowly starting to come together and find some order. Audrey wasn't worried about them. She knew that Caroline would be a good leader.

She cast a glance out the window, at the gigantic space portal above Stark Tower that was currently spitting aliens on flying scooters out above the West End. _That_ worried her.

Inside the garage, she found the motorcycle closest to the door and kicked one leg over the side. Before she started driving, she looped the duffel strap around her arms into a knot to keep it from slipping off. There were at least a dozen grenades in there, eight knives, two machine guns, and two murder batons. She didn't want a bag carrying that particular combination of weapons to get jostled around too much.

Audrey started the engine, revving it a bit before hitting the gas and speeding down the driveway and out onto the street. " _Shitshit_ shit!" she cried, trying to keep from slamming the bike into any of the cars on the street, which were packed together _far too closely_ to be legal following distance.

People were screaming, children were crying, and families were running down the sidewalk, dragging slower members behind.

Audrey made a left to dodge a traffic jam. The turn almost sent her crashing into a little girl, who stood in the middle of the road crying. She hit the brakes, stamping her foot down on the street in an attempt to stop the vehicle before it collided with the girl.

Audrey swung her leg over so that she was standing up and ran to the girl. She must've been four, or so. She was tiny. "Hey," she greeted, wrapping an arm around her and guiding her out of traffic. "My name is Audrey. Where are your parents?"

God, she was praying that they hadn't been killed.

"I don't know. I don't know. I—" the girl shook her head, scrubbing tears out of her eyes. "I got lost in the crowd."

Audrey prayed to anything out there that they were still alive. "Can you tell me your name?"

"Elena," she said. Her eyes were wide and she refused to make eye contact. She seemed to be in shock.

"Okay, we're going to find your parents, okay? Or we'll find a police officer who can."

"Why do you have a cape?" the girl asked.

Audrey thought about how best to explain the situation to a child. "Um," she said, "my friend made it for me. Now, why don't you come with me, and we'll find someone who can help you?"

Elena nodded slowly. "Okay." She swallowed nervously. "My legs hurt."

Audrey inhaled slowly, pursing her lips. She raised a questioning eyebrow. "Can I carry you?" she asked.

The little girl paused to consider for a moment, before nodding. "Okay," she agreed.

Audrey carefully scooped the girl up in her arms, running down the street in search of a police officer. It proved to be more of a struggle than she expected, since almost all the police cars she found were abandoned.

Maybe she should call 911? But how would they even reach her?

She shook her head.

The bag on her back swung with every step, but she tried her best to limit its mobility.

A loud blast sounded from above, and instinctively, Audrey ducked to protect Elena in case it was a bomb. When no hit came, she hazarded a look up at the sky. It was a quinjet, and it was about to crash.

Wait. She and Caroline had taken one quinjet, and theirs was currently parked on top of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

So that meant that this one had to be—

It had to be Steve. And Natasha, and Clint.

Oh god. _Oh my god_. She couldn't just get Steve back and lose him two days later.

Audrey pushed the thoughts away. Right now, she needed to focus on the issue at hand: Elena.

A siren to her right caught Audrey's attention. She spun around, running towards it as fast as possible. The firetruck was parked outside a building, helping a man escape his crumbling apartment.

"I'm going to drop you off with the firefighters, okay?" Audrey told Elena, who had buried her face into her Audrey's shoulder. "They're going to help you. And if you need my help again… you can probably find my based on my cape."

She carried Elena over to the truck. "Excuse me!" she shouted through the window. One of the firefighters—a woman with soft features—looked over at her. "This girl lost her parents and she's hurt," Audrey explained. "Can you help?"

"Yes, yes," the woman said, rushing over to the door and opening it.

"Her name is Elena," Audrey said. "Thank you."

She looked at Elena once more. "You're going to be okay, I promise," she swore, even though she wasn't sure if it was true. "Remember. The cape."

The girl nodded one more time, and Audrey forced herself to leave. She needed to find her motorcycle.

Honestly, if she hadn't spent thirty years in New York, she would've had no idea how to get around. All the streets looked the same at this moment—partially wrecked, filled with abandoned cars and panicking people.

Finally, she saw it. The bike was lying on its side on the sidewalk next to a diner. She adjusted the bag on her shoulders and ran towards it. Audrey righted it and swung her leg over, starting the engine once again.

At the intersection, Audrey made a left towards the Tower. The turn was too sharp, though, and the bike almost slipped out from under her.

"Oh, _hell!"_ she shouted, trying desperately to regain control. Audrey gripped the handlebars, holding on for dear life as she roared down the street, dodging screaming pedestrians and honking cars. "Get underground!" she shouted.

Audrey's heart sank. None of them had asked to risk their lives, and it was happening to them anyway.

Before dwindling any longer, Audrey was back racing down the streets. She caught a glimpse of unmistakable red hair in front of her, and she was filled with relief. _Natasha._ At least she wasn't alone anymore.

She did her best to dodge the wreckage of the crashed jet next to them, but it didn't do much good. Eventually, she just gave up, stopping the bike and hopping over the shrapnel instead. "Romanoff!" she shouted, darting between small fires that had been caused, she assumed, by the crash.

Natasha turned around, eyebrows furrowed as she searched for the source of the call.

"I brought weapons," Audrey announced, struggling to untangle the bag from her shoulders. She finally managed to get the straps off her arms, and then reached inside for her baton before holding it out to Natasha.

"Always need more of those," Clint remarked. "Got any arrows?"

Audrey shrugged, as Natasha took the bag from her. "It's statistically likely. There's also grenades. And two machine guns."

"Uh, guys?" Tony's voice crackled through the speaker of Audrey's comms unit. "Remember that army Loki was talking about? Well. They're here."

Raising an eyebrow, Natasha shot an unamused glance up at the portal. "I can see that," she retorted. "On your three."

"What," Tony snorted. "Did you stop for lunch?"

"Tony," another voice interrupted—Hill. "We're gonna need your balcony cleared as soon as possible, Jane thinks she's got a way to close the wormhole."

He grunted. "I would, but—" The sound of an explosion cut him off. "I'm kind of busy kicking an alien's ass. I'll put it on my to-do list, though. You guys coming?"

Audrey switched the voltage on for her batons. "Damn right."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it! Thank you guys for all the feedback, and a shoutout to LadyBritish for leaving such detailed reviews. This chapter is dedicated to her for getting me out of my writer's block and also making me cry over my own characters.
> 
> Please leave a review on this chapter telling me what you liked/didn't like! I love hearing feedback <3 
> 
> Also!! If you guys saw Wonder Woman and cried about it like me I have a fix-it fic called "send me an angel" that you can check out! Thanks.
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter 14: All We Are
> 
> Well, Audrey thought, looking around. This is hell.


	14. All We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Avengers assemble.

_Well_ , Audrey thought, looking around,  _this is hell._

People were screaming and fleeing, buildings were on fire, traffic had stopped completely and families were abandoning their cars and belongings. Audrey knew that evacuation would be too hard to accomplish on such a large scale, especially now that Loki's army was arriving. God. If only they'd had their epiphany about  _where_ he planned on directing the attack the slightest bit earlier. Now, they were trapped in the middle of a battlefield with the risk of two million civilians getting caught in the crossfire.

She knew that Clint and Natasha were trained primarily in offensive measures. They were assassins, after all. She was their best bet for defensive strategizing and trying to save the civilians.

"What's the plan?" Barton asked her.

Audrey bit her lip, considering their options. "Evac's out of the question. But we need to get them out of the line of fire." They couldn't simply hide inside, as the city was catching fire and half the buildings she'd passed on the way were collapsed or on their way to collapsing. Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a subway entrance and it hit her. "Get them underground." She looked up at Barton. "Tell them to get into the subway tunnels. Don't bring their belongings. Take their families, their pets, whoever is at risk of dying. We can get emergency aid crews to use the trains to get to injured people and bring food and water."

Clint nodded, turning to Natasha. "You got that, Nat?"

The redhead nodded, turning on her comms and alerting the rest of the team. In the meantime, Audrey set her channel to reach Caroline and relayed the plan. Before she could wait for a response from Caroline, a Chitauri was in front of her. She traced its path back to oh,  _lord_ —back to the  _gaping hole in the sky_. It was an ugly creature, resembling a bug, only twice as big as her and wearing armor. It was on top of a… flying scooter? She guessed? Audrey didn't have the time to assess, because it was veering towards her  _way too quickly._

Audrey dropped to the ground and narrowly avoided having its vehicle collide with her head. She hit the switches on her batons and they began to hum with electricity. Lindsey had not been joking when she said she amped up the power. As soon as Audrey regained her footing, she lunged at the alien, smashing one of the batons into the side of its head. It crashed to the ground, disoriented, but still managed to stand up and run towards her.

"Oh no."

Lifting up both her arms, she crossed the batons to form an X before splitting them apart and pushing the Chitauri's arm into the air. She spun, kicking it across the face and sending it flying to the ground. As soon as it was down, she pounced on top of it, holding her baton to its chest. It twitched and hissed, before finally going limp.

She caught sight of Barton and Romanoff, working as a team like always. Clint was firing arrows at the Chitauri before they could reach the pair, while Natasha was aiming bullets at any approaching aliens.

Audrey felt something touch her shoulder and she whipped around, holding her batons up to defend herself, but it was only Steve. "Whoa," he said. "It's me."

"Sorry," she answered. "Sorry."

Instead of replying, he pushed Audrey to the ground and threw his shield hard. Audrey rolled over just in time to see it hit one of the Chitauri squarely in the chest, knocking it off its vehicle and sending it flying to the ground. The shield bounced back into Steve's hand, and he used the other to offer Audrey a hand in getting up.

There was a loud screeching noise from above, and Audrey raised her eyes to the portal. Emerging from it was something that looked like a prehistoric fish dinosaur thing, except it was made of metal, and also flying. "What. The hell."

Steve looked over at her, raising an eyebrow.

"This is not normal," Audrey told him. "Just… so you know. This doesn't typically just happen in this day and age."

"Get down!" Natasha shouted. Audrey did as she was told, ducking and grabbing her cape to protect herself as a grenade went off, knocking three Chitauri out of the sky.

"Those are… very effective," she mused.

"They're a lot stronger than I remember," Steve replied. He pointed to an overturned taxi a few feet away. "We need to get over there."

When the smoke cleared, the pair took off, ducking behind the car just in time to narrowly avoid a blast from one of the Chitauri's guns.

"You seeing this, Stark?" Steve inquired into the comms.

"Seeing. Still working on believing," was Tony's reply. "Where's Banner? Has he shown up yet?"

Steve and Audrey turned to each other, confused. As far as she knew, Banner's location was still a question mark. They didn't know where he was or even if he was still alive.

"Banner?" she asked.

"Just keep me posted," Tony said, before his audio was replaced by a loud crashing noise.

Audrey furrowed her brow but forced herself to move on. There wasn't time to try to understand Tony's comment. Instead, she needed to work on the task at hand: not dying.

There was motion behind her as Natasha and Clint joined them behind the taxi.

"There are a lot of civilians still out there. You guys work on getting them underground," Clint said.

Steve took a look out at the street running beneath the overpass, where hoards of screaming people ran for their lives. "Do you think you can hold them off?"

A grin spread across Clint's lips, and he strung an arrow into his bow. "Captain," he said, taking aim at one of the Chitauri, "It would be my genuine pleasure."

Steve nodded, motioning for Audrey to follow him. Audrey raised her batons and watched the captain dive gracefully off the side of the overpass, tucking and rolling as he landed atop a car. Knowing there was no way in hell she could ever match that finesse, Audrey chose to simply leap off the side of the road, bending her knees to prepare for a rough landing.

The shocks radiated up through her legs for a moment. They were bad, yes, but not as bad as she was expecting. It was only a moment before she'd recovered, and was off running after Steve as he threw himself in front of civilians, pointing them towards the nearest subway entrances.

When they'd cleared off the sidewalk, Steve turned to her. "We stick together, okay?"

Audrey nodded. "Okay, d—" she cut herself off. She had been about to call him dad. But now was really,  _really_ not the time to make it weird. "Okay," she reaffirmed. "Let's go."

Together, they charged across the street, directing people towards the nearest subway tunnels and encouraging them to spread the word. While Audrey was holding one kid in her arms and letting another hang onto her back, Steve was hurling his shield at any alien that dared come near. As Steve actually carried an older woman towards the entrance, Audrey watched his back, whacking a Chitauri that attempted to attack them. She held the baton to its neck for a moment, watching as the entire thing began twitching. Then it collapsed, pieces of armor flying off.

As they cleared off one block, they moved onto the next, where the street was barricaded with police cars. While Steve hurled himself over the cars with ease, Audrey struggled to keep up, choosing to hop from the roof of one car to the next instead of throwing herself up and down from the street to a car and back again.

"Get down!" she shouted at a police officer holding up his gun. She dove in front of him, tackling him to the ground and pulling her cape over him as a Chitauri blast hit a few feet away from them, shattering the concrete of the road.

"What the hell are you?" the officer asked, coughing and brushing rubble off his face. Audrey didn't know how to answer his question, so instead she offered a hand to help him up.

"No real time to answer that," she replied, before stepping onto a hood of a nearby car and taking off. Steve wasn't far ahead, using his shield to block another group of officers from a blast.

"I need men in these buildings," Steve told them. "There are people inside that are gonna run into the line of fire. You take them through the basement or through the subway. You keep them off the streets. I need a perimeter as far back as 39th."

"Why the hell should I listen to you?" the man grumbled. Audrey rolled her eyes. Why did people choose  _now_ to be stubborn? In the middle of an alien invasion?

Neither one had the chance to answer, as a group of the Chitauri approached toward them at impossible speeds. Audrey jumped off the roof of the car she was on and latched onto one of the aliens, wrapping her arms around its neck. She threw her fist at its head over and over again, until she had time to unsheath one of her batons and hold it to the monster's chest. It became quite apparent as the creature collapsed that Audrey hadn't thought this through very well, because as the Chitauri fell to the ground, so did she. At the last second, she kicked off its body, landing on the roof of a nearby car and sliding off it pathetically.

"Oof."

Steve hopped down to the ground next to her, holding his shield up to deflect another alien's assault.

"Convinced?" Steve asked the police chief.

The man nodded, taking out a walkie-talkie and repeating Steve's orders. The officers got moving and began moving civilians out of the way.

From above them, Audrey heard a piercing roaring noise. Cautiously, she righted herself and searched for its source. It was one of the prehistoric fish monster things, reacting as Tony fired a few dozen warheads at it, sending it crashing into a building and turning the entire structure to rubble.

"Well," came Tony's familiar voice through the comms. "We've got its attention." Audrey saw him flying around haphazardly, trying to avoid being knocked out of the sky. "What the hell was step two?"

Quite honestly? Audrey hadn't thought that far. She didn't even remember the establishment of a step one. "Maybe trying to fly higher?" she suggested, wincing as the flying vessel crashed into another building, sending bricks and furniture raining down on the streets. "It might help reduce collateral damage."

"Good point," Tony answered. He flew up another hundred feet in the sky, and the vessel followed. "Now what?"

Audrey rolled her eyes. For someone who normally refused to listen to anyone, Tony was asking a lot of questions. "Now fly  _away."_

Tony did so, leading the flying vessel east, towards the coast. She wasn't sure if it was a creature, a machine, or both, so she didn't know if it would become tired out. She hoped.

"Meet us back on the overpass," Natasha commanded. Audrey turned, looking for Steve, and found him a few feet away holding his shield over his head.

She was about to call out to him when yet another Chitauri stopped in front of her. Audrey was unable to act before it lunged for her, throwing her back into a car so hard she felt the metal around her being crushed by the impact of her body. As she sank to the ground, Audrey tried to find her footing, but the world was spinning and her head was throbbing and the alien just kept getting closer. She felt heavy and tired, and it seemed like her bones were actually rattling. When the alien moved to attack again, she lifted up an arm in an attempt to block its hit, but the punch never came. Instead, the Chitauri lifted her and hurled her back onto the ground again.

 _Ow. Owowowowow._ Her spine ached. She could barely feel her legs through the pain. It was like trying to distinguish voices through a chorus of screams.

Audrey flinched as the alien reached down and picked her up by the hair. She let out a scream in agony as it dangled her a few feet above the ground. Her vision was turning blue at the edges and she was forgetting how to do the whole  _breathing thing._ As the alien proceeded to deliver punch after punch to her stomach, she began coughing up blood. Audrey finally mustered up the strength to pull one of the batons from her belt, flailing around until it touched the Chitauri, surprising it enough to force it to let her go, and she dropped to the ground, wheezing and shaking. She watched it raise a fist above her, and crossed her arms in front of her face in a last attempt to block it.

Before the hit could come, the Chitauri collapsed, landing on top of Audrey and pinning her to the ground.

Someone crouched down next to her. "Audrey?" the person asked. "Sweetheart?" Whose voice was that? The only person who ever called her sweetheart was Peggy, or sometimes Daniel. She remembered studying butterflies in a garden and Peggy calling her in for lunch. She'd made sandwiches. Audrey was little. Daniel was there, and he was kind and brought her books to read about butterflies and other insects, and how caterpillars went through a process called  _metamorphosis_.

Audrey could practically feel the sunshine of the memory, the blades of grass itching her ankles, the way her mother radiated as Audrey ran over gushing about the bugs she'd seen that day. But a series of gunshots tore her from the memory.

She blinked her eyes open slowly, her head still throbbing and her heart still racing. Her mouth tasted metallic, and she still had blood caught in the back of her throat. It wasn't Peggy  _or_ Daniel looking down at her. It was her dad— _Steve_ —holding her head above the ground and checking her neck for a pulse.

"I'm okay," Audrey rasped. "I'm—" She broke off, sputtering out coughs. She held her hand over her mouth until the fit passed, and when she looked at her palm after, it was sprayed with red. Steve eyed her with worry, but she shook off his concern. Now that she'd finally gotten a break from being treated like a human rag doll, she could feel her body begin to repair itself, mending her skin back together and the pain slowly began to subside. She was weak, but she'd heal soon.

"Can you walk?" Steve asked.

Audrey slowly sat up, easing herself onto her feet again. "I'm okay," she repeated. "I swear, I'm okay."

"We have to meet back up with Romanoff and Barton a few blocks up."

Nodding, Audrey resheathed her baton. The first tentative step she took sent shocks up her leg, and her brain felt like it was bouncing off the sides of her skull. She winced, but tried to ignore the pain. If they didn't get going now, they would die. Worse, the entire city could be wiped out, and then the entire planet could become enslaved.

"Let's go," she said. Although Steve looked worried, and more than a little unconvinced, her followed, and the two began sprinting back to the rest of the team. Audrey opted not to hop from car roof to car roof this time, instead weaving her way through the lanes of traffic. The area had grown almost quiet, abandoned by the Chitauri since there were no more civilians to kill.

As soon as the bridge was in sight, Audrey began to pick up her speed. She and Steve climbed over an empty bus and used it to boost themselves back onto the overpass, where Natasha, Clint, and Thor waited. Bodies of Chitauri soldiers lay scattered around the area.

"What's the story upstairs?" Steve asked, though Audrey couldn't tell if he was talking about Stark tower, where the Tesseract was located, or about the gigantic hole in the sky. As soon as the thought struck Audrey, she remembered a Pixies' song that she and Tony had loved when they were younger.  _Everything is gonna burn, we'll all take turns, I'll get mine too._ She winced, remembering how it ended, hoping that it wouldn't prove to be true.

"The powers surrounding the cube are impenetrable," Thor relayed. He lifted his arm suddenly, throwing his hammer at one of the fish monster things, and it shattered, metal plates flying everywhere. It bounced back to him soon after. "These Leviathans and the Chitauri soldiers must be our focus for now."  _Leviathans._ So that's what they were called.

"Thor's right," Tony agreed. "We gotta deal with these guys first."

"How do we do this?" Natasha asked.

Somehow, all of them knew that the question was directed at Steve. Through recent events, he had become their unofficial leader.

Steve, noticing everyone's eyes on him, clenched his jaw and looked around. "As a team," he finally decided.

"I have unfinished business with Loki," Thor declared.

"Yeah?" Clint scoffed from his place beside Audrey. "Get in line," he muttered, loading another arrow onto his bow in preparation for another attack. Audrey sympathized with him. No doubt Loki had done awful things to Thor, but Clint had lost agency. That was terrifying and violative and cruel.

"Save it," Steve interjected. "Loki's gonna keep this fight focused on us and that's what we need. Without him, these things could run wild. We got Stark up top, he's gonna need us to…" Steve trailed off, and Audrey looked up from brushing rubble off her uniform to see what had stopped him mid-sentence.

It was Bruce. He was covered in dirt, missing his glasses, and riding a motorcycle that looked literally three seconds from falling apart into a pile of metal scraps. Relief filled her that he was alive. Not only that, but that he was here and that he'd managed to shake himself from the Hulk stage. She would never admit it, but with his hair tousled, and the top two buttons of his shirt undone, as he strode confidently towards them, he looked rather handsome.

 _Oh my god_ , she told herself.  _So, so,_ so  _not the time._

"So," Bruce remarked, his tone conversational. "This all seems...horrible."

"I've seen worse," Natasha replied, a knowing smile spreading across her lips.

Bruce returned the smile with a wry grin of his own. "Sorry."

"No," Natasha cut him off. "We could use a little worse."

"We got Banner," Audrey told Tony, switching her comms to him. "Just like you said."

"Tell him to suit up," Tony answered.

Audrey looked from Bruce, to Steve, to Natasha, and then back to Bruce. "Uhhh… okay."

Tony announced, "I'm bringing the party to you."

There was a humming sound coming from the sky, and it was getting louder and louder as the seconds passed. Audrey spotted Tony as he made a sharp turn around a skyscraper, a Leviathan following not far behind. The creature/machine smashed the building as it passed, sending glass flying everywhere.

Natasha raised an unamused eyebrow. "I don't see how that's a party."

Bruce raised an eyebrow at the monster, watching it tear through buildings as it approached. He glanced over his shoulder at it and then looked back at the group. Slowly, Bruce began striding towards it.

"Doctor Banner—" Steve interrupted. He seemed like he was going to stop Bruce, but his train of thought changed entirely. "Now seems like a really good time for you to get angry."

Audrey's heart began to thud in her chest as the Leviathan got closer and closer to Bruce. He and the rest of them were going to be crushed if something didn't happen. And soon.

"That's my secret, Captain," Bruce announced, smiling slightly. "I'm always angry."

As he turned back to face the creature, he slowly turned green, gaining height and muscle. His shirt split into a heap of rags that eventually fell off, and before Audrey knew it, the mild-mannered doctor was gone, replaced by a beast that was unafraid of anything. The Hulk whipped around, throwing a fist straight into the monster and sending shockwaves through its body. It flipped over, and as its tail began to block out the sun, Audrey realized that now would be a good time for her to  _get the hell out of the way_.

As Steve threw himself and his shield in front of Natasha, Audrey tackled Clint, putting herself between him and the danger. Just before the Leviathan crushed them, Tony aimed and fired a blast at it, tearing it into pieces that flew in a hundred different directions.

Once the shrapnel had settled, Audrey moved out of Clint's way and looked up at the skyline. Dozens of Chitauri, all screaming what appeared to be battle cries, were clutching the sides of the buildings lining the street. If they weren't angry before, they certainly were now.

In response to their shrieking, the Hulk let out a roar. Audrey pulled her batons from their sheaths and crossed them in front of her.

The Avengers stood in a circle, facing outwards, weapons at the ready. The Chitauri, a so-called unstoppable force, were barreling towards an immovable object.

As Audrey switched the voltage on in her batons, flipping her hair out of her face, she dared the Chitauri to come closer.  _Let's see how unstoppable they actually are._

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god it's been so long. I'm so sorry, school this past year has been really tough and there was a lot of ~family drama~ happening, but I'm back to writing now. I've finished chapter 15, most of 16, and started 17, so those should all be coming soon. In fact, chapter 15 should probably be coming your way on Friday!
> 
> I want to thank Quinn (jabberwocking) and Emilia (Emilia Christine) for being so helpful in letting me bounce ideas off them and for hyping me up. They're both incredible and both of them have amazing Marvel fics out. Quinn's story Mirror Mirror is about the Token Evil Teammate that the Avengers should have, and Emilia's is about the romance that blooms between a SHIELD agent and Steve Rogers following his defrosting. Both are excellently written and so fascinating and I can't recommend them enough!
> 
> I haven't seen Infinity War yet but I did read the spoilers and I'm very excite to ignore a lot of what happened in the movie! But we've got a long way to go until then.
> 
> As always, thank you to my beta CatrinaSL, and to you all for sticking with me. I love you guys.
> 
> Leave a review if you feel so inclined!


	15. Faking Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blood, sweat, and tears.

" _When the lights come on, I'll be ready for this."_  -Lorde

 

Chitauri cries echoed through the city, which was almost emptied of civilians. Audrey maintained her white-knuckled grip on her batons. The circle of heroes, assembled to save humanity—oh my  _god_ that was a lot of responsibility—were poised to fight, but unsure how to start.

Still, being united gave Audrey the feeling that they could actually win.

That is, until the portal in the sky opened wider and thousands more Chitauri spilled out into the city. "Oh, hell," she muttered.

"Guys," Natasha warned, nodding her chin up to the swarms of aliens and Leviathans that were just arriving.

"What's the plan?" Audrey asked, turning to Steve.

The soldier took a minute to assess, observing the team he had to work with. One man in a robot suit, two assassins, a demigod, the Hulk, and Audrey, who, up until like last week, spent her days doing paperwork. Suddenly, the blonde started to feel way,  _way_ out of her depth.

It didn't really matter at this point, though. She was too far in to quit now. And really, the only way out of this war was through. They had no choice but to win with the world at stake.

"Alright, listen up," Steve said.

For the first time since he'd woken up, the pieces seemed to click in place. He was finally in his element, snapping out of the trance he'd been in since arriving in the future. When Audrey looked him in the eye, she found the Captain America of museums, and history textbooks, and old photographs staring back at her. But she also found the Steve Rogers in the pre-serum photos. Determined. Strong. Maybe her dad and the Captain weren't so far apart.

"Until we can close that portal up there, our priority is containment." He turned to Clint first. "Barton, I want you on that roof, eyes on everything. Call out patterns and strays." To Tony, he instructed, "Stark, you got the perimeter. Anything gets more than three blocks out, you turn it back or your turn it to ash."

Clint glanced over at Tony and asked, "Wanna give me a ride?"

Tony slid his helmet back over his face. "Better clench up, Legolas."

Audrey made a face that she knew Tony didn't notice, and watched as he wrapped an arm around Clint's torso and launched himself into the air.

The Captain then addressed Thor. "You've gotta try and bottleneck the portal. Slow them down. You've got lightning. Light the bastards up." He glanced up at the sky. "The sooner we can manage the portal, the sooner we can get Foster out here to close it."

Thor, at the mention of Jane, nodded solemnly. He swung his hammer and let it carry him to Stark's roof.

To Natasha and Audrey, Steve said, "We stay here on the ground, fighting the Chitauri that are already here. Romanoff to the east, Carter, you go west. And Hulk?"

The beast grinned at him.

"Smash."

Surprisingly obedient, the Hulk jumped up onto a nearby building, savaging any Chitauri soldier he came across. He split one in two, tossing each half at other Chitauri soldiers and sending them to the ground. Even when the Chitauri began to fire at him, he remained undeterred, backhanding them so hard they smashed into the windows of buildings a block away, before falling limp on the sidewalk.

Audrey asked Natasha, "Do you still happen to have any of those grenades?"

The redhead gave her a wicked smile, pulling three out of a compartment on her belt. Audrey grabbed them and took off running west. As she ran, dodging abandoned cars and stray piles of brick, a swarm of Chitauri began to pursue her. There were a few near misses when a couple of them got too close to her, but she refused to stop sprinting. When she felt she'd attracted a substantial number towards her and away from Steve and Natasha, she pulled out one of the grenades.

As quick as possible, she pulled out the pin, tossing it a few yards away before hurling herself behind an overturned car. She covered her ears and lifted her cape above her head, protecting herself from the blast. When she lifted her head to see if she'd actually accomplished anything, she found a pile of Chitauri corpses strung across the tops of cars.

Take  _that_ , assholes.

Something latched onto her ankle, suddenly, and Audrey screamed before she could stop herself. A Chitauri, missing both its legs and one arm, was making a last attempt to fight back. Audrey lifted up her foot, remembering Peggy's training.

 _A swift kick to the head is always a good decision. And an even better decision if you're wearing heels_.

She smashed her boot into the alien's head, and it collapsed, loosening its grip on her ankle. She pulled her leg away, but noticed that one of the Chitauri's weapons was lying next to it. She picked up the staff, surprised at its lightness.

Audrey turned around, noting another group of Chitauri in the distance. One of them screeched as it noticed her, alerting the others of her presence. As terrifying as it was to have a group of alien monster robot demons flying at her while  _screaming_ , Audrey managed to keep a straight face. She planted her feet in the ground and raised the staff.

As soon as they got close enough, and were lined up nicely, Audrey hurled the staff as hard as she could. It hit the first Chitauri solidly in the chest, but pierced through it and continued until it had also run through the three behind him. Audrey watched, almost in awe, as the four soldiers collapsed.

 _I did not think that would actually work._ She raised an eyebrow and shrugged, pleased with her success.

The break didn't last for long, though, because soon another group of Chitauri were approaching, this time on foot. Audrey pulled out the batons, remembering what Natasha had shown her.

_If you lunge towards an opponent, use one foot to push off the ground. Do your best to land as high as possible and debilitate their sight._

Audrey found herself climbing on top of the hood and onto the roof of a sedan that had been left behind. The radio was still playing inside, a report of how New York was in danger of falling to aliens. Honestly, she still couldn't believe it was true. Super soldiers? Sure. Demigods? Okay. But aliens? That was where she drew the line.

Unfortunately, the universe didn't seem to care much where Audrey's line had been drawn, as she was now grunting as she pushed off the roof of the car, landing on top of one of the Chitauri. She scrabbled her way up until she was sitting on its shoulders. Then, she held the ends of her batons to the creature's temples, doing her best not to wince at the screech it emitted before collapsing, sending Audrey tumbling to the ground.

The alien's last cry had alerted its pack, and now four more Chitauri were approaching. Audrey flipped her batons so the long end faced down. She jabbed the weapon in her left hand into one of the creature's necks. It hissed as the baton pierced through it, and she turned, using the leverage to ram it into another one of the Chitauri. From behind her, she heard a high-pitched noise, and when she turned around—

Oh  _crap_. She threw herself to the ground, narrowly avoiding a blast to the head that definitely would have killed her.

With two Chitauri down, there were still two more to go, and Audrey wasted no time throwing herself at them. Dropping her batons, she chose to swing her fist at the alien's head instead, which put a decently sized dent into its armor. She grabbed the two Chitauri by their faces, and using all the strength she could muster, smashed their heads together.

Audrey kicked one of them in the stomach for good measure, and then stamped down on the other's chest. The two creatures went limp and Audrey retrieved her batons from the ground.

While she'd been fighting, Audrey hadn't noticed a Leviathan roaring its way down the street. She hurried to grab her batons and stash them in their holsters.

She braced herself, narrowing her eyes as it opened its mouth. Keeping her eye on it over her shoulder, Audrey took off down the street, leading the Leviathan towards Steve and Natasha. She tried her best not to trip as she patted around her belt to find another grenade. Around one car, over a pile of rubble, on top of another car. She kept running faster.

The Leviathan was gaining on her. Audrey bit her lip as she ran, trying to figure out how she was going to pull this off. When her gaze landed on two cars that had collided up at the intersection, she knew that now was her chance. Glancing once over her shoulder, Audrey found herself staring straight into the jaws of the Leviathan.  _Don't panic. Don't panic. Don't panic._

She was panicking.

Audrey planted her foot on the hood of one of the cars, pulling the pin out of the grenade at the same time. She turned, throwing the grenade as hard as she could into the Leviathan's jaws. As the Leviathan flew over her, blocking out the sun, Audrey tumbled off the first car and onto the sidewalk. She latched onto the passenger door of the second car, gritting her teeth as she yanked it away from the car's body. Bracing herself for the explosion, she held the door over her head and waited.

Only a second or two passed before the Leviathan exploded, sending shrapnel flying everywhere. Metal rained down on Audrey, heavy plates of armor landing on her makeshift shield. When the clanking stopped, she hesitantly lowered the shield, poking her head out to see if the coast was clear. The street was covered in scrap metal, and for the first time, Audrey realized how much of a pain this was going to be to clean up.

Audrey started making her way east towards Steve. A group of Chitauri approached, their weapons aimed at her. Audrey's heart raced. They were moving slowly; threatening. Suddenly, one of their weapons began to emit a high-pitched whine, meaning it was about to fire. Audrey lifted the makeshift shield up, and then hoping for the best, charged forward.

The blast missed her, going over her shoulder and hitting a building behind her. She threw a quick look over her shoulder, wincing as the fried bricks fell to the ground, but she didn't stop running. Audrey collided with the Chitauri full speed, the car door whacking it hard in the chest and sending it skidding along the sidewalk as she kept running. When it finally collapsed, Audrey stopped, kicking it in the head until it stopped moving.

The other Chitauri wasn't far behind. With all the strength she could muster, she hurled the door at the creature, sending it flying backwards into a car, where it proceeded to sink pathetically to the ground.

When she finally managed to reach Steve again, taking out a few more soldiers on the way, she had a split lip and her knee was hurting. But Audrey shoved the pain down, knowing that bigger things were at stake.

Steve and Natasha were at an intersection, and Natasha had come into possession of one of the Chitauri staffs and was using it to blast any aliens that came close to her. Steve was hurling his shield at the creatures, punching the ones he didn't hit and catching his shield after. Audrey stepped into the fight, pulling her batons from their sheaths.

A Chitauri neared her, and Audrey turned, aiming to kick it, but the alien grabbed her leg and twisted her, sending her crashing onto the concrete.  _Oh come on_. Her eyes narrowed, and she tried to push the creature off of her, but the angle made it nearly impossible to gain leverage.

 _Plan B, then,_ she decided. Audrey swung her fist, hitting the Chitauri in its head, and it veered to her left. She took the opportunity to slide her way out of its grip, until her foot was about lined up with its head and she had a good angle to kick it. Then, Audrey gritted her teeth and used her arms to brace herself, before sending her boot into the alien's face.

 _God_ , she thought.  _This is like E.T., except it isn't fun._ All the youthful misadventures and new friends were replaced by a god who was trying to enslave them.

Significantly less fun.

"Captain, none of this is gonna mean a damn thing if we don't close that portal," Natasha called out, guns still aimed and firing at the Chitauri.

Steve looked up at the sky. "Our biggest guns couldn't touch it."

Audrey grunted as she grabbed the shoulders of a Chitauri, tearing it off its cruiser and throwing it hard into a wall.

"Maybe it's not about the guns."

Audrey turned to Natasha and found the redhead observing a path of Chitauri on cruisers.

"If you wanna get up there, you'll need a ride."

Natasha smiled, a dangerous glint in her eye. "I have a ride." Looking back over at Steve, she added, "I could use a lift, though."

Steve looked at Natasha, at the cruisers, and then down at his shield, seeming to piece it together finally. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yeah," Natasha answered. "It's gonna be fun."

Steve made a dubious face that was almost imperceptible. Angling the shield precariously, he braced himself as Natasha took a few steps back. Then, the redhead took off, using a car hood as a step up to the shield, landing squarely on it, and allowing Steve to boost her into the sky.

Quite honestly, it looked like some sort of cheerleading maneuver. Audrey resisted the urge to point this out.

"There's a building on sixth going up in flames, civilians trapped inside. Can I get backup from anyone?"

With Natasha and Thor focused on the portal, the Hulk somewhere brutally savaging the Chitauri army, and Clint as their eyes above the ground, Audrey knew it was down to her and Steve. And while she was sure she'd be able to manage herself on the ground, she also knew that Steve was better at it. He had more experience in wars, on battlefields. Maybe not in wars where the enemies were from outer space, but in wars nonetheless.

"I'm there," Audrey announced into her comms. "But I'll need a ride."

Tony's response arrived quickly. "Coming in hot on your two o'clock, Carter. Be ready."

Before she could process what was happening, Tony had grabbed her by the shoulders and blasted off the ground. She was positive that he hadn't stopped once during the entire maneuver.

As they raced toward the inflamed building, Audrey struggled to keep her eyes open. The wind was hitting her furiously, whipping her hair around haphazardly and tangling it around her face. God. The blonde locks were incredibly dysfunctional when it came to situations like this.

"I need you to sweep the building for anyone trapped inside. I'll be helping civilians get on the ground and into the subway tunnels. It'll be quicker if we tag-team it. If I'm in the fire for too long, the suit is gonna start frying."

Oh, great. Because she was so much more durable than a full-body, iron suit.

Audrey shook the thought away. This wasn't about her. This was about doing the right thing. And right now? That meant marching into a burning building and hoping for the best.

"Got it," she told Tony.

As they closed in on the building, Tony aimed his hand at the wall, emitting a laser that cut through the bricks and the wood, providing an escape path for the top floors of the building. He landed his suit on the floor, and Audrey let go of him.

"Stay safe," he told her.

Audrey snorted. "You too, Stark."

She turned on her heel and took off into the building. Almost immediately, she ran into a group of people huddling in the corner of a room, the door shut.

"Hi," she shouted over the roaring flames and the chaos. The group looked up at her. Audrey lowered herself towards the floor, trying to avoid the smoke. "Are any of you injured? Or unable to walk?"

They shook their heads no.

"Okay. Together, we're all gonna crawl over to that hole in the wall, okay? And my friend is going to help you get back down on the ground and into the subway tunnels. Everything's gonna be okay. We just have to get over there." She pointed at the gaping hole.

Audrey placed herself between the flames and civilians as they crawled towards the doorway. The flames were almost unbearable, but she forced herself to focus, gritting her teeth and using her cape to protect herself as best she could. Tony was waiting by the hole in the wall, holding an unconscious man in his arms. The man from Audrey's group slung himself onto the armored man's back and the woman clutched Tony's right arm. Tony stepped off the platform, lowering them down onto the pavement and then guiding them to the subway.

At least if the building was on fire, the Chitauri probably wouldn't come near them. It wasn't a massive silver lining, but it was one less thing to worry about.

This process repeated for what felt like hours. The twenty story building's top five floors had been cleared by the time firetrucks arrived. Firemen began to attack the flames, and Audrey continued searching for survivors that she could lead to Tony. By the time that a good portion of the flames were extinguished, Audrey had cleared off everything above the tenth floor. The firemen had gotten the situation under control, so she was technically dismissed, but Audrey insisted on at least finishing the tenth floor.

With the fire's size shrinking, however, the Chitauri were less afraid of approaching. As Audrey was helping a woman crawl out of her office and towards a window, a loud  _thud_ caught her attention. She gestured for the woman to wait in the hallway, tearing off a piece of her cape and telling her to hold it over her mouth.

When she rounded the corner, she found herself face to face with another of the aliens. She landed a punch in its stomach, causing it to bowl over momentarily, but the creature quickly recovered, aiming its weapon at her face. She barely dodged it, the blast hitting the wall behind her, her heart rate picking up. At this point, her pulse was pumping so hard that she was surprised she couldn't hear it.

Audrey unsheathed and switched on both of her batons. In one quick maneuver, remembering Natasha's training, she bashed one into the back of the creature's leg, and the other into its neck. It collapsed onto its knees, giving her the opportunity to whack it solidly across the head.

Turning back to the woman she'd been guiding, Audrey waved her arms. "We're clear. Follow me."

The shattered window was frightening, but it was a way out. She helped the woman over towards it, lifting her up and settling her into Tony's arms, where he helped her down. Audrey smiled to herself a little, proud of the team. Of how they'd united against all odds and were now close to saving the world.

The victory was short lived, however, because a clawed hand grabbed her arm, tearing through the skin and her uniform and leaving her bleeding heavily.

Audrey spun around, shocked by how much that  _hurt._ The nerves in her arm were simultaneously screaming and going numb. She didn't have time to recover, because the alien lifted her up, and hurled her across the room at the floor-to-ceiling window. The wind was knocked out of her lungs as Audrey collided with it, shattering the glass. There was very little time to process the feeling of  _oh my god I'm about to fall ten stories to my death_.

With her hair whipping around her face, Audrey began shaking. Even as the ground was fast approaching, she felt like she'd been falling for hours. It was a slow death. All she felt was regret—that she hadn't ensured the Chitauri was dead, that she hadn't been able to do more, that she'd spent so much time waiting instead of acting. She wished she'd called Peggy back.

God, she wished she could hear her mother's voice one last time.

Audrey closed her eyes, shutting out the blue of the sky. And she waited.

And waited.

And wait— _ow._

Something collided with her.  _Hard._ When she opened her eyes, she found herself staring at Clint. He had her tucked under one of his arms, holding onto the loose end of a rappel cord that connected to an arrow.

"I'm not dying," she muttered.

Clint laughed. "Not yet." Audrey blinked for a minute. "You did come close though."

"Did I?"

"Very. Welcome to the team." Audrey cracked a smile that Clint returned. "I'm dropping you off down here with the Captain, okay?"

"Got it," she answered.

The cord's arc was fast approaching the ground, where Steve stood blocking Chitauri blasts with his shield, and Tony was blasting the aliens away. Audrey bent her knees, preparing for the landing. When the concrete was within reach, Clint released his grip on her. She dropped one knee to the ground, balancing herself with one hand on the concrete, and the other stretched out to keep her from falling over. She rose from the position slowly, and began making her way towards Steve and Tony.

By this point, the Chitauri were arriving full throttle. They came in swarms. As soon as one was knocked down, two more took its place. Audrey ignored her exhaustion, the ache in her muscles, the blood from her arm. There was only one thing on her mind: the fight ahead.

Following Steve's lead, she took off towards the aliens. Tony had flown off somewhere and disappeared, leaving only the two of them. Father and daughter. Partners.

Audrey took out one Chitauri after another, the fight eventually growing routine. They could be unpredictable at times, but they seemed limited to only a few moves. Things got more complicated when their guns were introduced, but Audrey adapted.

"Audrey!" Steve called out suddenly. She turned, and found the shield being tossed at her. Audrey caught it, trying to plant her feet in the ground to avoid the impact pushing her backwards. The Chitauri soldier she was fighting had poised its staff to stab her, and she lifted up the shield to block its attack.

"Oh my god," she squeaked.

She was holding the shield. Her dad's shield. Her dad's  _legacy._

Audrey tried to remain calm, trying not to let the pressure of the situation get to her. The shield was well balanced in her arms, and she used it to deflect a few more of the Chitauri's attacks before throwing it as hard as she could at the alien. It knocked it back onto the ground, killing it, before bouncing back into Steve's hand.

Before she could say anything, or turn back around and resume fighting, something collided with her stomach. The blast from the Chitauri weapon knocked Audrey off her feet and sent her flying backwards, her head colliding with the sidewalk.

She did her best to maintain her grip on consciousness, but she couldn't. Audrey let her eyes slip shut, and everything went black.

 **a/n:** leave a review if you feel so inclined!  thank you for the feedback on the last chapter everyone 

_Chapter Sixteen: Blood and Water_

It was so quiet, but the word almost knocked him over.   _Dad.  Dad. Dad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a review if you feel so inclined! thank you for the feedback on the last chapter everyone 
> 
> Chapter Sixteen: Blood and Water
> 
> It was so quiet, but the word almost knocked him over. Dad. Dad. Dad.


	16. Blood and Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Audrey and Tony both come within an inch of their lives. Audrey calls Steve "dad." It's a lot.

" _Someone could break your neck, coming up behind you, always coming and you'd never have a clue." -_ Grimes

Steve was terrified.

A few feet away from him, Audrey was lying unconscious on the sidewalk. He couldn't get to her, though, because of the onslaught of Chitauri. As soon as he got a break from the aliens' assaults, he lifted a hand to his comms. "Audrey's down. We need a medic here, as soon as possible."

 _To hell with it._ Steve knocked a few more Chitauri out of the way, before running over to Audrey's side. He couldn't tell if she was breathing or not. If she was, it was too faint to be anything sustainable.

"Does anyone copy?" Steve repeated, trying to keep the panic from edging into his voice. "Audrey is  _down."_

"I copy," Tony answered. His voice was grave. "What do you mean by down?"

Before answering, Steve threw his elbow back into a Chitauri approaching him from behind. He picked up the soldier, and threw it hard at another swarm of incoming Chitauri, disorienting them. Then, he removed one of his gloves and pressed his fingers to Audrey's neck, searching for a pulse.

"Rogers?" Tony repeated.

Steve felt the slightest pulse beating through Audrey's veins, and relief came over him in waves. He hadn't felt relief this strong since he'd rescued Bucky back in '43. It didn't seem that long ago. It was hard to believe that almost a century had passed since then.

"She's got a pulse," he reported. "It's faint, but it's there."

"What happened?" Tony asked. There was a crash within his audio, and Steve flinched, his heightened hearing making the noise all the more loud.

"One of the Chitauri blasts hit her." He glanced over his shoulder, worried. "I don't know how long I can ward them off. Can I get backup down here?"

"On my way." For once, there was no humor laced in his voice; no irony, no sarcasm. He was all seriousness. Steve found it almost… unnerving.

He glanced down at Audrey. Steve knew that Peggy would kill him if Audrey died on his watch. After everything he'd missed—her  _birth,_ all of her firsts, her teenage rebellion, her first day at S.H.I.E.L.D.—he'd missed almost all of it, and now she was slipping through his fingers. Fate couldn't be this cruel, could it? To take everything from him, give him a daughter, and then take that from him, too?

With her blue eyes closed, he saw how much she resembled Peggy. She was every bit her mother's child. But as he looked closer, he saw how much she had in common with  _him._ The blonde hair, the nose. She looked exactly like his mother had, when he was just a boy and Sarah was still young. And just as she was every bit Peggy's daughter, she also also every bit his.

For the first time, Steve actually admitted to himself:  _this is my daughter._ He'd missed a hell of a lot. But he'd woken up after the crash, and maybe that wasn't such a bad thing after all. Maybe he hadn't lost everything.

Assuming, of course, they would make this out alive. Which he was beginning to doubt as the minutes ticked on.

Audrey stirred.

"Sweetheart?" Steve prompted, holding his breath for fear that he'd imagined her movement, and that she was still close to slipping away from him.

"On your six," Tony announced through the comms. Steve switched the audio on his off, too worried about his daughter to think about the logistics of an alien invasion. Tony landed a few feet away, and quickly got to work obliterating every Chitauri that came too close.

"Dad?" Audrey mumbled.

It was so quiet, but the word almost knocked him over.  _Dad. Dad. Dad._ As much as he'd run the facts through his head since waking up, he'd never been called  _dad_ by her. It definitely wasn't her first time saying it, but it was his first time hearing it.

Steve felt a wave of something bittersweet hit him. If he'd found a safe landing place, like Peggy had suggested, or if he'd been able to get on the plane faster, or get Red Skull off earlier, maybe this wouldn't be the first time. Maybe he would've gone back to America with Peggy and married her and they would've gone dancing. And he would've stepped on her toes, of course, and they would've found out about the baby together. He'd have painted a nursery, and the two would've gone shopping for cribs and baby blankets. They could've been peaceful, and happy. He could've been there as she grew up—for her first words, her first steps, her first day of school. But he'd missed it. Steve wondered if he would've tried to save himself had he known about the baby. Honestly, he wasn't sure.

But he couldn't dwell on hypotheticals. The fact was that he'd crashed the plane, and he'd survived, and now he was in the twenty-first century fighting off an alien invasion, and his daughter was by his side.

"It's me," he told her. "It's… I've got you. We're trying to get a medic here for you."

"I'm fine," Audrey replied. Her eyes were open now, squinting as she looked up at him. "There's no time for a medic. I just need a second."

The entire front of her uniform had been scorched by the blast. Audrey breathed sharply and rapidly, sucking in oxygen like she was starving.

A hissing sound from behind him alerted him of the presence of a Chitauri. Steve lifted up his shield, wordlessly hurling it at the alien without so much as glancing over his shoulder. It ricocheted off the creature's body and landed in his hand, and he set it back down next to him.

From her spot on the ground, Audrey gave him a wry smile. "Looking a little worried there, Cap."

Worried was an understatement. But now wasn't the time to argue about semantics. He needed to make sure she was safe, and then focus on making sure the world was safe.

"I might not be as beefy, but I'm still a super soldier," she reminded him.

"Do you need help getting up?"

Audrey brushed him off, easing herself into a sitting position, and, grabbing Steve's hand, onto her feet. She took a few limping steps before giving him a small smile. "Let's go punch some aliens back into space."

* * *

"I've cleared the balcony for Foster," Natasha reported into the comms feed. Audrey was still dizzied by the hit, and she knew that at least three of her ribs were broken, but the Avengers were not going down yet. Not until they'd given the fight everything they had. "Does anybody copy? Now's the chance. Selvig's unconscious and Loki is occupied."

"Copy that," Audrey answered. She turned to Steve. "I'll get my team on Foster right now." She switched her comms channel to Caroline. "Carmichael, do you copy? We've got Stark's balcony cleared for Doctor Foster. We need to get her here as soon as possible."

"I copy, Aud. We've got a chopper ready to go."

"Nonsense!" interrupted a third voice. Thor. Audrey wanted to question how he'd managed to intercept the channel, but didn't have the mental energy to try and understand the ins and outs of godhood at the moment. Maybe another time. "I will accompany the Lady Jane myself."

"Who's this guy?" Caroline asked, unenthused.

"That's Thor," Audrey answered.

"How does he plan on transporting Foster?"

Audrey opened her mouth to reply, but when she saw Thor flying across the horizon, hammer in hand, she cut herself off. "Like that."

"Oh," Caroline said. "I see."

"I'll explain later," Audrey promised.

Switching her comms back to the Avengers channel, Audrey relayed the information. "Thor's got Foster and he's heading to the Tower. Romanoff, you're going to need to cover her." Audrey's inner handler was emerging, as she began to understand the plan. "She's going to need to discuss details with Selvig before anything can be done, but she's got the majority of a plan laid out."

Steve gave her a nod, impressed, and switched his comms back on. Audrey, pleased with herself, continued.

"What's Banner's status?"

"Uh…" Natasha said. "He's currently tossing Loki around Stark's living room like a ragdoll."

"I'm gonna have to renovate the whole building, huh?" Tony asked.

"Not now," Audrey chided him.

Steve jumped in. "With Loki taken care of and the balcony protected, we'll need Stark, Audrey, and I on the ground. Barton too."

"I've got a solid, uh,  _one_ arrow left," Barton announced.

Audrey and Steve shared a look. "The military is starting to arrive," Audrey said. "If you can get bullets from them to load your guns, that's better than nothing."

"Copy," Barton answered.

"This is the last stand," Steve reminded them. "It's now or never."

There was something devastating about this moment. Audrey didn't know what was going to happen next, but she prayed she would come out of it alive. If they didn't succeed, humanity would fall to its knees before a selfish and cruel god. They were so much better than that.

If Audrey was going down, she was going down swinging.

She and Steve launched their attacks. She was angry-angry about how many times she'd come too close to death today, angry that Loki had walked onto Earth and assumed he owned the place-and all of that energy poured out of her, in every swing of her fists and every kick she landed. As Steve charged forward, using blunt force to destroy as many of the Chitauri as he could, Audrey worked on dodging attacks and carefully aiming her batons to hit the aliens in their weak spots.

This city was her home. It was her father's home and Tony's home. This planet was hers. These people were her people. She would not surrender. Every life lost today had been lost to greed and to terror. Audrey was determined to stop the number of lives lost from growing.

As she mercilessly tore through the swarms of Chitauri, Audrey got faster. The pain in her ribcage began to fade, and the pumping of her heart stemmed less from fear, and more from power.

If aliens came too close to her, Steve tossed her the shield. Audrey would catch it, block a hit, and throw it back. They'd grown accustomed to the language of each other's fighting. Before she knew it, Audrey was able to predict Steve's moves and he was able to predict hers. She supposed that it had a lot to do with the fact that they'd been trained by the same woman.

"I can close the portal," Natasha's voice cut through their sparring, her urgency apparent. "Foster and Selvig have a plan. I repeat. I can close the portal."

Audrey turned to Steve, who looked exhausted. It occurred to her, then, how fast this had all happened for him-how he'd come out of one war and entered directly into the next. She herself was tired, and hoping the fight would end soon. She nodded at the Captain.

"Do it," Steve commanded. Audrey looked up at Stark Tower, at the hole in the sky, at the Tesseract radiating impenetrable amounts of energy. But before she could become too invested in the idea that the fight was over, Tony's voice interrupted.

" _No, wait!"_

Tony's frantic cry sent a wave of worry into Audrey's chest. Now was  _not_ the time for him to be contrary, but he knew that. Which meant something was actually going on.

"Stark, these things are still coming," Steve argued.

"I got a nuke coming in, it's gonna blow in less than a minute. And I know just where to put it."

The only organization that Audrey knew to be as ruthless as to send a nuclear bomb into a highly populated city was the World Security Council. They were willing to wipe an entire city off the map to save the world. Audrey understood it. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. But they were so close to getting out of this. They were minutes away from stopping Loki.

But as Audrey looked up at the hole in the sky and considered, she realized that there was no way for Tony to get the nuke into the portal without going through it himself.

"Stark, you know that's a one way trip," Steve spoke up solemnly.

 _Oh my god._ Audrey's breath caught in her throat. Tony was going to sacrifice himself for them, for the world. She tried to think of another way out. Any way out, but she knew that there was none. If the nuke wasn't sent through, millions of people would die. But if it was, she would lose one of her best friends, someone who was practically her brother.

Her eyes began to well up. Tony had grown up with her. She'd been there when he'd built his first inventions, for almost every Christmas, for every one of his birthdays. Tony had always wanted to play superheroes when they were kids, and pretend to be Batman while Audrey pretended to be Superman. That same kid, who'd launched himself off of arm chairs and knocked over lamps constantly, was about to die to save the world. Audrey was paralyzed with grief.

As she watched Tony's red suit fly higher and higher into the sky, she held her breath. He skated off the side of Stark Tower, barely pulling the bomb away before it ran through the building. Audrey couldn't remember when she fell to the ground. All she could remember was that one moment, Tony was there, and the next, he wasn't, swallowed up into the portal, in another world

" _No_ ," she whispered. The word slipped out before she could stop it.

And then—

Silence.

Audrey couldn't bear it. She slammed her eyes shut, ignoring the scraping of the gravel into her knees. Even as the Chitauri fell, and the Leviathans crashed, she couldn't feel like they'd won. Not yet. Not when Tony had died for it.

"Close it," came Steve's voice. Audrey's eyes flew up towards the portal, which was now radiating blue like it had veins. Tony was still trapped inside. But the explosion would come back and possibly damage the portal to the point where it could never be closed. Audrey watched, terrified, as the sky sewed itself back together, and then closed up blue as ever, as if nothing had happened.

But there was something else—something falling. She held her breath. They couldn't have gotten that lucky. Could they?

But as the figure neared the ground, Audrey recognized its red and gold body. It  _was_ Tony. He was in free-fall, gaining momentum as he hurtled towards the ground. Just as quickly as her hopes were raised, they were dashed again, as Audrey realized that he'd certainly die on impact. To her left, Thor was winding up his hammer, prepared to try and save him. Before he could take off, though, the Hulk flew across Audrey's peripheral, grabbing Tony like a doll before scraping down the edge of a nearby building, rocketing onto the street, and sliding a couple dozen feet across the concrete while cradling Tony in his arms.

What the  _hell._

Audrey was exhausted. She didn't want to get her hopes up again, but she stumbled over to where the Hulk was. The beast rolled over, leaving Tony splayed on his back on the concrete.

Thor and Steve were hot on her heels.

"Is he breathing?" Steve asked.

Thor ripped the faceplate off of the suit, tossing it aside haphazardly. Tears were streaming down Audrey's face at this point. Tony wasn't moving. The light in his arc reactor had gone out. As the dust settled around them, the battle over, Audrey started to accept that he was gone. She'd lost Tony, but the world had been saved. Loki had been defeated. They'd won the war. She wouldn't call it entirely pyrrhic.

Her thoughts were interrupted when the Hulk emitted an impossibly loud roar. Tony gasped, startled awake by the sound. Audrey let out a sob of relief.

"Oh thank  _God_ ," she cried. Her nose was running and she was a mess and battered and bruised, but she didn't care. Tony was alive.  _They_ were alive. They'd saved the freaking world.

"What the hell?" Tony gasped. "What just happened? Please tell me that nobody kissed me."

Audrey rolled her eyes, smiling in spite of the tears. She wanted to sock Tony in the shoulder for that, but she was too happy to hear him being snarky again.

"Jesus, Aud, get it together. No need to be sappy." Tony gave her a teasing smile.

"You idiot, you almost  _died_."

"Haven't we all?" Tony shot back.

Audrey couldn't argue with that. A beat passed.

"We won," Steve said finally.

Audrey beamed at her dad. "We did. We won. We stopped an alien invasion."

" Alright. Hey. Alright. Good job, guys!" Tony cheered. He lifted his head up, and then winced, letting it fall back onto the street. "Let's just not come in tomorrow. Let's just take a day. Have you ever tried shawarma? There's a shawarma joint about two blocks from here. I don't know what it is, but I wanna try it."

"We're not finished yet," Thor said, cutting the celebration short. Audrey followed his gaze to the top of Stark Tower.  _Loki._ Although they'd defeated his army, they still had yet to reckon with the man himself.

" _Fine_ ," Tony agreed, rolling his eyes. "But shawarma after."

* * *

By the time they'd hiked the stairs to reach Tony's penthouse, Audrey's legs had gone completely numb. She was ready to sleep for about ten years, or maybe eat for the next few days and then sleep. And her throat was dry. She would give anything for some water right now. Anything.

Looking around, Audrey observed all the cuts and bruises the team had sustained. Her head was still throbbing, likely concussed. She'd been crying moments earlier. Her knees were scraped and her arm was bleeding. And her entire torso was sore from the Chitauri blast. She tried to recall what had happened with very little success. She remembered being knocked onto the floor. Steve called for a medic. She'd assured him she was okay.  _Dad, I'm fine._

Oh  _shit._

She'd called him dad.

Audrey sent a panicked look towards Steve, who was entirely focused on Loki. Maybe he hadn't noticed that she'd said it? Maybe she'd said something else. Like,  _Sad, I'm fine._ Wait. That was more worrisome.

The blonde thought for a moment. Of course he'd noticed. Steve Rogers wasn't an idiot. He was, however, her father. Maybe it was time they both started admitting it.

Loki was crawling across the floor, badly bruised and—Audrey hoped—very humiliated. When he turned around, they were all armed in the event that he tried to strike them again. Thor brandished his hammer, Natasha held up the scepter, Clint had nocked his last arrow. Steve held up his shield and Audrey had a baton in each hand. Behind her, the Hulk had his hands clenched into fists. If Loki tried to make a move, he wasn't going to get very far.

The God of Mischief rolled over, surveyed the group, and then settled into a look of resignation. "If it's all the same to you, I'll take that drink now."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that closes out the battle of new york for us folks! moving on we'll have recovery, bonding, and some angst. it's gonna be fun! shoutout to my beta CatrinaSL and also to Quinn for looking over this chapter for me. also this chapter is dedicated to my bff meera for reading this lmao i love you.
> 
> i hope everyone enjoyed and please leave a review on the way out if you can 
> 
>  
> 
>  **Chapter Seventeen:** Moving On
> 
> Still, they couldn't go back. That much was certain. They were here, in a shawarma joint with two gods, two assassins, and two geniuses. They had lost a hell of a lot. But they had each other now. And that gave them a chance. Audrey didn't want to throw that chance away.


	17. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shawarma, break-ups, and an Aud-squad sleepover.

**** “ _ We can never go back, that much is certain.”  _ -Daphne du Maurier

All things considered, Audrey wasn’t a huge fan of shawarma.  

But considering that the last thing she’d eaten was a Clif bar, and between now and then she’d fallen out of a building, gotten shot by an alien, almost lost one of her closest friends, broken a couple ribs, and gotten attacked by an alien’s claws, she wasn’t really in a place to be picky.  

The seven of them sat around the table.  She was situated between Bruce and Steve.  Across from her, Clint had his leg on Nat’s lap.  Audrey raised an eyebrow at that, but was too tired to think about it too hard.  They sat in silence, stuffing themselves with food, while Loki lay in the corner, gagged and with Mjolnir on his chest pinning him down.  She glanced at Bruce every so often, wondering if he was tired the same way the rest of them were. She wondered how present he’d been during the fight.  She wondered if he knew how grateful she was. 

Just in case he didn’t, she leaned over and told him.  

“Thank you,” she said quietly.  

Bruce looked up from his plate at her.  “What?” 

Audrey, flustered, began to repeat herself.  “Oh—I, I said thank—”

“No, sorry, I heard you,” Bruce added hastily, “Sorry, I just wondered what you meant… for.”  

The blonde furrowed her brow.  “For everything. For working on finding the cube, and for showing up even when you didn’t have to.  We couldn’t have done it without you. I’m glad you’re here.” 

Bruce looked taken aback.  “Oh,” he said. “It wasn’t a big—um…” He trailed off.  

Audrey wanted to tell him that it was a big deal.  To her. To the team. To the planet. But she could tell that Bruce was like her in that way—he didn’t want the attention.  It had just kind of happened. She put her hand over his briefly and squeezed it, too exhausted to worry about whether it was weird or not.  If it was, she could deal with the fallout after she’d slept. 

“Thank you,” she repeated, and then dropped her hand.  “How are you feeling?” 

Bruce swallowed, and then cleared his throat loudly.  “I, uh, could be better. But I could also be dead.” 

Well.  That was blunt.  

The blonde observed Bruce.  His hair was mussed and fluffy.  She kinda wanted to touch it. Like the rest of the team, he was covered in dirt and gravel.  His shirt was clean, though. After the Hulk had shrunk back down into Bruce, Audrey had dashed into the nearest clothing store and grabbed him a tee shirt.  Ironically, the words on the front proclaimed,  _ I Believe in Aliens.   _

“Are you…” Audrey winced, trying to figure out how to phrase her question.  “Do you get hurt when the other guy is fighting?” 

Bruce looked at her for a moment, and then down at his plate.  “I don’t—not like you do.” He sighed. “It’s more like my entire body is bruised, but I can’t see it.  It hurts but I’m not injured.” 

Audrey nodded.  “What do you do to, um, recover?”  

He took a moment to consider.  “Usually I hole away for a few days and avoid everything.  Work. Try and separate myself from the crushing guilt of everything I’ve done.”  Bruce winced, as it he hadn’t meant to say that last part. “I also can’t see anything,” he added.  “I lost my glasses.”

“I’m sure S.H.I.E.L.D. would be willing to pay for new ones,” Audrey answered.  “And you don’t have any reason to be guilty. You helped save the world.” 

Bruce shot a pointed look out the window, where buildings were crumbling, shards of glass were covering the street, and first responders were helping people out of the tunnels.  He shrugged. “I destroyed a lot of it too.” 

Audrey thought of the window she’d been thrown out of, the car door she’d ripped off, the blasts that had missed her and hit buildings behind her.  “It was more of a team effort.” She winced. “Principle of double effect?” 

“I almost killed the people on my side,” he pointed out.  “Including you.” 

“That wasn’t you.  That was Loki, getting into your head.  Into all of our heads.” When Bruce said nothing, Audrey asked him, “Where are you gonna go from here?”  

He hesitated.  “I don’t know. I don’t know if people are going to want my help after they’ve seen me like that.”  

“Maybe you can help them in a different way.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Just—maybe you can stick around.  You could work on research here, and maybe the Hulk could… act to help people.” 

“He’s not that kind of guy.” 

“Of course he is,” Audrey argued, brow furrowing.  “He saved the world. I’m gonna get you to believe that.”  Bruce opened his mouth to argue but Audrey added quickly, “Nothing is all good or all evil.  It depends on how you use it.” She smiled gently at Bruce. “I’d at least consider it, yeah?” 

He was reluctant, but he nodded.  “Okay.”

“Good.” 

The table was quiet for a minute, the only conversation was between Natasha and Clint, who were whispering back and forth inaudibly.  Audrey turned to Steve. “I know this was a rude awakening,” she blurted out. 

Steve raised an eyebrow.  “I wouldn’t say rude. Eventful, maybe.”  

Audrey shrugged.  “It was pretty rude.  The second you came back, some guy in a dumb hat tried to take the planet over.”  

Her dad cracked a small smile.  “It’s not always like this though?” 

“No,” she assured him.  “Before this, my whole life was paperwork.”  

“I got offered a job as an office clerk during the war,” Steve recalled.  “I didn’t take it. I wanted to fight. I hated paperwork. Peggy—” He cleared his throat.  “Um, your mother was always good at that. She was a good agent and she managed to be very organized.  She started off in the offices.” 

“Decoding,” Audrey said with a nod.  

Steve gave her a fond smile.  “She’s smart. She’s always been smart.  And she raised you to be smart, too.” He took a sip of water from his glass, before offering a sad smile.  “I’m sorry I missed it.” 

Audrey wished he’d been there for it too.  She wished that someone had been able to help her understand the serum in her bloodstream.  Howard was always there for her, and Peggy too. But it wasn’t the same as someone who had lived with it the same way she had.  

Still, they couldn’t go back.  That much was certain. They were here, in a shawarma joint with two gods, two assassins, and two geniuses.  They had lost a hell of a lot. But they had each other now. And that gave them a chance. Audrey didn’t want to throw that chance away.  

“You’re here now,” she told him.  “That’s more than I ever thought I would get.” 

“This is all more than I thought  _ I’d  _ ever get,” Steve said quietly.  “I didn’t think I’d get this many chances.  I got a shot at fighting in the war, and then a second chance at life.”  Then, after a moment, he added, “The chance to be a father. And spend time with you.  You’re—you’re my daughter. I want to get to know you.” 

Audrey’s heart thudded in her chest, and she looked up at him.  Steve was watching her carefully, waiting for her reaction. “I’d like that,” she said.  “I mean, I’m like… I’m not really a kid, anymore, but. Still. I’d like that.” 

Before she could say anything else, a loud siren cut through their conversation.  The Avengers watched as an ambulance pulled up outside, screeching to a halt outside the restaurant.  Erin stepped out of the car and strolled through the open door. Behind her, EMTs rushed out of the ambulance with various medical equipment.  Erin offered the group at the table a raised eyebrow. 

“Thought you guys might need some patching up.”

* * *

 

After shawarma, Audrey went with Steve back to his apartment.  Brooklyn wasn’t in awful shape after everything, so at least he had somewhere to stay that night.  She offered to camp out on the couch, but he assured her that he was fine on his own. 

“You can text me when you wake up,” Audrey told him.  “We can get breakfast, maybe. After many,  _ many  _ hours of sleep.”  

“That sounds good,” he said.  

It hadn’t been that long—less than a few days since that awkward embrace in the doorway.  But they’d come a long way. Audrey gave him a hug before she left. He returned the embrace, and then they parted ways.  

* * *

That night found Audrey, Lindsey, and Claudia at Caroline’s apartment, since it was the one least damaged by the battle.  It hadn’t slipped Audrey’s mind that there was a hell of a lot of cleaning up to be done, but she let the thoughts go for one night.  

Audrey indulged herself in a long shower, discarding her uniform on the floor and instead dressing in borrowed sweatpants and one of Molly’s tee shirts.  Now she was hungry again, even thought it was only a few hours later. Molly proved to be an excellent cook, serving an extraordinarily large dish of lasagna.  The lasagna was delicious, and Audrey probably took half of it, leaving the other four to split the rest. The cookies were amazing too. Audrey swore she’d never had anything better in her life.  

Around Molly, Caroline was surprisingly relaxed.  She joked around and held her hand at the table. They were polar opposites.  While Molly was a photographer and was warm and bubbly, Caroline glared daggers at anyone who looked at her the wrong way and had a body count.  They seemed to have found an in-between somewhere, though, because their wedding was set for the following spring. 

After they ate, Claudia passed out across the couch.  Audrey lay a blanket across her body before putting sheets on the air mattress.  She and Lindsey collapsed on it, Audrey almost asleep already. 

“Damn,” Lindsey remarked after a moment.  “We saved the world.” 

Audrey yawned and smiled.  “Yeah,” she agreed. “We did.”

* * *

 

Audrey slept in the next morning.  Actually, by the time she woke up, it was past noon.  

Lindsey was already awake, sitting at the dining room table with Molly.  Claudia was on her phone, asking for help with a crossword puzzle. 

“What’s an eight letter word for alien?” she asked.  

Audrey flopped over on the air mattress. “Chitauri,” she mumbled.  

“Ohhhh,” Claudia responded.  “Thanks.” 

Audrey heard her set the phone on the coffee table, before coming towards her.  The blonde didn’t move. Claudia kneeled down by her and poked Audrey’s forehead until she opened her eyes.  

“Good morning,” said Claudia.  

“Good morning,” replied Audrey.  

“Did you sleep well?”  

“I did.”  Audrey wasn’t lying.  The rest had been dreamless, but long and heavy.  She felt like her body was healing already. The stitches that Erin had sewn into her arm would probably need to be taken out soon, her torso wasn’t as tender as it had been the night before, and her lip had healed.  

“The sleeping beauty awakens,” Caroline remarked, strolling into the room.  She gave Molly a kiss on the cheek as she moved towards the kitchen in search of food.   

“You’re in a good mood,” Audrey remarked warily.  

Caroline scoffed.  “I’m  _ always  _ in a good mood.” 

That was a lie if Audrey had ever heard one.  But she wasn’t up to start an argument right now, not in the aftermath of such a gigantic victory.  

“What time is it?” Audrey asked.  

“Quarter past noon,” Claudia replied.  

That meant she’d slept for fifteen hours.  Audrey usually averaged five or six hours of sleep, but after fifteen she felt great _.  God _ , she thought.   _ Why don’t I do this more often?   _

Right.  Her job.  

She fumbled around until she’d found her phone, where a series of texts were waiting for her.  From Tony, Fury’s secure number, Peggy, Laura, Michael, Steve, and—

Josh.  

Shit.  

She had a lot of explaining to do.  

Audrey read Tony’s message first.  It was written to her and four other people, the only number she recognized being Steve’s.  It was a link to an article headlining,  _ “MAN IN PAJAMAS HELPS IRON MAN SAVE NEW YORK!”  _ featuring a picture of Steve underneath it.  Audrey rolled her eyes at Tony, knowing that Steve would have no idea what this message meant, who it was from, or how to react to it.  Her phone buzzed in her hand again. 

**unknown number: How did you get this number, Tony?**

**Tony: remember that time I hacked into shield’s database**

**Tony: and then we all got mad at each other and the helicarrier almost fell out of the sky**

**unknown number: I do**

**Tony: well some of the information I managed to recover included cell phone numbers**

**Tony: I thought we could have a team group chat**

**unknown number: This is one of your bad ideas**

**Tony: you know for a fact that it is not, romanoff**

Huh.  Interesting.  Audrey took this moment to enter Natasha in her phone properly.  

**Tony: does anyone know if Thor has a phone**

**Natasha: no**

**Tony: no he doesn’t or no you don’t know?**

No response.  Audrey rolled her eyes, and then swiped out of the chat.  Her phone continued to buzz as she opened up her other messages, but she ignored it in favor of checking the texts from her siblings and Peggy.  Once she’d assured them that she was alive, and that she would call them as soon as she could, she checked the message from Steve. 

**Steve: Dear Audrey, in the chaos of the battle I forgot the things you taught me about texting properly.  I hope this message isn’t too informal. Would you like to get a late lunch this afternoon at around 3:30?  I don’t know of any places to go but maybe you might. Best, Steve (Dad)**

Audrey smiled to herself as she read through Steve’s message.  It reminded her of everything they hadn’t been able to get through because of the aliens, and she opened up her notes app to jot down a few things she wanted to tell him about.   _Best food, IKEA,_ _explain_ _Jarvis!_  When she was satisfied with the reminders, she went to text him back.  

**Audrey: I’d love to get food.  There’s a diner not far from my apartment that serves breakfast all day long.  Would you like to meet at my apartment at four?**

A moment passed.  

**Steve: Dear Audrey, four o’clock sounds perfect.**

Audrey reopened Tony’s group chat and found 27 unread messages.  Several were from Tony badgering Natasha, one just read  **my favorite pizza place was destroyed, anyone know where else is good?** which Audrey assumed, with almost complete certainty, to be from Clint.  

Her phone buzzed as another message from Steve arrived in the chat.   **Good afternoon, I hope everyone is well.  I don’t know who any of these messages are from except for Tony and Natasha.  I’m also a bit confused about the message Tony sent us. What is . com? Also, why is it written in code?  Thanks everyone, Capn. Steve Rogers**

Group chats.  And links. Those were other things that she should probably take the time to explain.  Audrey hesitated as she looked at the unread message alert next to Josh’s name. She finally forced herself to tap on it, to find three brief messages.  

**Josh: What the hell is going on?  Where did you go?**

**Josh: Is that you on the news?  I think we need to talk.**

**Josh: I don’t think this is working.**

Audrey’s heart sank at the last message.  She’d known it was coming, yeah, but she hadn’t wanted it to happen like this.  Not through news footage of an alien invasion. God. Whoever said breaking up through text was the worst way to do it had now been proven wrong.  She would do them one better: never actually breaking up, and just revealing your true identity on TV in the middle of a war, then leaving them to figure it out for themselves.  

She winced as she attempted to write out a reply.   **I’m sorry, I**  No.  No no no.  An apology wouldn’t be enough to fix this.  At this point, honestly, Audrey would be surprised if anything could.  She’d lied to him about her job, her identity, her age. And she’d known it wouldn’t last.  She’d taken precautions about her emotional investment in it. Maybe it was for the best. 

**Audrey: I understand.  Do you want to meet at my apartment in a half hour?  Just to talk about it.**

He read the message almost immediately, and replied soon after.  

**Josh: Ok.**

Audrey hauled herself out of bed, grunting as she went.  As much as her body had healed, it was still sore. She needed to stretch.  Badly. 

“Do you want some food?” Molly asked, as Audrey limped over to the table.  “We have coffee, too.” 

“Yes to the coffee.  And thank you for the food offer too, but I have to meet someone really quickly and then I’m gonna grab something to eat with Steve.”  

Molly began preparing a travel mug for her.  “Cream and sugar?” she asked. 

Audrey nodded.  “Yes, please.” 

Caroline pointed to a duffle bag by the front door.  “I got some clothes from your apartment.” 

Wait, what?  Audrey’s eyes narrowed.  “You don’t have a key.” 

“Didn’t need one.  Your locks should be changed, by the way.  Now that you’re a superhero and all.” 

“I am  _ not _ ,” Audrey protested, taking the mug that Molly was offering, and chugging the coffee.  It was smooth against the back of her throat, and sweet. She missed the familiar taste.  And Molly’s coffee was  _ good _ .  Way better than the stuff Audrey’s machine generated, or the stuff in the break room at S.H.I.E.L.D., which always managed to be either  _ way  _ too hot to drink or lukewarm.  

Claudia tugged on the end of Audrey’s hair as she strolled by.  “You are 100%, without a doubt a superhero.” The brunette smiled to herself, pleased, as she sat down at the table and took a piece of bacon off of the plate in the middle.  She waved it at Audrey. “You wore a cape and everything.” 

“I also destroyed someone’s car.  And almost died a bunch of times.”  

Lindsey scoffed.  “Did someone tell you that saving the world was a safe career choice?  Because they lied to you. You’re just getting started.” 

Audrey hadn’t thought about the future too much.  Would the Avengers be a  _ thing  _ now?  The group chat seemed to say so, but none of them had been briefed or debriefed.  And if all went well, there wouldn’t be another world-ending incident any time soon.  But something in Audrey’s mind told her that the world had changed. Whatever kind of normalcy they’d had a week ago had been completely blown out of the water.  There weren’t any more shadows to hide in. 

The idea was terrifying.  She was completely exposed.  But she was relieved, too. Lying had made her miserable.  She didn’t want to do it now if she didn’t have to. 

“Thank you,” Audrey said to Lindsey, and to Claudia.  “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” 

“I don’t know either,” Lindsey returned, winking.  Audrey smiled to herself. In that moment, she felt nothing but love. 

* * *

After she’d changed into the clothes from Caroline, Audrey hailed a taxi and gave the driver the address for her apartment.  She didn’t want to bother with the subway today—not when there was the chance people could recognize her. 

Ten minutes into the ride, though, Audrey realized that this plan wasn’t flawless either.  They’d made little progress, due to the blocked streets and the ruined pavement. The taxi driver wasn’t apt to going too quickly either.  Audrey wanted to be frustrated, but couldn’t bring herself to it. If he drove at the speed limit, his tires would undoubtedly be flat within minutes.  So she sat through the wait. 

She arrived at her building ten minutes past when she’d told Josh to meet her.  He was waiting outside her apartment, hands in his pockets. 

“Hi,” she said quietly.  

Josh remained indifferent.  “Hey.” 

Audrey unlocked the apartment and pushed the door open, waiting for him to sit before she did.  He took the armchair. She sat in the middle of the couch. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” she started.  “I just. Couldn’t. My job kept me from doing it.”  

“And what is your job, exactly?” he sneered.  Audrey chewed the inside of her lip, reminding herself that he had the right to be angry.  

“I’m a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent,” she said.  “I manage a tactician team.” 

Josh looked at her, disbelieving.  “Is that how you explain what the hell happened yesterday?  The fighting aliens?” 

“No—I mean, not really.  Kinda.” She winced. “My dad is Captain America.” 

“He’s been dead for seventy years.”  

“Well… we thought he was.  He’s not. I can’t really tell you everything about that, but.  He’s not.” 

“You’re not seventy years old.”  

Audrey winced.  “That’s… true. I’m actually, uh, sixty-four.”  

Josh blinked at her for a moment.  Then he stood up and began pacing behind the armchair.  “You told me you were twenty-one. You  _ look _ twenty-one.”  

“I know.  It has to do with the, um, the Captain America thing.”  

“I don’t fucking believe this.” 

Audrey flinched, her shoulders hunching as she looked down at her hands.  She picked at a hangnail on her left thumb. “I’m not lying,” she said quietly.  “I swear I’m not lying.” 

When she looked up, Josh was red in the face.  “That’s really fucking messed up. You lied to me about  _ everything.”  _

“I didn’t want—”

“You’re really fucking messed up.  I can’t believe you,” Josh said. His words were a punch to Audrey’s gut.  

“I’m sorry.” 

“I don’t ever want to see you again.  I—Jesus Christ, I can’t even look at you.”  Josh threw the door open, shot Audrey a last look of disgust, and then slammed it behind him.  

Soon after, her neighbor started banging on the wall, yelling at her to be quiet.  Audrey winced.

Audrey sat for a minute, her eyes watering, unsure what to do.  Josh had been angry, yeah, but there had been truth to his words.  She’d messed up. And maybe he was right about the other thing too—maybe  _ she  _ was messed up.  She was on the verge of tears but part of her began to wonder if she deserved to cry.  She had been the one to lie, to mess everything up, to make him angry. 

She swiped furiously at her eyes.  She was wearing the glasses again, but she didn’t know why.   _ No more disguises _ .  Audrey tore them off her face and threw them at the wall as hard as she could, and then lifted her knees to her chest as she started heaving gross, ugly sobs.  She didn’t want to have to live like this. Lying to everyone, keeping secrets from people she cared about, acting like everything was  _ fine  _ when her job included killing people, and being attacked by aliens, and she didn’t want to be 64 and looking like this.  She didn’t want to lose Peggy, but it was happening anyway. She didn’t like that she kept hurting everyone. Audrey hugged her knees tight as she cried, the weight of everything crashing down on her all at once.  

She sat on the couch sobbing and holding her knees for what could’ve been minutes or days.  Audrey couldn’t breathe. Everything was  _ so much  _ and she had no idea who she was supposed to be—she was an agent, a daughter, a friend, a teammate, an Avenger.  But that was so much, she didn’t know how she could spend time being all of those things and still have time to be Audrey.  

As she sucked in breaths, she found herself growing more and more angry.  Did she blame Steve? Was it Steve’s fault? He had no control over whether she’d inherit super soldier genetics.  But he’d had a choice. And she hadn’t. He’d just given her these abilities that she didn’t understand and this aging that meant she had to watch everyone she loved die.  He’d just given her all of this, and then left. 

Audrey didn’t know how much time had passed.  Everything felt like it was underwater, and she just kept pushing herself deeper and deeper into the corner of her couch, trying to escape it all.  At some point, someone started knocking on the door. The sound was grating and awful, and Audrey pushed her hands over her ears and tried to drown it out.  She felt like the world was squeezing in on her. She felt like she was suffocating. 

There was a loud crash.  Audrey’s eyes snapped open.  Through her tears, she could see her door being kicked down, and Steve rushing over to her.  He was trying to reach her, his hands on her shoulders, but Audrey pushed them off. “Stop,” she mumbled through her tears.  “Stop.” Steve listened, leaning back onto his heels to give her space. 

Eventually, the tears ran out and Audrey was just sitting quietly, staring at nothing in particular and holding her knees.  She was shaking, too. When had she started shaking? Everything felt unreal, like she was seeing it through foggy mirrors. She sucked in a breath and held it.  

Audrey could remember moments like these when she was younger, and how Peggy had always been there when it all got to be too much.  But she hadn’t had one this bad since her mother had gone away. She tried to remember how Peggy helped her through them, but couldn’t.  She could only remember how it felt to have her mother’s arms around her in the aftershocks of it all, keeping her safe. She was too old now to crawl into her mother’s arms.  Far, far too old. 

Steve was looking at her now.  Audrey couldn’t tell if his expression was one of fear, or concern, or both.  She felt heavy. She didn’t want to look at him, to have to try and make him understand what had just happened when she herself did not.  But Steve was nothing if not stubborn. 

Audrey rubbed at her eyes, swollen from the tears.   Her head was throbbing, her tongue heavy and bitter in her mouth.  

“Hey,” Steve said quietly.  “What happened?” 

Audrey shook her head.  Not as in  _ no, nothing happened.   _ More as in,  _ no, I don’t want to talk about it.   _

“Is there anything I can get you?  Water?” Audrey nodded. “Tissues?”  Audrey nodded again. She sat quietly, grateful that Steve wasn’t prying.  She watched him go to her kitchen and stare, perplexed, at her water filter before giving up and just running a glass under the tap.  He brought over the roll of paper towels too, and settled them next to her. Audrey blew her nose until she could breathe again, and then gulped down the water, setting the empty glass down on the end table when she’d finished.  

“What else can I do?” Steve asked.  “Are you hungry? Or do you want to rest?”  

Audrey cleared her throat.   _ Both, honestly.   _ But maybe food first.  “I’m hungry,” she said.  

“Do you still want to go to that diner?” Steve asked.  “Or I can pick up food and bring it back here. I don’t have to stay, I can go.”  

“Please don’t go,” Audrey blurted out.  “People keep leaving, I—I don’t want to talk about what happened but I don’t want to be alone.”  

Steve nodded.  “I’m here.” 

“We can get takeout,” Audrey offered.  “If you’d like that. Or there’s a Chinese place nearby that delivers.”  

“I haven’t had a lot of Chinese food before,” Steve said thoughtfully.  “So sure. Do you want to put a movie on? After we order maybe?” 

Audrey nodded.  That sounded nice.  She wanted to sit, and think about something else.  A movie sounded perfect. She went over to her drawer of DVDs and started to comb through it in search of something that Steve would understand and that wouldn’t give her a headache.  When she finally located her copy of  _ Finding Nemo _ , she smiled to herself.  Perfect. 

After she’d made a list of food and given the phone to Steve so he could order, she settled back on the couch, hugging a pillow.  Everything felt a little numb, a little hazy. But at least she didn’t feel like she was exploding anymore. 

Steve settled next to her, and Audrey hit play on the movie.  In the aftermath of all the things they’d lost, both super-soldiers felt safer knowing they had each other.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that’s that for 17!  We’ve got about three chapters left (though the last one is more of an epilogue).  I’m thinking I’ll post the first chapter of Nodus Tollens at the same time as the epilogue of Monachopsis, so that it’s easier to keep track of and so I don’t leave you all hanging for too long.  Does anyone think that would be a good idea?
> 
> This chapter introduces a new aspect of Audrey’s character that I plan to delve into more in Nodus Tollens.  It was actually brought to me by LadyBritish, who said that she identified very strongly with Audrey as an autistic character and asked if I would be willing to introduce that into the story.  I myself am not autistic, so a big thank you to her for explaining things to me so well and for looking over scenes like this to ensure that I portray autism accurately. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  I’d love it if you could review and let me know what you thought about Audrey’s bonding with the team, the Aud-Squad, Audrey’s meltdown, and her bonding with Steve afterwards.  See you next time! **Chapter Eighteen:** Change is Everything 
> 
> _“I would’ve married your mother in this church,” Steve said quietly.  “I had a ring. It was cheap, but it was all I could afford. I knew she deserved much more than that, but--” He stopped, and took a deep breath.  “I was going to propose to her when the war was over. I guess they never--I guess they never found it.”_


	18. Change is Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trip to a chapel, good riddance, and losers in a diner.

“ _ You go to work the next day pretending nothing happened. _ _   
_ _ Your co-workers ask / if everything’s okay and you tell them  _ _   
_ __ you’re just tired. / And you’re trying to smile.  And they’re trying to smile.”

-Richard Siken

Two weeks later found the Avengers united once again.  This time, it was not to fight Loki, but to see him off.  Tony’s groupchat had sustained itself in the meantime, filled with strange jokes, updates on Clint’s search for a new pizza place to frequent, Steve’s occasionally confused remarks, and Tony’s relentless texting of tabloid links regarding the Avengers, with headlines growing increasingly and increasingly ridiculous.   _ “Is Lady Liberty Iron Man’s Daughter?” “Black Widow and Hulk having secret affair!” “Thor’s Girlfriend is Loki’s Secret Lover.”   _

Cleanup crews had begun to approach  the mess that the Avengers had made. Audrey, Steve, and Thor had spent time visiting the battle sites to assist with cleanup.  Tony had donated large quantities of money to help fund the rebuilding project. Pepper was already in the middle of designing an Avengers merchandise line, 100% of the proceeds of which would be donated to the New York Recovery Project.  

Audrey found the new attention odd.  On the subway, people took photos of her or asked for autographs.  Young girls wore red capes. Reporters hassled her so much outside her apartment that she had taken to moving around every few days between her friends’ places to avoid the attention.  

Now, in Central Park, surrounded by SHIELD agents in black suits, the Avengers were circled around Loki, who was muzzled and handcuffed.  Thor gripped his shoulder roughly, pushing him to the center of the circle. 

After Selvig had packed up the Tesseract into a secure briefcase, he handed it to Thor.  Audrey caught Steve’s rather-unfriendly glance at the Cube, and understood. It had caused far too much damage to be kept on Earth.  Within reach of humanity. They were far too careless with such power. And so was Loki, for that matter. Audrey hoped it would be destroyed back on Asgard, and that nobody else would ever have that much power again.  

“Goodbye, my Lady,” Thor said when he reached her.  Before Audrey could answer, he was yanking her into a tight hug.  The embrace dwarfed her. Thor was at least six and a half feet tall, and his arms were enormous.  When he let her go, he clapped her on the shoulder. “You did well, young one. Once I am through with Loki, I shall be back, and I will bring Asgardian mead to celebrate.”  

Audrey wrinkled her nose at the idea, but smiled nonetheless.  “Sounds good, Thor. Thank you for everything.” 

“It was my pleasure,” he said.  Audrey raised a brow, thinking that there was no way he could possibly have enjoyed fighting his brother nearly to death and then having to wrestle him back into an otherworldly court sentence, but she didn’t argue.  

Thor moved on, and Audrey made eye contact with Loki.  “You’re an asshole,” she told him, remembering her promise to Darcy.  She’d never actually gotten the opportunity to punch him in the face, and she doubted that now was the time to do so, but she could at least pass the sentiment on.  

Natasha gave her a strange look, quirking an eyebrow inquisitively.  

“Foster’s intern wanted me to say...that,” Audrey explained.  “It was very important to her.” 

“I see,” Natasha remarked.  

When Thor joined Loki in the middle of their circle, he was holding one side of the Tesseract’s case, and gesturing for him to take the other.  After a quick look around, he realized he basically had no other choice but to take the handle Thor was offering him. Audrey clenched and unclenched her fists nervously as Thor twisted the case.  A blue tunnel of light enveloped them both, so bright Audrey could barely look at it without her head hurting. By the time it faded, the two were gone. 

It was silent for a moment.  Then, Tony cleared his throat.  “Anyone have plans tonight?” None of the group answered, waiting to hear him finish his thought before they agreed to anything.  “Maybe we could all grab dinner. My treat. One last hurrah before we part. Where are we all going, anyways?” 

Audrey hadn’t really thought that far into the future.  London, to see Peggy. And then...nothing. She would probably have to move, and figure out what her job actually was in the post-alien world.  

“Well apparently, my hearing is basically gone in my left ear,” Clint announced.  “SHIELD is consoling me by buying me a puppy.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, elbowing him in the shoulder and explaining, “He will be adopting a service dog.” 

“What she said,” Clint said.  He looked so serious in his sunglasses, but his words made him sound like kind of a mess.  “We’re gonna be laying low for a few weeks before that happens, though.” 

Audrey understood what that meant.  It was recovery time. She remembered being introduced to that by Coulson a few months after Tac Team Q’s formation.  When Caroline had been sent on her first hit, she’d come back shaken. Audrey didn’t blame her--a lot had gone wrong. Their intel had been spotty, and the comms had unexpectedly dropped right before Caroline went to take out the target.  When they hadn’t been able to reach her and tell her that plans had changed, one thing led to another and she had to pull off the job with a knife, instead of a gun. Even though Caroline knew--they  _ all  _ knew--that their target was a bad guy (the kind of bad guy who kidnapped children and used them as pawns), having to be in such close quarters to him as he died was painful.  Caroline was on leave for the next few months, and the rest of the team worked on quietly investigating their next case, until they could locate their next target. 

Audrey knew that Caroline’s guilt had been overwhelming, and that was after killing someone who was exploiting children and engaged in human trafficking.  She couldn’t imagine Clint’s guilt, when the people he’d hurt were fellow agents. 

But still--it wasn’t him.  And for his sake, she hoped he would realize that. 

“When are you leaving?” Steve asked.  

“Tomorrow,” Natasha answered.  She linked an arm through Clint’s.  

“What about you, Tony?” Audrey asked.  

Tony shrugged.  “Same old. Renovating the tower.  Inventing things that make the world a better place.  Pep says I should start my own homeware line--I can see it already.”  He drew out his hands in front of him. “ _ Stark Toasters.”  _

“Incredible,” Clint deadpanned.  “The world will  _ definitely  _ be a better place with the addition of yet another toaster to the market.”  

“Laugh now, but we’ll see,” Tony shot back.  He narrowed his eyes, mock-challenging the archer.  

Audrey, unsure how to comment on the exchange, turned to Bruce.  “You?” 

He offered her a soft smile.  “Tony’s gonna give me a lab and start funding my research.”  He looked down at his hands, and then back up. “I’m gonna work on helping people here and figure out how to use the Other Guy for good.”  

So he  _ had  _ listened to her.  Something warm and soft fluttered around Audrey’s heart.  She couldn’t explain it. She was just happy he’d decided to stay.  

“What about you and capsicle?” Tony asked.  

Steve scowled, clearly displeased by the name.  But Audrey quickly jumped in. “We’re going to London to see my mom at the end of the month.  And after that...we’ll see. There’s a lot of stuff to figure out. I don’t know what we’re gonna do after that.”  

“Keep working on your training,” Natasha told her.  “You’ve got a long way to go.” 

Exercising was literally one of the last things Audrey wanted to do in that moment.  Although most of her injuries had healed, she wasn’t ready to throw herself directly into an aggressive fitness regiment yet. Still, partly out of respect and partly out of fear, she nodded in agreement to the redhead’s suggestion.  “I will.” 

“So...was that a yes to dinner?” Tony interjected.  

Audrey turned to Steve, who shrugged.  “I don’t hate free food,” she said. Steve gave it a moment’s consideration before nodding in agreement.  “We’ll be there,” Audrey announced. 

“I’m in, but only if we go somewhere that serves pizza,” Clint added.  “I mean it. And I don’t want whatever bullshit  _ flatbread  _ they serve at fancy restaurants.  I want normal, oily, pizza.” 

Tony snorted.  “Noted. Does that mean you’re in too, Romanoff?” 

Natasha gave a brief shrug.  “Yeah, why not?” 

Audrey turned to Bruce, biting her lip and hoping he’d come too.  

He met her eyes with his own.  Audrey gave him a small smile. “Uh, yeah, I’ll come,” he said to Tony, but he didn’t take his eyes off the blonde.  Audrey’s grin broadened until she was glowing. She liked Bruce. She liked having the company of someone who was similar to her.  He felt familiar, even though they hadn’t known each other for long. 

“There’s a diner in Brooklyn, Stan’s,” Audrey suggested.  “They’ve got everything. Including pizza.” 

“Great!” Tony cheered, pointing to her and snapping.  “Let’s agree to...rendezvous or whatever at 7?” 

“Sounds good,” Natasha replied.  She turned to Clint. “We’ve got that thing,” she murmured.  

Clint gave her a look.  “That-- _ what  _ thing?   _ Ow!”  _ he cried indignantly after Natasha elbowed him in the ribs.  “Ohhh...that thing. I see.” He looked up at the group. “Well, we’re off.  We have some...official spy business to take care of.” 

Audrey didn’t understand what was happening in the slightest, but she knew better than to try to understand Clint and Natasha’s relationship at this point.  They were partners--that much she knew. But she didn’t know how far that partnership extended. The duo gave them parting nods, before heading back to the SHIELD-issued car that was waiting for them.  

“We should probably head out, too, we’ve got labs to build and science to do,” Tony said, throwing an arm around Bruce’s shoulder.  “Ready, Jolly Green Giant?” 

Bruce winced at the name, but nodded.  “Yeah. I’m ready.” 

“We’ll see you later,” Tony called out, already on his way to the sportscar he had parked on the curb.  Bruce followed him, but waved awkwardly at Audrey before he went. Audrey waved back, a smiled tugging on the ends of her lips.  She hoped that he considered her a friend. Or that he would in the future. 

When the rest of the team had left, Audrey turned to Steve.  “We’ve got a few hours to kill. Is there anything you want to do?”

“Actually,” Steve said, “there is.”  

* * *

Of all the places Steve could’ve picked, Audrey wondered why he decided on a church.  It was a small Catholic parish in Brooklyn that had been there since the twenties, and looked like it was on the brink of collapse.  He and Audrey sat quietly in a pew as people moved in and out of the building, occasionally approaching the altar to leave a flower or light a candle.  

“This is where we had my mom’s funeral,” Steve said, quiet.  “That’s where your middle name came from, right?” 

_ Audrey Sarah Carter Rogers.   _ “Yes.  Mom said you told stories about her--your mom.  She said that she wished she’d gotten the chance to meet her.”  

Steve nodded.  “They would’ve gotten along well.”  He looked around at the altar, the pews, the crucifix.  “I was baptized here, too. Bucky was baptized on the same day, but we didn’t meet until we were in school.  He, uh, stopped some of the kids from beating me up.” Steve looked down at his shoes. “I was planning on spending a lot of time here, before I crashed.”  Audrey didn’t understand, but she waited for him to elaborate. “This was where we would’ve had Bucky’s funeral. He and I came here every Sunday. He was more religious than I was.  I fell out of it after my ma died, but. I still went with him. I never really understood what he was...what he was praying to.” 

“I’m not really...religious, either,” Audrey told him.  “Mom was always busy. We went to Church on Christmas Eve and Easter, but that was it.”  

“I guess it was...I guess it’s nice to feel like we aren’t alone in the universe.  That there’s someone watching out for us,” Steve remarked, shrugging the slightest bit.  A beat passed. “I would’ve married your mother in this church,” he said quietly. “I had a ring.  It was cheap, but it was all I could afford. I knew she deserved much more than that, but--” He stopped, and took a deep breath.  “I was going to propose to her when the war was over. I guess they never--I guess they never found it.”

This was the first she’d ever heard from either of her parents about marriage.  Audrey had always assumed that it would’ve happened, just because of Peggy’s pregnancy.  But she hadn’t known that they’d talked about it, or that Steve had planned on it regardless of Audrey’s existence.  It broke her heart to watch him looking around at everything he wanted but would never have. He would’ve married her mother.  He would’ve had Bucky as his best man. But Bucky had fallen from the train, and Steve had fallen from the sky. They were never given that chance.  

Even now, with a second shot at life, Steve could never get back some of the things he’d lost.  Bucky was still gone. Peggy was nearing the end of her life, as much as Audrey hated to admit it.  Soon, all his connections to his life before the crash would be severed, and he’d have nothing but the city itself to remind him of it.  

“I’m sorry, dad,” she said.  Audrey looked up at the stained glass, where Jesus was being crucified. “There wasn’t a day that went by when she didn’t love you.”  

Steve took a deep breath, and pulled Audrey into a one-armed embrace.  “I love her. I always will.” He took a deep breath, and put an arm around Audrey’s shoulders in a half-embrace.  “You’re so much like her. I couldn’t be more proud.” 

Audrey looked up at him.  “I love you,” she said quietly.  

Steve squeezed her tight.  “I love you too, kiddo.”

* * *

Steve and Audrey were the first to arrive at Stan’s.  

“Two again, sugar?” the hostess, Angela, asked Audrey.  Audrey knew her fairly well--enough to know that her son had his first kid last year, making her a grandmother, and her daughter was starting her junior year at NYU.  

“Six this time, actually.  The rest are coming.” 

Angela regarded her with a look of surprise.  “Well alright, hon, come on.” Audrey and Steve followed as she led them to a large, U-shaped booth in the back, as opposed to their usual seat by the front window.  “A milk for you,” she said, pointing to Audrey, “and decaf coffee for you?” she asked, pointing to Steve. The man nodded. 

“Thank you, ma’am.”  

Angela scowled.  “ _ What _ have I told you about that  _ ‘ma’am’  _ business? I am very wise, but I do not like to be treated like I’m  _ old _ .” 

Steve flushed.  “I’m sorry ma--I’m sorry.  Won’t happen again.” 

“That’s better,” Angela responded.  “I’ll bring some menus by when the rest of your people get here.”  

Nat and Clint arrived a few minutes later, although Audrey hardly recognized them.  Natasha was decked out in a blonde wig and wearing a Culver University hoodie, while Clint looked like every other hipster taking over Williamsburg, in a blue flannel, ripped jeans, boots, and fake glasses.  

“What...happened?” Audrey asked as they slid into the booth.  She cringed at how judgmental that sounded. “Not...not like  _ that _ , more like.  You look very different.”  

Clint winked at her.  “We’re still spies, kiddo.”  

“I’m  _ older  _ than you,” Audrey returned.  “Just so you know.” 

Angela approached their table, two glasses in hand.  “Milk for the lady, coffee for the gentleman.” 

“Thank you,” Audrey said.  Clint raised an eyebrow at her after Angela left, and Audrey knew he was judging her.  “What?” she asked. 

He nodded towards her milk.  “Interesting beverage choice.  Is that an attempt to fight arthritis?” 

Audrey took a sip from the glass.  “No. Milk is just good.” 

“How did you all get here so fast?” another voice interrupted.  Audrey turned around to find Tony standing at the edge of the table, Bruce to his side.  “It took forever to find parking,” Tony complained emphatically. 

Audrey shrugged.  “Steve and I walked.”  

Tony rolled his eyes, sliding in on the other side of the booth, next to Natasha.  “What’s your excuse?” he asked Natasha. The redhead shrugged, opening the menu. 

“We have our ways,” she replied nonchalantly.  Audrey couldn’t tell if she was messing with Tony or not, and she was afraid to ask for fear of looking clueless. 

“Can I sit here?” Bruce asked, pointing to the space next to her on the booth.  

“Yeah, of course,” Audrey answered.  She picked up her coat and strung it across her lap to make room.  Bruce sat down next to her, his knee bumping into hers. “Oh, sorry--”

“I’m sorry, let me--” Apologies began to tumble out of his mouth.  

She shifted a little bit so that he had more room. “Bruce,” she assured him.  “It’s okay.” She let her knee drop, and it rested against his solidly. Bruce tensed, and Audrey panicked again, moving her knee back to a stiff, upright position so that it wouldn’t bother him.  

Audrey cleared her throat.  “Anyone know what they’re getting?” 

“I was thinking a skillet,” Tony announced.  Natasha said something about a sandwich, and Clint--of course--insisted on a pizza.  Steve decided on his usual, a panini with double fries and double salad. Audrey decided to branch out of her breakfast-for-dinner tradition and instead try a grilled cheese.  

“What about you?” Audrey asked Bruce.  

“I’m not--eh, I’m not really hungry,” he said.  Audrey wrinkled her brow. Surely that wasn’t true.  “I’m vegetarian, too. There’s uh, not a lot of options for me.”   _ Oh.   _ Audrey hadn’t known that.  If she had, she would’ve thought twice before suggesting this place.  She made a mental note to look up more places with vegetarian options.  

“What do you want to eat?” she asked, flipping open the menu in search of vegetarian options. “They’re pretty flexible here.  I’m sure they could take the meat off something, or--there’s soups and salads and stuff.” 

Bruce looked at the menu.  “I, uh--” He cleared his throat.  “Do you know if they have wraps here?” 

Audrey flipped through the menu, but couldn’t find any wraps.  “They have quesadillas though? If you’d like?” 

He scanned the page.  “Alright, that sounds good,” he agreed.  

The group ordered, and then passed the time as they waited for the food listening to Tony read outrageous tabloid headlines.  

Not much information had gone public about the Avengers.  They knew their names--sort of. Audrey was listed simply as Audrey Carter, and it appeared that nobody had made the connection between her and Steve.  Natasha was publicly named as Natalie Rushman. They knew their faces, thanks to the news coverage of the battle. And even with just that, the tabloids had managed to create absurd rumors.  One claimed that Audrey and Tony were dating, which had left a gross taste in her mouth. Tony was like her brother. They’d literally known each other since his birth. 

When the food arrived, the group jumped for their plates almost immediately.  Audrey liked her grilled cheese. She decided that it would probably become her new regular order.  Clint complained about the pizza not being up to his standards, but still ate the entire thing. 

As Audrey looked around the table, she was surprised at what she found--they were  _ bonding.   _ She wondered if Tony had meant for this to happen when he invited them out.  Yes, probably, she decided. She knew Tony well enough to know that he sought out family wherever he could on good days.  He had a lot of love he didn’t know how to express, or who to express it to. Things like this--buying dinner for everyone and not protesting when he didn’t get to pick the restaurant--were how he showed he cared.  

They were teammates, yes.  But Audrey wondered if they would ever go beyond that, if they would ever become friends.  Sure, they were friend _ ly _ right now; but she didn’t know if this dinner was an event of them getting together to celebrate an avoided alien invasion, or if it was happening because they genuinely wanted to spend time together.  Maybe it was too early to tell. 

Audrey didn’t know if they would ever need to unite again the same way they had against Loki.  She hoped that the answer was no, and that the Chitauri had been the worst of it. Really, though, she knew that the world was changing.  They would never be able to return to any kind of antebellum. As much as she hated to admit it, she felt like the Battle of New York was only the beginning.  

Audrey didn’t know what was coming next.  She certainly wasn’t ready for it yet. But as she looked at the other Avengers, sitting around the table, laughing through the trauma of the battle, she knew that she would be ready by the time it came.  They would all be.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to Meera for helping me edit this chapter!!!!
> 
> We got more team bonding with these scenes. Audrey and Bruce’s dynamics were very fun to write, I really enjoy their relationship. What did you guys think of the team dinner? Of Audrey and Steve’s scene in the church? Let me know! 
> 
> Next up is Steve and Audrey’s trip to see Peggy, which will feature a lot of Steggy angst! It’ll be fun. I think. 
> 
> **Chapter Nineteen:** An Ocean of Years _Peggy looked at him, her eyes welling with tears. “It’s been so long. So long. I can’t believe you’re really here. You’re alive.”_


	19. An Ocean of Years

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Audrey go to London. Steggy reunion. There's a lot of crying.

" _Hello, stranger / it seems so good to see you back again / how long has it been?"_ -Barbara Lewis

Steve hadn't been in Europe since just before the crash. Like everything else, it wasn't exactly how he remembered it. London was a sleek city now, though it'd maintained some of its more traditional elements better than New York had.

He and Audrey were in the taxi from the airport heading to the home where Peggy lived. He wasn't exactly sure how he felt. Anxious, mostly. And heavy with a sort of grief he didn't understand. The next time he was supposed to have seen her was at the Stork Club. She was going to teach him to dance.  _Eight o'clock, on the dot. Don't you dare be late._  He was going to propose. They would have gotten married, and had Audrey, and raised her together. Every time he thought about it, he felt a pinch of guilt. Steve didn't regret putting the plane down. He knew that if he hadn't, thousands of people would have died. But he still felt the burden of everything he'd lost weighing down on him.

Audrey was watching him intently, her eyebrows scrunched up as she tried to read his expression. He knew he wasn't doing a good job of hiding what he was thinking. He didn't feel any need to, not around her.

Still, even as she watched him, she didn't say anything. And neither did he. The trip was completely silent, save for the radio playing quietly in the front seat.

When they arrived at the home, a large brick building covered in ivy, Audrey paid the driver his fare and the two got out of the car, bags in hand. Steve barely processed what was happening as Audrey spoke into the intercom and a nurse came out of the building to guide them towards Peggy's room. It wasn't until they were standing right outside her door that he snapped out of his haze.

Steve's heart was racing the same way it did when he'd first been in close proximity with Peggy. It was an anticipation, an unfamiliarity. Even after falling in love with her, the past seventy years had turned them into strangers.

There wasn't time to freeze or to turn around, because Audrey was opening the door before he could say anything, and stepping inside.

"Hey, mom," she said softly. A woman was standing and looking out the window at a garden behind the building, her gray hair tumbling down her shoulders in loose curls. She turned around. Her visage struck Steve speechless. Peggy was every bit as beautiful as the last time he'd seen her. She'd aged gracefully.

"Oh, hello, my darling," she greeted Audrey, her face splitting into a grin. She started towards her daughter, and the blonde took a few steps forward to meet Peggy in an embrace. Peggy held her tight, letting her eyes slip closed. When the two parted, Peggy turned to face Steve. She was still beaming. "You're very late," she said, stepping towards him.

Before Steve could answer, Peggy was wrapping him in an embrace. She held him like she was afraid he would slip through her fingers.  _Again._ "I-" he started. He didn't know what to say.  _I'm sorry, I'm so happy to see you, I can't believe it's you, I can't believe I'm here._ Steve swallowed and stepped back. "Hi," he said finally, offering a quick, nervous smile.

Peggy's eyes welled with tears. "It's been so long," she said. Her voice cracked. " _So long_. I can't believe you're really here. I can't believe you're really alive." Her tears spilled over, running down her cheeks. Steve was crying now too.

"I am. I'm here. I'm sorry it took me so long."

"You're exactly as I remembered," she said. "I stopped hoping a long time ago, I-it was breaking my heart. I used to dream that you'd show up on my doorstep, and-" She broke off, coughing.

Audrey, almost instinctively, wrapped an arm around Peggy's shoulders and brought her to the armchair in the corner of the room. She handed her a half-full glass of water that had been sitting on the end table.

"Thank you, sweetheart," Peggy rasped out, taking a few sips from the glass before setting it down. She looked up at Steve, a nostalgic smile tugging at her lips. "I used to dream that you'd show up on my doorstep and I'd sit you down on the couch and say, ' _Just a minute, I have a surprise for you.'_ And then I'd carry Audrey out and show her to you, and I'd say, ' _You have a daughter. Her name is Audrey, and her birthday is August 28th.'_ " Peggy looked out the window. "I just wanted you to know. It killed me that you'd-well, you'd  _died_ without ever knowing about her." She smiled sadly. "I'm so happy you get to know her now. I'm so, so-" A sob cut her sentence short.

Audrey took a seat on the small couch across from Peggy. Steve followed, settling next to the blonde.

"I am too," Steve agreed. "I'm sorry you had to raise our daughter alone," he said.  _Our daughter._ It was a phrase that seemed so foreign, but still felt right.

"I tried my best," Peggy assured him, waving him away. "I didn't know anything about raising children. I've had three, and I'm afraid I still don't. One of them gets herself into all  _sorts_ of alien-related trouble," she remarked, sending a pointed look at Audrey. The blonde flushed red. "Michael only just retired from MI6 but he used to call me every weekend going  _Oh mother, you won't believe who shot at me this time!_  Laura served in the military for years as a doctor-every time she called me I swear I could hear gunshots in the background." She huffed in mock exasperation. "But despite all that, they  _have_ accomplished quite a bit," Peggy conceded. " _Even if_ they're reckless as all hell."

"I think you did a great job, Peg," Steve said. "You should be very proud."

She smiled. "You were the one that knew everything about babies, anyways." To Audrey, Peggy said, "Have I told you this story before? About the village and the children?"

The blonde shook her head no, leaning forward to hear it. Steve smiled fondly at the memory. In the winter of '43, he and the Howling Commandos had interrupted the Nazis as they attempted to invade a village on the French border . When they arrived, they overpowered the German forces but there were still some enemy soldiers hiding in houses and they'd worried about possible hostage situations.

"Your father rushed into a house that they'd seen one of the soldiers escape into, and while he was looking for him he woke up the baby. And he picked it up-this gigantic man dressed like the American flag-and started rocking it until it got quiet.

"And right as he got the baby to sleep, the German ran past him and tried to escape. Your father tackled him to the ground, which of course woke the baby  _again,_ and so he went back to make sure it was sound asleep before he left the house and dragged the soldier out with him." Peggy's eyes lit up as she told the story, and Audrey was grinning as she listened. "Where did you even learn to do that, Steve?"

Steve thought back to his childhood, when he and Bucky had cared for Rebecca as both of Bucky's parents went to work each day, working late into the night to try and make ends meet. "Rebecca, mostly," he said. "She's probably in her nineties by now, but Bucky and I had been looking out for her since she was three or so. She was family. Like a sister to me."

"We can look into connecting with her, if you'd like," Audrey offered.

"Yes, that's a wonderful idea," Peggy agreed. "I believe she lives in New Jersey now."

Steve smiled softly, remembering how rambunctious Rebecca had been as a child. She kept pace with Bucky and his adventures until she'd gone into high school, when she'd for the most part lost interest and they became more focused on making rent than causing trouble around Brooklyn. "Thank you, Peg."

"Of course," she answered. "It's the least I can do."

Peggy folded her hands across her lap and looked around the room. Although it was a nursing home, she'd done everything possible to make it her own. She had two bookshelves full of worn copies of novels and memoirs and short story collections. Photos of her and her children hung on the walls, and some where she smiled broadly next to another man. It left a twisted feeling in Steve's stomach, something bitter. It was hard to acknowledge how the world had moved on without him. How Peggy had moved on without him.

No-that wasn't fair. She didn't have a choice. And he was glad that she'd found a husband who loved her, and had children, and had a long successful career. He just wished he'd been there.

Steve cleared his throat, trying to appear conversational. "So, uh, is that Daniel?"

"It is."

The man leaned on a crutch in all of the photos. "Was he a soldier?"

Peggy looked up at the photos. "Yes, he was. You saved his life in Germany, you know." That was comforting to Steve-that he'd helped ensure a happy life for Peggy, even after all he'd put her through. "He's coming to visit later this afternoon, if you'd like to meet him," Peggy offered.

"I'd love to," Steve said, and he meant it. Even though it hurt to see that Peggy had built the life he'd wanted, with another man in his place, he was grateful. Peggy could take care of herself, but Steve was still grateful that someone had looked out for her and loved her. She deserved that.

"Are Laura and Michael coming?" Audrey asked.

Peggy nodded. "You're going to have to assure Michael that you're okay after the debacle in New York; you know how he worries. He's bringing Paul. Emma's on break from university so she's coming along as well, I believe."

"Oh, lovely," Audrey said. Her inflection was starting to match Peggy's, as a slight British accent made itself apparent. "Will Angie?"

Peggy scoffed, though remained endearing. "It's likely. She visits so often she may as well live here."

Steve searched his memory for the name.  _Angie_. Audrey had told him who Angie was, after he'd woken up. Peggy's best friend. But when he remembered the exact conversation with Audrey, she hadn't said  _friend_ , she'd said  _friennnnnnd_ , dragging it out as if she wasn't quite sure she believed her own words. He'd dismissed it at the time, but wondered now if it meant something.

He and Peggy chatted about everything under the sun for the next few hours-her history at SHIELD, Tony Stark- _("That boy_ ," Peggy had said, shaking her head, " _always so bright but he struggles to keep his head on straight.")_ -Audrey's childhood. Occasionally, Peggy spoke in loops or repeated herself, but usually caught herself as she was doing it. Still, Steve remained fascinated as she recounted stories of the past seventy years. It was only when a knock on the door interrupted him that he realized how much time had passed. The clock on the wall read noon. It couldn't possibly have been two hours, could it?

"Come in," Peggy called. The door opened and an older gentleman stepped inside. He was followed by a group of people, each of whom held bags of food. "Oh, good, you're all here," Peggy said. "There's someone I want you to meet. This is Steve Rogers."

The group remained quiet for a minute, before the older gentleman stepped forward. Even though he leaned on a walker, Steve noticed his slight limp. This was Daniel, Steve recognized. He wore thick glasses, and his dark gray hair was combed to the side neatly. He stuck out a hand, grinning broadly. "Daniel Sousa. It's an honor to meet you, Captain."

Steve met Daniel's hand with his own. "Call me Steve, please. And the pleasure is mine, sir."

Daniel nodded, "Sure thing, Steve." He put his hand on Steve's shoulder, friendly, before he moved over to greet Peggy and Audrey. A man who had curly hair and was dressed in a suit took Daniel's place, sticking a hand out in introduction. "Michael," he introduced. Pulling the other man forward, he added, "And this is my husband, Paul."

Steve froze at that for a moment, before he snapped out of it long enough to shake both of their hands and smile.  _Husband._ Two men, married. Even if the fact surprised him, he didn't find himself bothered by it. Steve had never been one to judge the way people loved. He remembered thinking about what it would be like to kiss Bucky, a few times, when he was twelve and Bucky was thirteen. The thoughts had faded as they'd grown older, but Steve had remained devoted to him as the years passed. Steve had loved Bucky, although not necessarily in a way he understood.

And even though he'd loved Bucky, Steve had loved Peggy too. Which had left him confused. Steve had never understood how he'd been able to have such powerful feelings for both.

He shook the thought away, knowing it was a matter for another time. Steve greeted Laura and her daughter Emma. Emma talked so fast that Steve could barely keep up, let alone keep track of the things she was saying that he didn't understand. He tried to make a list of them in his head, but knew that he couldn't possible catch them all.  _Meme, Twitter, iPhone, YouTube._ His head was spinning by the time she'd moved onto Audrey, practically throwing herself at the blonde in her excitement.

"It's good to meet you," Laura told him as she shook his hand. "You were such a big deal in the family growing up. I'm glad Audrey's getting a chance to know you."

"Thank you, ma'am," Steve answered.

Laura snorted. "You dated my mom. Don't call me ma'am. Laura is fine."

Well. When she put it like that, Steve found himself agreeing. "Alright, Laura." He looked around at all the chaos in the room, and then turned back to the woman in front of him. "I heard you served."

"Yep. Twenty years as a medic."

"Thank you," Steve said.

"Same to you," Laura replied. "You're actually a big part of why I enlisted. I wanted to help people the same way you had, but at the time we were fighting a lot of the wrong battles. So I went to med-school, and I mostly worked with civilians in areas that had been bombed."

He didn't know he'd have that much of an influence. It humbled him, but at the same time made him proud. "I'm glad. The world needs more people like you. People who want to help."

"The world's gonna need a lot of people willing to help," Laura said. "Especially with the fact that aliens are real and. Well, they're here."

War today was very different from what it had been, that was true. The weapons, the techniques, and the enemies-everything had changed.

"Laura, what was that movie that came out last year?" Michael called over to her, interrupting. "The one with the Swedish girl."

Laura excused herself from the conversation and went to join her brother's conversation. As Steve watched Peggy and Daniel and their kids laughing and catching up, he felt a pang of grief deep in his stomach. He felt like an outsider. He felt like he didn't belong here.

"I'm gonna...step outside," Steve said to nobody in particular, before ducking out of the room and heading down the hall. He wanted so badly to be happy for Peggy. And he was. He was really, really glad for her. But  _God_ it hurt. That she'd gotten married and raised his daughter while he was frozen in the ice. That she'd lead such a successful career and accomplished so much and he wasn't there to congratulate her and support her. That she had lived such a full life, and he'd been buried alive under wreckage and snow, somewhere in the arctic.

Steve pushed open the door to the stairwell and ran down the steps until he was on the first floor again. When he shoved open the door at the bottom, it spit him out into a garden. He sucked in a breath.

Not only did he have to die, but he had to live with the weight of resurrection. He was stuck watching the world move on without him. Even though he was grateful to survive, to get a second chance, Steve couldn't help but think that if he'd stayed in the ice, his heart wouldn't be breaking.

He looked around the garden, and then up at the gray sky for a minute, inhaling the cold air and letting it distract him. When the pain had eased slightly, he looked out at the greenery, finding a small bench next to a rose bush in bloom. Steve headed towards it and sat down. He rubbed his eyes.

Would it ever stop hurting? He thought about Bucky's death, which had been seventy years ago. Steve felt like only a few weeks had passed. He hadn't had a lot of time to mourn-even though Bucky was gone, the war had raged on. For the sake of the world, he couldn't afford to lose focus. And then as soon as he'd woken up, he'd been thrown straight into another fight. Now that the fighting had stopped, and the exhaustion had faded, all he felt were the things he'd lost. His best friend. His girl. His life. Steve didn't even know what his place in the world was anymore.

"Dad?"

Steve's head jerked up at the word. Audrey was walking towards him, hands in her coat pockets.

"Are you okay?" she asked, eyebrows furrowed with worry.

He didn't have an answer. Well, he did- _no_ -but he didn't know if he wanted to say it. Instead, he settled for, "I don't know."

Audrey sat down on the bench. "What are you thinking?"

Steve looked at her; she was so genuinely concerned. He couldn't bring himself to lie, or brush it off. "I feel like I shouldn't be here," he admitted. "It's not-it's not my life. I wanted it to be, but it's not." He blew out a breath. "All I can see are the things I lost. I have all these-all these  _nightmares_ about Bucky, and the plane crash, and Peggy, and I-god. It's like I have to relive all of the worst parts of my life every night."

She nodded. "I've been talking with S.H.I.E.L.D. about a therapist. I...I figured that you probably had some form of PTSD, but with Loki and everything…" she trailed off. "There just wasn't time to set it up. But I think that could help you, if you want. Someone to help you process."

A therapist. Steve wasn't sure if he was ready to talk to a total stranger about his trauma yet. Not when everything else was so unfamiliar. But eventually, he was open to it.

"Okay," he said. "Maybe not yet, but, okay."

Audrey nodded, offering him a small smile. "I know it's not the life you wanted, or expected. I wish I could do more to make it feel like home to you. I really wish I could." She looked down at her hands, where she was opening and closing her fingers, somewhat nervously. "I don't know how much help I am to you. But I want you to know that...anything you ask, I'll try and help with. And...you're not alone. We're family."

Steve squeezed Audrey close to him in a sideways hug. "Thanks, sweetheart." He kissed the top of her forehead.

"I love you," she said.

Steve felt something warm swell up in his heart. Pride, that he could call Audrey his daughter. Love, for her and for Peggy. Relief, that he wasn't entirely alone. Steve smiled.

"I love you too."

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This brings the last full chapter of Monachopsis to a close! I'm so excited to share Nodus Tollens with you guys. It (along with chapter twenty) will be posted by the end of this week. Thank you to M for betaing ily! Thank you to everyone who reviews and reads, you guys mean the world to me.
> 
> Chapter Twenty: Epilogue
> 
>  
> 
> And then they were off, driving towards an unknown destination. So much of the world today was foreign to Steve. But despite all the uncertainty, with Audrey by his side, he was starting to believe that here and now was where he belonged.


	20. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A temporary happy ending.

“ _ Nobody knows that the future holds / it’s bad enough just getting old / live my life in self-defense / you know I love the past, ‘cause I hate suspense.”  _ -Vampire Weekend

As soon as they were back in New York, Audrey and Steve found themselves at Stan’s.  

“Where to next?” she asked.  

Steve took a thoughtful sip of his coffee.  “You know, for all the years I’ve spent being called Captain America, I haven’t really seen much of the place.  I did the tour, but that was mostly theaters and buses. I feel like I should get to know the place better.” 

“So what are you thinking?” Audrey asked.  “A road trip?” 

Across from her in the booth, her dad shrugged.  “That’s not a horrible idea.” 

“Alright,” Audrey said, thinking about how to plan a trip.  She could get a car without much trouble, and a map. And some cash.  She assumed that that was pretty much all they needed, aside from clothes and other personal belongings.  And music--music was very important, too. Audrey already started composing a playlist in her head. David Bowie, Cyndi Lauper, and the Pixies were all featured.  “When do you wanna leave?” 

“I don’t have plans,” Steve said, a slight laugh bubbling up to accompany the words.  “Is tomorrow too soon?” 

She considered.  “That’s perfect.”  

Audrey spent the afternoon and the next morning buying a map, renting a car, and counting the money that SHIELD had given to Steve.  They would drive from New York to Chicago, and then take Route 66 until it spit them out on the west coast, spending as much time in each city as they pleased.  She met Steve on the street outside his apartment building at noon, armed with two duffle bags, some sandwiches for the road, and a beat-up red Volvo from the closest car dealership.  

“Ready to go?” she asked him.  

Steve nodded, giving her a grin.   “Ready to go,” he confirmed. 

And then they were off, driving towards an unknown destination.  So much of the world today was foreign to Steve. But despite all the uncertainty, with Audrey by his side, he was starting to believe that here and now was where he belonged.  

_ monachopsis:  _ _ the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for sticking with me in the two years it took for me to finish this book. It means the world to me. I'm so excited to share book 2 (Nodus Tollens) with you. I love you all so much.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](http://hellenistictitties.tumblr.com)/[the tumblr dedicated to this fic.](http://audreycarterrogers.tumblr.com)


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